School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

I see why your annoyed at the school… they are being over the top!

they have a duty of care to you’re daughter too… there been many sad cases were the school has missed signs of abuse… one is frequent absences.

But regardless they seem not used common sense and almost protocol driven without actually listening.

I would change school personally- seems there is a breakdown in trust or get a solicitor to send them a letter.

“”but a recognition that the first step in safeguarding is being able to clap eyes on a child and see that they are OK.””

Not really …. First step is stating that there is a reasonable cause to believe a child is at risk….and based on what.

I am saying this never happened. Doctors would written a note ( I have done hundreds) suggesting the school asked for photographic evidence is disingenuous.

Well in this case, not seeing thr child in school for weeks at a time.

We have addresses and phone number for parents/guardians for all the children that attend school.

But seen by medical professionals so not missing. Seen by the school staff with Chicken pox on Tuesday why harassing again on Wednesday when Chicken pox isn't a 12 hour illness

The OP’s child has not been off for “weeks” at a time. It’s good schools are ensuring safety and safeguarding by doing due diligence. This is a step too far though.

@Neurodiversitydoctor, my DC's school have pages and pages on file from our neurodiversity Paeds and Psychologists, reports, letters, plus the health team kindly attend school meetings to describe DC's challenges in a school setting and consequence for DC's mental health. Despite all this health input, DC's school continue to ignore their suggested strategies, code DC's absences as unauthorised and at the same time ignore the provision in DC's EHC plan that a court has determined DC should have in order to be able to access education. Don't underestimate the extent to which some schools have lost the plot on attendance and are pursuing SEND parents and children, or children and families coping with serious ill health. Sadly there are some very inappropriate parent blaming narratives in circulation which make life much harder for families of disabled or seriously ill children.

I never thought I would see this in British schools, but sadly I think we are at a point where some schools are creating hostile environments for SEND families and children, and are quite happy to see that force SEND children out, if that boosts their targets and reduces financial pressures.

I am talking about a child in ICU no way would the school ask for photographic evidence of that.

SEND provision is much more complex ( and more frequent) I think to a large extent the schools' hands are tied, particularly large secondary academy trusts.

Apart from the longer illnesses you mention (chicken pox, tonsilitis) has she had any other absences? Days for coughs/colds, any family holiday?

We have had similar harassment on a couple of occasions from schools OP.

Once when one of our children was in reception after having a sick bug, followed by chicken pox followed by tonsillitis over a 4 month period. I had the headteacher on the phone going through each day of absence, I'm not sure what she expected me to say.

A second time when one of our children was seriously ill and we were under a huge amount of stress already. The school had letters from our GP and 2 consultants and were still contacting us about attendance despite us keeping them updated. I couldn't believe how they were acting under the circumstances but it paled into insignificance at the time. We met parents of other ill children who were also getting harassed by school.

For the poster shocked that you struggle to swallow water or saliva with tonsillitis, you don't know what you're talking about. It's common. Tonsillitis isn't just a bit of a sore throat.

To add, the safeguarding 'reason' was used to justify harassing us over attendance too but it was bollocks. They were sending attendance/ welfare officers to our house when my child was in hospital or on days he had hospital appointments so would be seen by a medical professional, which we told the school about and provided evidence to them for. On one occasion they tried to insist my child was woken up so they could see them, even though he'd been seen by a consultant a few hours before and were annoyed when I refused.

We also had them call us to say they were outside our home and to ask why we weren't at home if our child was ill, with a tone very much like they thought they'd caught us out. We were at the hospital with our child who was having a scan, which the school knew about.

It got much worse but the details could be outing.

Attendance is really being pushed in school. Not just due to post-Covid drop in attendance but a recognition that the first step in safeguarding is being able to clap eyes on a child and see that they are OK

That makes perfect sense but if a child is in hospital, it's pretty clear that they are not ok, but being supervised, so the healthcare professionals would pick up issues.

It does sound like schools need to use common sense - there was another thread about the funeral and the school's ridiculous (and frankly cruel) attitude.

Not sure how the best parent in the world could prevent their child getting chicken pox if it's going round - even if vaccinated which is not on the NHS programme yet or only has been for a short time - so why does getting ill make someone a safeguarding risk? And while it's unusual to be hospitalised with chicken pox it is not unheard of - and if I know that as someone who doesn't work with children daily why don't they?

@Chasqui you've sadly outlined the situation I was referring to in my post. You're living it. I am part of various SEN groups and parents are being gaslit severely. I understand that schools are in a really difficult position as these rules are being thrust upon them from higher up.

In the case of OP, I believe it's an issue of individuals who are completely insane, power hungry nightmares. The school could use discretion here so it's all very weird.

We also had them call us to say they were outside our home and to ask why we weren't at home if our child was ill, with a tone very much like they thought they'd caught us out. We were at the hospital with our child who was having a scan, which the school knew about

Blimey. Still there are a lot of people who think that if you are ill you should not be going out. Sometimes going out makes you feel a lot better but a short walk round the block is somewhat different to a day at school or work!

Another thing that schools forget is that they don't make any allowances when the kids are back. So you don't want kids going back when they aren't really well enough, because they will be expected to perform as if they were 100%, doing PE etc. So taking an extra day off can make all the difference.

They're not really are they. It's a bit OTT.

My kids breezed through chickenpox in a couple of days but dgs was awfully poorly it lasted weeks his immune system was shot and it was one thing after another.
Metatone tonic is good to build poorly kids back up
It's pretty normal for young kids starting school to be hit by illness.
This really is harassment what you have described. Let SS see for themselves if they come out.
Poor you.

I am angry on your behalf OP. Blatant harassment. Are the school trying to force certain kids out so their attendance statistics go up?!

They have duty of care, often abuse victims have loads of time off school so they r just doing their job, u r being over sensitive.

Then why make it all about attendance?

Some disabled children and children with serious health conditions have time off school. Treating the families of disabled children as though their children were abuse victims, when their disability and health conditions are well documented, and the only concern is attendance, which is explained by their condition, is unreasonable and discriminatory.

This kind of lazy thinking causes disabled children and their families considerable distress and has nothing to do with safeguarding.

Have you read all OP’s updates? You think expecting her daughter to go to school while she has active chicken pox, which goes against all current advice, is them exercising a ‘duty of care’

I think they need to back the fuck off. It’s obvious the little girl is being cared for and is going through a horrendous time, along with the OP, and the school is making it worse. There is more to safe guarding than just school attendance

why does getting ill make someone a safeguarding risk?

You don't think people who abuse their children are capable of lying to the school about why their child isn't in school?

There are certain pathetic individuals who can get drunk on even trivial amounts of power. Unfortunately some of them are low-level bureaucrats who work with children and families.

That's not how it works. Even government guidance says that's not how it works.

Especially when medical professionals are involved, there is proof of illness and eyes on the child.

They SAW DD with chicken pox and still wanted her in. That is not about safeguarding, it's actually putting people at risk like OP's DD, her classmates, pregnant mothers at the gates etc.