Cheeky grandma putting her granddaughter over our fence

[whatsitallaboutthenhey]

Posted about this grandma before.

Dd has a friend from schools grandmother, who lives at the back of us. The child was often at our house on a Sunday or Dd was there, I didnt mind as it gave Dd an easy playmate, but this child has recently started to say mean things, so I’ve backed off.
Dh has taken Dd out for the day and then she’s due to go to another neighbour friends house for a quick play when they’re back.
I’ve just been sat here in my pjs, under duvet watching Netflix, having a lazy day, when I see this child at the back patio window stood there looking in, gave me such a shock 🙈Ddog starts barking her head off. I say through the glass that Dd isn’t here today, she goes off and I hear her telling her grandma and playing in the garden…?! Am I uptight or is this a bit cheeky? Her grandma will have had to lift her over our back garden fence onto our garden bench.
Similar happened a few weeks ago when I was in alone as Dd at a party and they drove outside the front of the house, calling DD’s name out of the window and asking if she could come in to play.
The grandma has my number, so could have just Whatsapped me if she wanted to see about a play date
I just found it to be a real invasion of privacy to just be at the back patio window looking in, out of nowhere

Unfortunately I live in a modern house with very high fences.
i would love to have more interaction with my neighbours but as I said. Everyone is too insular nowadays.

I remember my grandparents allowing me to go through a hole in their neighbouring fence when I was little to see if the little girl next door wanted to play. Obviously as a kids we thought nothing of it and as far as I know, the parents never complained about it, but I’m sure they must have secretly felt the same way as you. Looking back at it I am absolutely mortified! So no, YANBU.

You are attributing 2024 attitudes to past events. I’m sure no one thought there was anything wrong with your sudden appearances. It sounds a lovely arrangement to me.

I hope so. I do recall once showing up at their back window to the mum looking very shocked to see me there and told me the children and their father had gone away for the weekend. I was always slightly nervous that it would be the mum who saw me first and not the little girl or the dad. The mum was French, so maybe culturally it was a shock to her in the 90s as it would be to a lot of people here in 2024

I'm currently being terrorised by the child across the street too - he doesn't get the message and calls for my DD at least 3 times a day. Last week I had a job interview on Teams and she was at her dads so I resorted to a sign on the door saying "DD isn't here - DO NOT DISTURB" I fully understand how you feel!! I would be furious if a child was in my garden uninvited - especially with dogs around! (I have 3 and while they're cute and fluffy they make so much noise when anyone comes over)

Put your dog over her fence!

How does the child get back over the fence out of curiosity? I think you need to tackle this head on "Hi x. Your granddaughter has appeared in our garden unexpectedly a few times now. Please put a stop to this. Play dates should be arranged by WhatsApp or speaking to me. I understand x wants to play with y but that is not always possible."

It might be a generational thing. Like knocking for your mates before the invent of mobile phones!? But there's no way she should have climbed into your garden! Just tell the nan, please just WhatsApp or text to arrange things in future. Please don't come into the garden and knock on the windows.
There's this one little kid who's friends with my next door neighbours daughter. When they're not in the kid just stands in the communal garden next to their house and shouts the little girls name, repeatedly and for what seems like about 10 minutes! But at least they're not actually on the other persons property.

We've always had at least one Rottie. Amazing family dogs.

Why all the angst?
WhatsApp “don’t ever do that again”

Spiky plants might put grandma off. I too grew up with a gate between our back fence and the neighbours. Different times sadly

I don't think you need spiky plants or dogs just a clear message

Do not put child over my fence again, it's rude and intrusive

I would also use the dog as a reason to WhatsApp to say to check first.
We have dogs, all friendly and well used to children however all my children’s friends (now at an age that they play out) know not to just walk into our garden through the rear gate if we aren’t aware they are coming over, I’ve told them that

1. they may accidentally let one out onto the street
2. the dogs may get startled or get too excited and jump up and I don’t want them to get scratched/knocked over.

I would just send a polite message asking her to let you know if she is planning on sending her granddaughter over so you can make sure the dog is secured and that you can also confirm if she is home.

@whatsitallaboutthenhey I’d have a right wind up with this. Send her a message saying the child interrupted you “doing yourself”, and next time you need to be warned if a minor has been thrown into your garden while you might be “tending to yours privately”… can only imagine the humiliation Granny would feel then mwahahahaha

🤣😂🤣😂