To wonder why more men don’t get the snip?

[Rainallnight]

When their family is complete.

Sparked by two (separate) people I know who recently got pregnant with or gave birth to their fourth child. Both shared freely that it was an accident - contraception failure. Life with 3 DC is full on and a bit of a struggle already in both cases. Neither felt abortion was an option for them.

When you’re 3 DC in and your family is complete, why on Earth are the men not going for the snip to bring an end to it all? And stop birth control being all on the woman?

Same here. Came off the pill (which tbf I was happy on) after 27 years. DH doesn't love condoms and neither do I particularly, but we both agree we wouldn't do anything without. So condoms it is.

And, for the 'condoms aren't failsafe' brigade, like all forms of contraception, they're as reliable as the person using them 🤷‍♀️

There are more horror stories about women giving birth though. DH booked his snip as soon as I was 40 and decided I wouldn't want a baby after that age

All these people giving ‘point evidence explanation’ paragraphs to what I said. My point was, we all have a choice on what we do with our bodies. Simple

I'm not sure why a vasectomy is being conflated with childbirth and the man apparently having some kind of debt that needs repaying.

Presumably having kids was a joint decision that the woman was happy with. If not, why didn't you adopt?

DHs GP called me (with DHs permission) to ask if I was aware!! I said yes and I'm very pleased about it! We already had a DC at that point didn't want more and DH was 38

I don’t know why men want to “keep their options open” because most of them don’t want children in the first place and have to be goaded into it. I think they’re just scared of having a knife near their wotsits

Not a debt - I think it's more a case of appreciating the offer because it recognises that it was the mother's body that did all the work so that the 2 of you could be parents

Feeling very grateful after reading this thread that my dp understands a vasectomy is much easier to deal with than an unwanted pregnancy!

The waiting list was short, healing time less than a week. I have a problem with hormonal contraception due to migraines. It was a no brainer really.

Fgs, what a ridiculous comment!

Women bear children because as it stands men can't share that particular task.

People are just pointing out that as women have to carry and birth the child both parents want - & experience not only pain but tearing, possibly a c section and all manner of invasive procedures in the process - it seems only fair that the partner then takes the responsibility of ensuring no more pregnancies happen by having a simple operation.

Apparently, the UK has one of the highest rates of vasectomy in the world.

“The highest rates of vasectomy are in Oceania, North America, parts of Asia, and Western Europe, especially in Bhutan (14%), Canada (15%), New Zealand (19%), and the United Kingdom (20%)”

Review of Vasectomy Complications and Safety Concerns

Absolutely astounds me how many of my friends DP/DH won’t get one even though they don’t want any more children.

If both partners are happy to use condoms that’s fine but to make your partner continue to use hormonal contraception, which has a lot more risks than a vasectomy is just proof that a lot of men are selfish wimps.

My DH had the snip. I got pregnant on the combined pill, I then had 2 copper coils over 10 years but found insertion so painful I puked in the Dr's sink 😂 He'd only removed my out of date one. Pill and implant had severe side effects so no good.. DH hates condoms and I'm allergic to latex ones. So he got the snip. Possibly the most romantic thing he ever did ❤️ We're still happily together

That's a false dichotomy. Condoms are a thing.

I'm pregnant with accidental third. It's very much wanted

Would be more effective if you refused to have sex unless / until he has a vasectomy

We spoke about it and both decided that we would rather try other options first. Like any procedure, there are risks.

When condoms fails (as they do, only 98% effect or something like that) then it will be on the woman again!
I agree with OP men should get the snip.

So expensive though to keep using them.

My OH was reluctant to have vasectomy after 3. But a few weeks later came round to the idea and paid privately to get it done. A year later I had to have a hysterectomy.

Why was he reluctant? - sheer bloody cowardice frankly, and I am sure that applies to many men but they won't admit it.

We looked at the stats of outcomes and felt it wasn't worth the risk. We'd already managed 15 years of relying on condoms when needed with no accidental pregnancies by the time it was up for discussion. Decided we'd just carry on as before.

I knew someone would post this bloody stupid ignorant comment. 🙄

If we had sex every day for the next 10 years (I'll be nearly 60 by then) it would still be cheaper than a private vasectomy

But even a vasectomy isn't 100% effective.

100% this. Utterly selfish wimps who don't give a flying fuck about their wife/partner

For me, it's because my Dad has suffered pain in his testicles every time he ejaculates for the last 30 years since his vasectomy.

I know it's a small risk, but it's not one I fancy taking.