School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

I'm a teacher and I'm appalled! I haven't heard of anything like this happening in the two (secondary!) schools I've worked in. Hope your DD is okay, poor little thing.

I have had to phone parents up about attendance as it was a tutor responsibility in my old school. Always hated doing it. There are some students who have genuinely worrying attendance eg school refusers or ones who just take lots of little days off and miss a lot of content that way, always struggle to catch up. I definitely think those are worse than someone taking a termtime holiday, let alone for genuine illness!

I can understand to an extent schools are under a huge amount of pressure from the government and Ofsted to improve attendance, especially after COVID, but this is completely unreasonable.

This would be my course of action.

They are going way overboard here. Calling you every day while your child in in hospital is outrageous.

A poster on here literally commented to say they were harassed by school while child was in life support.
The OP child wasn't but they were still significantly ill to be in hospital and school should of not been asking about when child would be back (asking how child is kindly is one thing but that's not what happened).
Do you have no empathy for how difficult it is for a parent when their child is very unwell in hospital.

Quite frankly getting back to school is the least of your worries when you main concern is if your child will get through the illness.

The primary school my children go to make contact quickly if they don't have a reason for a child not being in school but if an illness like chickenpox or tonsillitis is reported they don't harass you for a return date.
I'd be very unhappy about the level of contact the OP has experienced - it's as though school don't trust what they are being told.
I am sure there are some parents who are happy to keep their children off school at the drop of a hat but I'd hazard a guess these are in the minority and that the vast majority of us for varying reasons want them back in the classroom as soon as possible.
In the OP's shoes I don't think I could let this level of harassment go without questioning why they felt it to be necessary

It'll be flagged as safeguarding because you haven't rang everyday. Although I do agree whilst your child is in hospital it's a horrid requirement.

But even if they refer to SS it won't go anywhere.

SW "school are concerned dd was off for x weeks in year R"

You "she was In hospital"

SW knows others saw the child.

sW "she was off 2 weeks with CP"

You "yes she was really poorly and ended up at hospital"

SW knows others saw the child

SW "she was odd another week with tonsillitis"

You "yes, she was really poorly and we saw GP 3 times"

SW knows others saw your child.

In an ideal world they also tell the school it's ridiculous to ask a parent to discharge a child from hospital just so they can attend school!

Oldermum84 · Yesterday 22:08
"You couldn't swallow your own saliva?! Wowee... What were you doing with it then 🤣🤣🤣"

Pathetic and ignorant response.

Probably because do many children are sent in poorly so that things spread and more children are off sick.

No, they don't. Not if you or a relative has rung in and told them you're in hospital, have such and such wrong with you and are expected to be in hospital for around a week before recovering at home.

The only time they might expect you to ring them daily is if you're off sick at home with something like a virus or bug and may not know if you'll feel better tomorrow and able to come in - they need to book cover.

I hope you're secondary because primary schools should know their families much better than that. It would be a very rare situation that they'd need to contact medical staff to check that a parent is not lying about something serious like that. They'd most likely already have concerns about the family.. If you're a good primary, you have good relationships with your families and know them really well. A picture builds up from each interaction, from the caretaker to the office staff, to the class teacher, to the head. It tends to be quite easy to spot the liers or exaggeraters, the ones who have health anxiety, the ones who are a bit chaotic and who obviously stay up too late to be up on time next morning to bring the kids into school on time, the ones who tell fibs about having to pick up early for an appointment, when you know they're just going to their caravan or want to set up a kids party early.

We also had a pupil who was hospitalised and off for ages. She had cancer. As far as I'm aware our head did not contact any medical professionals to check the mum wasn't lying. We know the mum. The head had regular contact on the phone to get updates from a personal perspective - we were all so worried about the situation and that she wasn't going to make it. I think the head did go to visit the family for that reason only. I find it really odd that the main reason you'd do a check is to make sure the mum isn't lying.

Yes I do have empathy it’s horrible when your child is ill in hospital. However in my experience it’s much easier just to do what is needed in respect of the school communication, as the op is finding out to her cost. She may even find that the school is more empathic when she treats them with courtesy. But each to their own path.

Maybe the school should treat parents with courtesy

Nope. Quinsy is a complication of tonsillitis - peritonsillar abscess. You can’t predict it and if OP only saw out of hours GP they may have missed it. You seem dismissive and mocking of anyone who reports these symptoms so it’s probably a you problem rather than OP.

Wow. Boundaries. Noone should have to tolerate organisational abuse.

It's gotten so ridiculous now, they think they own our kids! Wasn't so concerned about attendance when they shut the schools for nearly a year in 2020 was they? Or when they send whole classes home because they had been near someone with a cold! You should remind them of this! Fucking hypocrites!

I think it’s also against hospital regulations. They don’t allow photos of those on life support in case they are posted to social media.

Write to your MP with your concerns and copy in the School and thd Doctor, so your rebuttal of their suggestions are on record.

There is nothing amusing about Owly11’s post. She is an extremely serious person who demands to be taken seriously. In no way does she come across as a pompous bureaucrat unable to admit even the most blatant wrongdoing by the institution sge works for.

Write a letter of complaint to the Board of Governors. This is harassment of your family during a stressful time.

All the previous posts saying school are under pressure to maintain very high attendance figures and to treat absences as safeguarding issues are correct.

It sounds as if there are serious communications issues within the school. Who ever is responsible for registering the absences as legitimate & unavoidable is possibly not doing so in a timely, accurate fashion & not making it clear that follow - up phone calls and visits are not required. Very sloppy procedures.
Given that you have been in contact with the school, kept them informed and supplied GP's evidence, I'd say that common sense has been replaced by officious jobsworths.
Not the sort of school you want to be dealing with for the next 6 years.
My advice is, find another school.

Best wishes for DD"s complete recovery.

You poor thing. I would be wild with rage.

This is one of many reasons why I homeschool.

There is nothing amusing about Owly11’s post. She is an extremely serious person who demands to be taken seriously. In no way does she come across as a pompous bureaucrat unable to admit even the most blatant wrongdoing by the institution sge works fo

No, I am not at all bureaucratic and don't work for any institution. I am also as far from pompous as you could possibly get. When you have to resort to ad hominem attacks you know you have lost the argument.

@Owly11 I was always honest and upfront with the school when my children were in hospital, they were still absolute arseholes about it all though!
My youngest has a condition that causes him to miss time off frequently if he is having a flare up and he requires hospital treatment every 4-6 weeks to keep it under control, the school did nothing to help and were awful about his absences.
In the OP's case it sounds like harrassment. It is not helping the child and detrimental to the mental health of her and her family and that is not ok under any circumstances!

Any policy which would expect parents of a hospitalised child to give daily updates at the time convenient to the school is wrong policy

How odd that you think the word 'safeguarding' magically justifies any action, in any context by any authority. Or that anyone who complains of unreasonable, unlawful or otherwise disproportionate actions by an authority is automatically suspicious.

Has the concept of organisational abuse not been covered in your safeguarding training?

The one and only time a teacher has knocked on my door was her car had broken down and she had a vague idea it was my house ( pre-mobiles) I was shocked but drove her home and all good.
If a random teacher appeared at my home to check if my child was sick I would not be happy at all. Who gave them my address for a start. I would be slamming the door firmly in their face. It just doesn't happen where I live. Not in UK so must be a UK thing,