School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

I think there are a few things happening here. The first is that I don't think you communicated with the school enough. When my kids were at school I would ring every single day of absence with an update and I would ask them what was needed if it got to two or three days off. I would only not ring if they said I didn't need to. It sounds like you initially made one or two phone calls and thought that was enough. I don't think that's enough communication for such long absences. That's why they were chasing you because you weren't phoning them. Secondly, you do sound a bit over anxious about illness. For chicken pox you don't have to wait until the spots have healed just until they are scabbed over. You mention some quite extreme outcomes from normal childhood illnesses - and that makes you sound a bit overprotective. So it's likely these two things put together that have meant their safeguarding processes have kicked in. I would learn from it and make sure to stay in better communication with the school next time. I would have an open and frank conversation with them in a calm manner. Take your medical evidence in with you and listen to what they need from you and let them know you didn't realise you had to keep phoning with updates and that you will do so next time. If you work with the school that will reduce concerns on their part.

Attendance is huge in schools. Schools are required to check that children are safe and some parents lie so it can be challenging to check they are safe.
We had a parent whose child was hospitalised and then absent for ages and I understood that they thought we were being intrusive but we needed to check they were safe as we only had mum’s word for what was happening. I contacted the Doctors to check they had been seen by them and were safe. That may have seemed too much for many but if mum had been lying and something awful had happened, parents, the media and society would be up in arms that the school had so easily accepted what mum had said.
Safeguarding can often be uncomfortable for the adults but we owe it to the vulnerable children in our society to still ask questions and check when needed. Not asking/checking for fear of upsetting an adult is not a good enough reason for me to not safeguard children.

There is a lot going on in this thread! I've worked in secondary schools for 30 plus years, and I deal daily with parents who are angry with my school or distressed or in despair with various things.
Schools can't get everything right, not everyone's judgement is perfect all the time. We also struggle to fill vacancies and some key staff are themselves sometimes sick. We have also had 14 years of neglect and abuse from a hostile tory government who neither understood state education nor cared as covid tore holes through our provisions and progress.
Until the housing and cost of living crisis eases I can't see things changing that much. But we will be open again on Monday doing our best, and myself and the rest of the safeguarding team will be braced for the disclosures some children will make as they view the oncoming half term not with happiness but with fear.

The system is broken. Attendance is at an all time low. Instead of looking at the system and changing it the fine and harass parents with kids who are genuinely unwell.

I think they need to shorten the summer and offer a discretionary week that parents can take at anytime. Them people won't feel the need to lie to have a cheap holiday. Then maybe introduce the same system we have at work for illness. You self cert for 7 days and then need a sick note. The problem is things are different everywhere depending on you LA. My nephew had 2 term time holidays last year and they weren't fines. My daughter had chicken pox and I had constantly harassed. She finished the year with 95% attendance.

There is no ‘outstanding badge of honour’. Overall effectiveness grades have been removed.

That won't work for a number of reasons.

Shorten the summer holidays - where is the money coming from to pay school staff the extra, seeing as they will be working more days than contracted for? If people can take a week off anytime, will parents accept lower exam results when they inevitably miss something important? Will parents take responsibility for catching up on the 25 missed hours of learning without adding to teacher workload by insisting that this is provided?

Self-certifying only works with people where there is a consequence to not attending. Every workplace has an attendance policy where you can get fired if you do not attend after so many incidents in a year, because, inevitably, people will take the piss. That will be even more the case in schools with weak parents who will give in and lie about a child's illness rather than trying to force them into school if they do not have to medically certify absence.

This is ridiculous and i’d be booking an appointment with the head. My DD was off a lot in year 9 and we got an attendance warning, the funny thing was it was them sending her home not me not sending her in. They wanted medical evidence for every absence. Absolutely ridiculous as she had an ongoing illness. She actually left this summer with all 9’s in her GCsE’s so their letter saying it was affecting her education was laughable. Yes target those whose kids are genuinely skipping school, but in this case? It’s too much and i’d be tempted to complain higher about this.

I think you should pull her out of this school and find one staffed by rational adults who can be trusted to look after children.

What they are doing shows such a lack of judgment and common sense, that it calls that into question.

I remember being really ill with chicken pox in my teens and off school for ages.

I think having to ring every day is ridiculous

The system is broken. If my ideas won't work then as a government they need to find something that will.

Just to add. On top of harassment to sent sick child to school. One day despite knowing my child wasn't well enough, the ongoing pressure from school was making me question my sanity. I sent child in with a promise from the head that they would call if any concerns. I sat by the phone all day expecting a call. When I picked child up her class teacher told me child has been so ill I am really concerned about them. (This was the start of an illness that left her under hospital medical care for months I will always wonder if I had trusted my gut if she would of not got so severely ill)
I was devastated that my child had been kept in school so unwell, that I had sent her and that know one had contacted me.
I lost all trust with school.

The hospitalisation was in Reception last academic year when she was 4. This Academic year, where she's been absent for around 50% of the term so far with two illnesses, she'll be 5.

@Owly11 the official government guidelines say “AT LEAST 5 days from the onset of the rash and UNTIL ALL blisters have crusted over”

so, according to the rules it was impossible for me to sent her back before 5 days...
Yet they were calling me on day 2 asking where she is and why she was not in school!
Came round to the house with an attendance letter....
when it was not even my decision to keep her off, it is the rules.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/infectious-diseases-schools-and-other-childcare-settings/how-long-should-you-keep-your-child-off-school-checklist-poster-text-version

Would you constantly call the school when your child was in hospital laying in a bed on a drip? Waiting for the results of serious tests?!
I let them know she was in hospital, message and phoned.
The next day they called me and my partner multiple times to ask where she was and when she was coming back.
I was talking to the doctor and my phone was going off multiple times from the school!

When she was discharged they were coming round every day to “encourage” her back, even when the doctor at the hospital said she was not better and needed to rest and home to recover fully before going back.

Why make a stressful time even more stressful for the parents?
The last thing parents need in times like this is stress from the school.

My child was admitted to hospital - the only thing on my mind was my child. As it should be. Not communicating with the school!

The solicitor has said this behaviour was definitely classed as harassment, he said we deserved a formal apology.
That is coming from a professional.

overprotective?
my child has been ill and the things I mentioned have unfortunately happened, not things I am trying to prevent.

I can't believe how intense they're being when you have told them constantly what's going on, and her only being 4. How stressful having all that additional pressure when you're already stressed that your child is sick.
There is no compassion here at all

@Changeagain3

Sorry to hear this happened to you too and hope your daughter is OK.

This is what happened to us too.

Their behaviour towards us during this time has also made me lose all trust in them too.

I don’t trust them anymore to take care of my daughter after seeing what kind of people they are.

I’d write a very clear timeline of each event, including the information about the ear infection and send it along with a complaint to the governors.

I’d make it very clear that whilst you understand that this is policy, there is benefit in applying this sensibly and in a way which doesn’t make things worse.

Another safeguarding red flag is parents absolutely losing the plot when challenged. Everyone knows that safeguarding children is made up of fragmented information and putting puzzle pieces together. You will be making this a thousand times worse for yourself by overreacting.

Just communicate with the school calmly.

In the UK it costs £75 for each vaccine. So the course is £150 per child.

It's not part of the vaccine program.

@Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot

overreacting? 😂

they have no right to “challenge” us though.

There is NO safeguarding issue.

How can there be a safeguarding issue when she’s in the hospital?

Or when she’s got chickenpox and it’s been confirmed by a doctor?

When she’s seeing the paediatric consultant, ENT consultant, GP.. multiple medical professionals.
None of those have ever raised any safeguarding concerns!

They are using “safeguarding” to push their attendance agendas and using it as an excuse to behave the way they do - when there is NO safeguarding issue at all.

This is abuse of power.
And, as a genuine mother who is trying to protect my child and keep her safe and well, do NOT deserve to be treated this way. So, yes, I am standing up to them! As we should.

The thing is they can't be putting all this energy into every child with low attendance, it sounds like they have some other concerns about her. Have you asked them outright? You cna do a data request.

Several people have explained to you how attendance is linked to safeguarding. I am not sure how it can be made any clearer to you.

You can drop the hysteria about being a ‘genuine mother’ as well. It is tiresome.

Also it spreads the virus's around. Surely after COVID you would think there would be more sense.

Virii?

One of mine spent time in hospital as a young child @1993baby. When they were there, my entire focus was on them (DH looked after the older ones) and if the school had been phoning every day, I would have blocked them. They would have been welcome to call round the house, though the child wouldn't have been there, obviously! No doubt DH would have told them, probably quite abruptly, that we had informed school child was in hospital.

When one of my DCs is in hospital, I couldn't give a flying fuck about a school's attendance policies quite frankly. Nor would speaking to them daily be at the forefront of my mind.

So you would be perfectly calm and only thinking of communicating with the school when your child is very ill?

Meanwhile genuine safeguarding issues are harder for staff to deal with so the focus on situations like sick children who are missing due to health and where parents can't snap their fingers and make the health problems disappear.
I would much prefer a healthy child attending school regularly than see them sick frequently with hospital interventions they have had.