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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cheeky grandma putting her granddaughter over our fence

140 replies

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:48

Posted about this grandma before.

Dd has a friend from schools grandmother, who lives at the back of us. The child was often at our house on a Sunday or Dd was there, I didnt mind as it gave Dd an easy playmate, but this child has recently started to say mean things, so I’ve backed off.
Dh has taken Dd out for the day and then she’s due to go to another neighbour friends house for a quick play when they’re back.
I’ve just been sat here in my pjs, under duvet watching Netflix, having a lazy day, when I see this child at the back patio window stood there looking in, gave me such a shock 🙈Ddog starts barking her head off. I say through the glass that Dd isn’t here today, she goes off and I hear her telling her grandma and playing in the garden…?! Am I uptight or is this a bit cheeky? Her grandma will have had to lift her over our back garden fence onto our garden bench.
Similar happened a few weeks ago when I was in alone as Dd at a party and they drove outside the front of the house, calling DD’s name out of the window and asking if she could come in to play.
The grandma has my number, so could have just Whatsapped me if she wanted to see about a play date
I just found it to be a real invasion of privacy to just be at the back patio window looking in, out of nowhere

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 20/10/2024 16:50

CF right there! Nip that in the bud right now or you’ll never stop it.

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:51

Why doesn’t she just WhatsApp me?!!

OP posts:
comedycentral · 20/10/2024 16:51

I remember your last thread, you either need to confront her or get some high spikey trellis!

MabelMora · 20/10/2024 16:52

Move the bench for starters!

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:53

I mean obviously just a boring day at home, but what if dd was out and me and Dh we’re screwing on the sofa or something? Never ever happens 😅but in theory?!

OP posts:
MightSoundCrassButItsFactual · 20/10/2024 16:53

I would call SS lol

coldcallerbaiter · 20/10/2024 16:54

Tell her to ask first. Because that is polite You have a dog that could react to someone suddenly appearing, and also your family might be busy. Ppl can’t literally drop in! Also the children are not close or best friends.

Bonjovispjs · 20/10/2024 16:55

Because you might say no. If your daughter was there and saw the kid at the window, she would probably want to play with her and the grandma knows this.

purplebeansprouts · 20/10/2024 16:55

Tell her to ask as your dog might bite her or you might be shagging on the sofa

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 20/10/2024 16:55

She dropped her granddaughter over your fence into your garden??

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:55

@MabelMora But why should we have to? It’s under a lovely tree in a nice spot for my dad to sit on with his coffee, when he comes over

OP posts:
Jojimoji · 20/10/2024 16:55

Plonking your kid over the fence into a neighbours garden is absolutely outrageous.

Ask granny how she'd like it if you jumped over your fence and stood grinning at her through her patio windows.

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:56

She usually shouts and shouts to her over the fence, obviously I haven’t heard her, so she literally puts her over

OP posts:
FollowingForTheCraic · 20/10/2024 16:57

Jojimoji · 20/10/2024 16:55

Plonking your kid over the fence into a neighbours garden is absolutely outrageous.

Ask granny how she'd like it if you jumped over your fence and stood grinning at her through her patio windows.

This is the way to ask her to stop - climb over the fence into her garden and knock on her windows.

whatsitallaboutthenhey · 20/10/2024 16:58

If she comes over, her grandma drops her over the fence when Dd there and Dd has asked (in the past) and I said ok, as it’s more convenient. But when nobody is there and all locked up??

OP posts:
LazyOnSunday · 20/10/2024 16:58

WhatsApp her and tell her not to do it.

coldcallerbaiter · 20/10/2024 16:58

Moving the bench temporarily will solve it. Or she’ll drop her any way with a hard landing…

Spinet · 20/10/2024 16:58

I would send a message to the GM saying "Evie nearly got an eyeful just then! Can you text before you send her over?!' or similar.

ShillyShallySherbet · 20/10/2024 16:59

Yeah that’s not right. Message the grandmother and say please can you ask before letting your granddaughter over the fence. We have a neighbour who comes over our fence to play with our DC and she used to just climb over herself into our garden at the start, a simple message to her mum the first time it happened saying please can she ask before coming over sorted that out and she’s never done it again.

ilovelamp82 · 20/10/2024 17:00

Whatsapp her. Please don't put granddaugher over the fence. I was naked as I often am when home alone with DH, don't want to scar the child.

takealettermsjones · 20/10/2024 17:01

Never mind ask before letting her over - tell her she's in no circumstances to lift her GD over your fence and onto your property! The absolute cheek

NeckolasCage · 20/10/2024 17:03

‘Dear CheekyGran, please never EVER put Prudence over the fence like that again. The dog went mad and if I hadn’t seen that she was unsupervised in the garden, I would have let the dog out as we thought we had an intruder. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Please never do something so dangerous again’

UpUpUpU · 20/10/2024 17:03

Id use the dog and say it is very territorial. What an absolute cheek!

ilovelamp82 · 20/10/2024 17:05

Also, what if you weren't in? How would she get back?

FloofPaws · 20/10/2024 17:05

It's a bloody cheek!! Plus you have a dog so that's not good, if the dog was taken aback it may have gone for her, in DDogs own property - not good as your dog may have had to be PTS! Tell her to stop and just to WhatsApp - it's fucking awful feeling you can't do what you want to in your own home in case a
Kid hammmers on your back door 😵‍💫