To wonder why more men don’t get the snip?

[Rainallnight]

When their family is complete.

Sparked by two (separate) people I know who recently got pregnant with or gave birth to their fourth child. Both shared freely that it was an accident - contraception failure. Life with 3 DC is full on and a bit of a struggle already in both cases. Neither felt abortion was an option for them.

When you’re 3 DC in and your family is complete, why on Earth are the men not going for the snip to bring an end to it all? And stop birth control being all on the woman?

" Not everyone even has a lovely DH who will accept 'not tonight, it's too risky ".

I'm pretty sure that's rape. In that case, this hypothetical woman would have bigger problems than falling pregnant. She should go to the police.

I think we are getting slightly off topic...

I get it, I'm wrong. Doctors from the BMJ are wrong. Studies are crap and unreliable. What they should have done us coming to talk to all of you here on mumsnet, and they would have sorted everything out in an afternoon.

One year control study? What a load of old 💩.

I know of 2 men who had complications, one was left incontinent 😳😞 so I told DH ill stick with birth control.

Fgs - who are you? What utter drivel!
Why is it on these kind of threads we always get either men or women spouting rubbish and supporting the crappest aspects of men??

I can't believe you are actually suggesting women should be faffing about monitoring their fertility cycle so a poor ickle down trodden man doesn't have to have a safe, simple procedure which could help his partner to not become pregnant. Because he might, just might, suffer a bit of discomfort.
Honestly, this forum is so astounding sometimes!

Lol..and who are you?

A bit of discomfort? What about possible side effects and the chances of permanent infertility which can be as high as 90% depending on the time frame?

Asking someone else to undergo a medical procedure because you have to 'faff around' every now and again is barely something to be proud of..

Unfortunately, I know cases as well... all medical procedures involve a risk.

Permanent infertility is the fucking point 😂 dear God

In OPs case. We were speaking more generally. Unless we weren't, then I don't fully understand why we're discussing irregular periods and other personal issues other women here have mentioned.

In general, people change their minds. I was 100% against having children until I was 38. A sterile man would be no good in my case, would they?

Don't be so ridiculous.
You are clearly a man pushing a male agenda.
What about what women go through with an unplanned pregnancy.
Keep it coming I am in the mood for a fight here.

A vasectomy is permanent infertility by design. Permanency is the main feature, not a flaw.
True, if you want children a sterile man is useless. Luckily for you, 99% of the worlds men haven't had the snip. So why do you even care what other people ask their DHs to do?

Yes, permanent infertility is a hilarious thing to complain about when it's the entire point of the procedure!
😂😂 Showing your stupidity there!!

As does pregnancy.

Also I have also heard the snip most definitely can cause infertility 😂😂😂

You are the ridiculous one. Write my nickname in the search engine on mumsnet, I have created different threads. I have been here for several months sharing my ideas and making my enquiries about several issues.

I'm not in the mood to carry on having a conversation with a person that completely lacks common sense and is so self centered that is defending the idea that all men should have a vasectomy to stop women getting pregnant. I have better things to do than spending my time trying to reason with a person who is unreasonable.

I have been perfectly capable of following a method that is over 99% effective to prevent a pregnancy when I didn't want one. I stopped the contraceptive pill when I was 32 because it started creating issues for me, and since then, I've managed to not get pregnant with very little effort. Walking to the shop once a month is more difficult than not getting pregnant. So, the idea of asking my partner to get a medical procedure when I can do something as easy tracking my cycle wouldn't even cross my mind.

I don't have the same low opinion of men as you seem to do, maybe it's because I don't surround myself with bad men.

The women who on this thread were complaining about their male partners stepping up to get this simple medical procedure are women who have put themselves through pregnancy and child birth to ensure both they and their partner can become parents.
That was the original discussion.

Obviously I am not suggesting all men should have a vasectomy but I do think if a man is expecting his partner to go through something as potentially dangerous and painful as child birth, often more than once, then I think it isn't that unreasonable to expect him to consider having a simple and, on the whole, safe procedure to help protect her from further pregnancies.

It's really tedious when people accuse posters of being a man just because they don't like what they said. It certainly does nothing to strengthen your argument.

And it's tedious when people like the poster I was talking about come up with ridiculous arguments that appear to protect men to the detriment of women.

Tbf I was going to say the same thing. It’s difficult to read that a woman thinks a man’s medical needs trump women. Especially when they have been on mumsnet for a long time and see the inequality daily. It’s easier to believe a man would think this.

But you can’t argue with ignorance.

That’s my life, thanks to DH’s ex - plus the vasectomy was botched, so no kids AND no sex for me. DH is lucky that I love him this much 😐

Its apparently not so rare in the states.
But I can't remember where I read about it.

Hmm, really?

Let's not start accusing women of this particular motivation for wanting their partner to have a vasectomy off the back of one MN thread and your "I think I read it somewhere..."

Thread police?

One would bloody hope so 😁

That's not the same. Accusing someone of being a man is equivalent to troll hunting. It's lazy.

I suppose if women keep taking the pill without question then many men will think "Well I don't need a vasectomy." The onus is (wrongly) put upon the woman.
My husband had the snip after we'd had our daughter (his first and last child). We both decided no more children and he respected the fact that the pill is not without its symptoms and risks.
I fell pregnant on the pill twice in my late 30s/early 40s (with perfect usage). My consultant referred to us as having "hyperfertility". It would also explain why I became pregnant about two months after husband's snip (and still on the pill!)
Both pregnancies resulted in miscarriage which my last pregnancy being an ectopic. I was quite far gone and had no idea until I started bleeding internally and rushed into emergency surgery.
For us a vasectomy was the only solution.

Is it? Ok, whatever 🙄

Accusing? 😂 Surely you meant assuming.