To wonder why more men don’t get the snip?

[Rainallnight]

When their family is complete.

Sparked by two (separate) people I know who recently got pregnant with or gave birth to their fourth child. Both shared freely that it was an accident - contraception failure. Life with 3 DC is full on and a bit of a struggle already in both cases. Neither felt abortion was an option for them.

When you’re 3 DC in and your family is complete, why on Earth are the men not going for the snip to bring an end to it all? And stop birth control being all on the woman?

There's a small window each month when you can get pregnant (fertile window) it's linked to ovulation.

Rather than asking your partner to go through a surgical procedure that could go wrong, I would suggest keeping track of your cycle if you don't want to get pregnant. It's very simple to do.

Slightly unusual, but I'm on medication which causes birth defects, I’d had enough of hormonal contraception and worried about my coil slipping. DH arranged it quickly when I asked.

I definitely judge fathers who won’t have it done. They’ve seen what their DW/DP has been through to have their child, yet won’t even have a simple procedure done.

Sorry. Missed that. My appologies.

And extremely risky. I knew a mum at my daughter’s school. She tracked her fertile cycle. Mother of five.

Well my husband must be one if the 1/10 as he's had a lot more pain and ongoing discomfort than I have from two pregnancies and births.

But to the original OP, of my close friendship circle, all the men had it after the birth of the second child except for one man (and all the other men had a few comments about that...)

I got pregnant during a miscarriage during the very low bleeding stage. Not sure I was meant to know I was ovulating…

It's a big step psychologically to permanently disable their only essential function, regardless of their current circumstances. I get it.

It's not risky.

She clearly did it wrong. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to keep track of your cycle.

A bit off topic, but a lot of American women don't want to rely on vasectomies since Roe v Wade was overturned, as they could still get pregnant by rape from a man other than their husband. I believe requests for female sterilisation are increasing. Depressing isn't it.

Obviously. she and her husband had a machine that counted days or took temperatures or whatever it was they were supposed to do. Didn’t work.

It la just very convenient though isn’t it that a 10% risk so 90% fine is such a huge reason for men to not do anything. Add in how a lot of men detest condoms even for a one night stand.

They seemingly want to take zero control
of their own fertility. Yet would resent every penny going to said baby of a one nighter.

The male pill stopped during clinical
trials because shocker the same side effects women get where considered too bad 🙄 but it’s fine women can fill themselves with hormones or no sex. So no partner basically.

I never believe the women who bend over backwards defending men who won't do it. Denial.

Indeed but at least their partners are doing their bit too.

You don’t believe what about it?

Not all men don’t wish to have a vasectomy because they are afraid of pain, don’t respect their partner or feel emasculated. Some just plain do not wish to have a voluntary medical procedure.

There is no defending ‘men’ as a blanket wash. Criticise the shit ones and leave the decent ones be.

Yes of course because it's always the responsibility of the woman to fuck her body up so that the man can enjoy hassle free sex isn't it? It amazes me that all women don't insist that their partners have a vasectomy - no snip, no sex!

Since 2020...
Deaths during childbirth in UK)... 13.56 per 100,000 births
Deaths due to contraceptive pill... 3-10 per million
Deaths due to vasectomy... 0.

In your case, if you wanted to know when you ovulated, you could have used ovulation strips (they are very cheap), you could have taken your temperature as well...

If you are bleeding or going through a miscarriage your body might ovulate at odd times. There are ways to track your ovulation patterns no matter your circumstances. If you want to avoid getting pregnant, there are plenty of methods these days. Not getting pregnant is one of the easiest things to do these days.

It is risky. The rhythm method has a 25% failure rate, making it one of the least effect contraceptive methods. Considering a woman has a maximum chance of 30% in getting pregnant on any given cycle, that’s essentially completely non-effective, especially when applied en mass in the real world.

I was actually part of a well known brand ovulation trail taking tests and collection urine samples to be sent off to their lab. Nothing said I was ovulating.

Not that I was unhappy about being pregnant clearly.

edit. Urine tests got sent off on week batch’s and I didn’t get those results till after but the actual test strips indicated zero ovulation.

Me and DH are done having children so he did get the snip. One of our mates doesn't have kids and knows he never wants any but won't entertain getting the snip. He jokes DH has no balls!

You don’t believe what about it?

I don't believe your husband is a decent man, and I don't believe you really think his decision is acceptable either, deep down at least, I think it's denial.

How lame is that. Haha you’ve no balls got snipped.

Mate his not a dog he wasn’t castrated 🤣 if I was a man I’d have to “bigger balls than you mate I wasn’t scared unlike you.”

'From as little as £500 and up...'

When you're literally living payday to payday, £500 is a hell of a lot of money.

My husband has been waiting four years on the NHS. At no point in that time have we had a spare £500 (at least) to go private. It IS a barrier to many people.

Those stats will surely be qualitative data, not quantitative data. In other words, those studies will be based on women reporting their experiences rather than being based on actual proven data. Such as counting days and not having sex on days 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 etc instead of them properly testing their own body.

That failure rate, as far as I can see, is based over a year, so there is a 6-7% chance per month.. but I'm betting that's just women getting it wrong.

Jesus Christ. What did I just read?

I don’t give a crap whether he wants to have a vasectomy or not. I’m completely satisfied with condoms and I never give it a second thought. My DH took 6 months leave to be sole carer to our twins when I wanted to return to work. He went part time at work to facilitate us both keeping up with careers. He got up for every single night waking with them. He does almost every single early morning wake up with them, does all the school runs and all the bedtimes. He shares the mental load with me completely equally.

He is more of a decent man than you will likely ever have the good fortune to meet. The fact you think a gung ho enthusiasm for vasectomies makes any impact on that at all is beyond laughable.

You clearly have a very big hang up about ‘men’. Keep that shit to yourself or reserve it for the shit men in the world who actually disrespect their partners.