About DD's name

[user873628]

DH and I have a 9 month old DD. We chose the name Lottie for her, but wanted her to have a formal name so her BC is Charlotte. We always intended to call her Lottie and never call her Charlotte. When she is bigger she may choose to go by Charlotte/Charlie but for now she is definitely Lottie.

In laws hate the name Lottie and always have. They say it sounds like a Victorian servant and is ridiculous and refuse to use it. I find this rude, DH doesn't. In laws do a lot to help us out and are kind people at heart but there is a lot of history between us. Won't go in to what but it's important for the sake of this thread as a small issue ('please call her Lottie') could descend in to absolute chaos quite quickly.

DD is at the age where she should be learning her name, and so I've asked DH to ask in-laws to call her Lottie whilst she is learning it, so as not to confuse her, particularly when they have her for an hour or two without us. DH said he would but they've just come to take her out and repeatedly called her Charlotte and DH said absolutely nothing. I've asked him why now that they've left and he said it's going to cause a huge issue and he doesn't want to get involved. AIBU to want her called by the name we use at the moment?

Just to add, I have no issue with them using Charlotte when she's bigger, but right now she is learning her name and I want to avoid confusion.

Sorry but you are being very unreasonable. They are calling her by her name. I could understand it if they were using a totally different name but they aren't.

My Grandma never used my name .. always used a nickname - she didn’t like the “British royal” connection as she was Irish Catholic.
My siblings have called me a different nickname since birth
I have always known my name.

I’ve always called me daughter by a version of her name nobody else uses .. again, this has all been fine,

You are worrying over nothing.

You’re mostly annoyed because they’re annoying - just rise above it.

She’ll easily, easily learn both names - honestly, you’re going to be astounded by her language acquisition skills and how utterly amazing the next 12 months of learning to communicate are going to be. Enjoy it. Don’t let a petty irritation grow.

I think it's ok for her parents to say Lottie and grandparents to call her Charlotte. I agree with your DH that it's not worth making a fuss about.

My 10 month old goes by two names she responds to both. I don't think it's confused her at all to be honest. It's always been like that we have a nickname and her actual name. Everyone calls her both always has done.

user873628 · Today 17:21

In laws hate the name Lottie and always have. They say it sounds like a Victorian servant and is ridiculous and refuse to use it. I find this rude, DH doesn't.

Don't worry, she won't get confused. My daughter was called at least 3 different diminutives (actually longer than her name) by Russian speaking in laws. She always knew her real name. (They're not Russian, but from a very much non Russian former Soviet Republic).

As an aside, one of her best friends is called Lottie, but Charlotte on her birth certificate and I made a huge blunder by calling her Charlotte - she was in floods of tears. I didn't know .....

You could have just called her Lottie on her birth certificate

Thanks for the perspectives! It's good to know she is unlikely to get confused- that was my main concern.

I'm more pissed off with DH than with them refusing to use Lottie, although I do think their comments about the name have been rude.

For those asking, no, I don't like Charlotte at all. DH and I have very different taste in names and Lottie was a huge compromise from me at nearly 6 weeks old when we had to pick something. It was the only one we could sort of agree on.

she'll learn that some people will call her one version and grandparents the other.

The fact is her legal name is the one the GPs call her .

As long as that's all the GPs do I wouldn't worry.

I get why you're pissed off, and your husbands attitude will continue through life and be the bane of your existence by the way.

But I don't think it will cause any confusion, particularly if it's only them who call her that. My daughter has been called 6 different names that either bounce off her actual name or are nicknames for 15 years now and she's always responded to all of them.

She won’t get confused… you’re being confrontational with the in-laws!

my son has a first name which I use and middle name which his father uses… they are 18 months… answer to both and not confused.

I’ve met me who have such a situation as adults and they will pick their name.

Agreed.
In 18m Lottie will be using that toddler voice to bossily tell them “No gammy! No! my name is Lottie! Silly gammy!!”

She won't be confused.
Charlotte is her name. You're using a nickname. Let it go.

Why did you call her Charlotte if you don’t want people to use this name. Complete non event.

Refer to them as dgm name and dgf name. That's your preference...

For those asking, no, I don't like Charlotte at all.

It's absolutely crazy that you've given your own child a name you dislike.

In all honesty, this would annoy me and it is wrong not to use your prefered version of the name. You aren't wrong to feel how you do but you say "In laws do a lot to help us out and are kind people at heart". I guess the question is, are you annoyed enough by them using a different name to burn your bridges with them or not?

Pay for professional childcare, they’ll call her whatever you want. I don’t think I’d want my child around them anyway, they don’t sound very nice.

It will be fine. Dd will not be confused. My own grandmother called me a different name from the day I was born till I was 38 when she died. It was "the correct version". She also spelled my dbros name as Stephen rather than Steven for the same reason!
Not a hill to die on.

@user873628 her name is Charlotte though. Change it to lottie officially

They don't do childcare, just see her for an hour or so a few times a week.

DH wouldn't have put anything on the BC that wasn't a traditional name. It was a huge compromise.

Apparently Princess Charlotte is called Lottie at home.
You can tell the snobby grandparents that if it's good enough for a princess it's good enough for your little girl.

I don't think it will be even slightly confusing for her. Not even a little bit.

I would find it annoying though because it's rude to say 'oh, we don't like the name you have chosen for your baby' but on the other hand they are actually calling her by her name.

That sounds really annoying, but you could have avoided it by registering her by the actual name you wanted to give her.