Rudeness or offensive

[Littlejewel]

Is it rude to spilt a couple up at a reception without telling them and leaving one of them sat a table with five strangers.

Oh, I didn't notice that. Yikes! 😬

Weird.

I really hate people trying to force me to socialise with people I don't know. You get this is Church, and hobby groups, and on courses too. I think most people hate it actually. Conversation, friendships, and relationships should be organic and natural, not forced.

Blimey - is this what we've all come to?

I was brought up to be polite and sociable in these situations, and I'm a shy introvert by nature. What would happen if we all only ever expected to socialise and make conversation with people we already know?

You say you go to church...well, I would have thought that churches of all places would expect their members to be welcoming and outgoing to new people!! It shouldn't be an exclusive club. What would Jesus say? Hmm - and I say that as an atheist.

I'm in a choir and one of the big things we try to get over to existing members is 'be friendly and welcoming to new people'. We've had just the above attitude in the past where a new person has come along (probably feeling nervous) only to be told by the person in the seat next to them that 'my friend sits there - you'll have to move!' Charming.

I blame the world of social media - anyone who makes small talk or reaches out to a stranger is somehow weird, when it used to be considered polite and a social skill.

What @CoffeeCantata said.

Great post @CoffeeCantata , I'm also a shy introvert but would absolutely expect to socialise with people I don't know well at a wedding (as well as a hobby group, meeting at work etc).

I will neve speak to my niece who was the bride and her mother ever again for their rudeness even the next day. There were no speeches the function just ended and hubby and I disappeared to our room at the hotel. He was appalled by the behaviour of the rest of people on the table that I was sat at. He will not speak to them ever again as well for what they did. The next day the rudeness from was just as bad.

Is there a reason why you posted this thread a second time, despite getting well over 200 replies to your last one?

And why didn't your husband pull up a chair at your table when the food was finished?

We left as soon as we could. I should have walked out right at the beginning and not sat at that table and hubby would have joined me,

That would have been appalling manners.

We would not have cared less after years of being abused by this lot of the family. Many years ago the same SIL ruined our wedding with her behaviour .
So do I care about her daughters NO NO NO. and for anyone else reading any of this I now am receiving therapy from what happened,

You’re not exactly covering yourself with glory here, OP. Why drive 500 miles to the wedding of people you loathe, pitch a fit about sitting with strangers when you don’t like any of the people who were sitting at the top table either other than your DH, AND why post an identical thread to the one you posted in June? Are you still stewing about this?

You knew beforehand you’re dh was in the wedding party so obviously he’d be at top table. Are you usually so dramatic?

But why be driven 500 miles by an 82 year old man in response to an invitation from a woman you’ve hated for almost six decades? Why do you need therapy for what sounds like a mildly uncomfortable social encounter that lasted a couple of hours five months or more ago?

We understood the reception to be of a different nature not what it was in the end.

I'd say it's a bit inconsiderate. But at a wedding you are a small part in a big operation. Sometimes they get things wrong. I'd have embraced it personally. Some people prefer to sit with new people or people other than their partner. But obviously you don't. I'd have just pulled my chair up to my partner's table after then main course. No need to get offended by it. It would not have been intentional against you at all.

But surely that’s on you? I get that you hate your SIL, but you chose to drive a long way to her daughter’s wedding, which you claim you didn’t care about.

I am nt going to post anymore as there are several aspects to this that cannot be written about here.

You haven’t spoken to the bride and groom since? Over a table decision? When the uncle was clearly close enough to get on the top table. Blummin heck 🤦‍♀️

I suspect they regretted inviting you at all. You do sound like you need therapy… but not for what ‘they did’ to you.

And yet you’ve chosen to post about it twice!

Totally normal, why would you want to sit with your partner who you can sit with any old time anyway 🤷‍♀️

Something doesn’t add up here. You’ve had decades to deal with this. If your way of “dealing” with it is to take your hatred of your SIL out on her daughter, why did you even go to the wedding? If your in-laws are so hateful, why did they want your husband to play an important role in the wedding?

I think if she'd pulled her chair up anywhere near the bride and her mother, she would've got a clump round the ear 🤣🤣

So why make two threads months apart about a complete non-event. You sound awful to be honest, no sense of class or self-awareness at all.

P.S. the use of "hubby" and "cow" does your cause no favours...