Cheeky grandma putting her granddaughter over our fence

[whatsitallaboutthenhey]

Posted about this grandma before.

Dd has a friend from schools grandmother, who lives at the back of us. The child was often at our house on a Sunday or Dd was there, I didnt mind as it gave Dd an easy playmate, but this child has recently started to say mean things, so I’ve backed off.
Dh has taken Dd out for the day and then she’s due to go to another neighbour friends house for a quick play when they’re back.
I’ve just been sat here in my pjs, under duvet watching Netflix, having a lazy day, when I see this child at the back patio window stood there looking in, gave me such a shock 🙈Ddog starts barking her head off. I say through the glass that Dd isn’t here today, she goes off and I hear her telling her grandma and playing in the garden…?! Am I uptight or is this a bit cheeky? Her grandma will have had to lift her over our back garden fence onto our garden bench.
Similar happened a few weeks ago when I was in alone as Dd at a party and they drove outside the front of the house, calling DD’s name out of the window and asking if she could come in to play.
The grandma has my number, so could have just Whatsapped me if she wanted to see about a play date
I just found it to be a real invasion of privacy to just be at the back patio window looking in, out of nowhere

Tell her that she must not allow her granddaughter to access your back garden, without prior permission from you. In the main, because you have a dog who is protective of the external space, and you therefore do not want her granddaughter to come to any harm physically or psychologically.

Yep this! ^ I had a few CF parents like this when mine were school age. Couldn't be fucked to parent their own kids, so sent them to ours - all the time - as 'they like it at yours because it's peaceful and quiet, and yours have the PS2/PS3/X Box etc etc....'

Couldn't get rid of them, as the parents fucked off out for HOURS and were uncontactable. Sometimes ended up at ours from 2pm/3pm until 9pm. Discovered the parents had been getting pissed at the local pub whilst we babysat/parented their fucking kids!

Happening right now too, with a woman in my road. (At No 5.) She has 2 kids 4 and 6 y.o. and she keeps sending them go to one of the neighbours houses (No 8,) to 'play' with her little boy. No. 5 just says 'oh they wanna come play on your trampoline/in your little pool/on the play equipment on your side lawn, they're begging me to come!' (Sometimes they want to go in and watch the massive telly!) Then she drops them off and fucks off out for 4-5 hours.

No 8 is an unpaid babysitter. At the moment she appears to be seeing the 2 kids as playmates for her only child - (boy aged 3) but it won't be long before she sees it for what it is. Her being used. Took me a couple of years to see it!

These 2 kids do the same as the child in the OP some days. Just come to her window (front!) and peer in and gesture the woman at No 8 to let them in/come into the garden, and entertain them!

@whatsitallaboutthenhey You may need to lock your patio doors and put blinds up, and CLOSE them. Ignore the child. OR as has been said, tell granny that she can't keep coming, and to bloody STOP dropping her over the fence! If she gets salty and falls out with you. RESULT!!!

!

Just send her a message and tell her to knock it off!

"Hi CF, please don't put your granddaughter over the fence into my garden again. I was not impressed to see her on my patio banging on the window."

Can’t you text her and say “please can you text first before sending X over to play?” You don’t need to give a reason. If she does text you arrange it you can then say “that’s fine, please can you bring her to the front door rather than dropping her over the back fence as it bothers the dog. Thanks”

So bloody cheeky. A complete invasion of your space and privacy. I was going to suggest you move the bench so she drops the child into thin air - but that may not end well, and of course the bench is there because you want it there and you shouldn't have to rearrange your garden for this.

All these kinds of post infuriate me. If somebody did this to me, I would be immediately on the case. Either in person or Whatsapp and politely ask them not to do this again. Please get a backbone and stop this now!

Just tell her not to.
Dont be such a wet blanket about it.

Yes I'd play the 'my dog is unpredictable please do not put your granddaughter at risk by doing that. Please WhatsApp me or ring the front doorbell'

Whats app her and tell her to whats app you first to check if its convenient

I wouldn't give any reason. I would knock on the door, smile, and say please do not put your gd over my fence any more. If dd wants to play I will text you. Thank you. How are you?

The thing with using the dog as an excuse is that it suggests that if the OP didn't have a dog this CF would be OK.

And I have to agree that you are being supremely wet about this OP!

I remember your last post about this cheeky grandma. I remember that nearly everyone told you to speak up and put an end to this. Which you obviously didn't do as you're now posting about the same problem. You're allowing this problem to continue by not expressing what is or isn't acceptable to you, just message her now and you can then enjoy your future Sunday afternoons in peace.

WhatsApp her. Say best to message please rather than turn up as you have a busy schedule.

Are you actually going to do anything about this, OP? I mean it's entertaining and all that but why bother posting?

This is the best approach. You said the other DC was being nasty so you didnt want her over - so if you are communicating a boundary now - make it a high/realistic one.

"If dd wants to play I will text you."

Perhaps this is the way to go, she won't be coming back again!!

Reminds me of the time I was sat breastfeeding my then 4 month old in the afternoon on my sofa. Neighbours behind have a habit of kicking balls into the garden (another thread 🤣) these 2 young lads came and knocked on, but given the baby attached to my boob and general undressedness I ignored the door, thinking I'd throw it over eventually. They had other ideas and shimmied up the fence, onto the shed and into my garden
I stood up abruptly thinking it was a burglar or something, dunno who was more terrified, me, or them seeing me standing there with the girls swinging free and they quickly climbed back the way theyd come. I'd like to stay it's stopped them, but it hasn't.
Grandmother is a CF. Just WhatsApp her and tell her straight. You don't need to give any "excuse"
Just tell her to stop it.

We solved all the Garden Intruders when we got a dpuppy when dc were young.
A rottweiler.. Best money ever spent....

I used to have a problem with people coming over my back fence years ago. I planted some really thorny shrubs like Gooseberries and it stopped.

I recommend planting pyracantha along the back fence.
It'll grow up fairly quickly & is as prickly as hell.

Or how about, "Please don't put your granddaughter over the wall into my garden when we haven't made a prior arrangement. This is a total invasion of my privacy."

So the parents have dropped the kid at her grandmother’s house and it’s up to you to entertain her? Piss takers the lot of them

Yanbu. Cf. I wonder what the parents would think of her behaviour. I'd refuse dd playing with grand child if grandchild came over fence from now on. If they can't to front door that's different.

I remember your previous post about this woman. I think you need to send a WhatsApp message to her and say that it is unacceptable or she will just continue. It’s so rude 🤯 clearly a very entitled woman!