School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

Don't you have to call every day? My son was off for 72 hours with d&v. I told them he'd be off for 3 days as 24 hours needed to pass and he got sick at school. Still had to call daily for it to be authorised.

People are correct, there is DFE guidance and pressure BUT this doesn’t make the details of this case acceptable at all. The school has discretion and frankly even if they are under pressure their role is to be a buffer, not pass on stress to families.
At this point I’d write a complaint. I’d state the hospital calls and safeguarding concern, in the absence of any other concerns and in the context of frequent communication, amounted to such pressure you are concerned about off-rolling.
What does the attendance warning letter say?
In your letter state what is acceptable contact, eg calling between xx and xx only in the case of no contact from yourself for that day. Notification of home visits, and no visits on consecutive days for the same period of illness they are aware of. State the level of harassment when they already have confirmation of the illness and expected absence time frame is causing unreasonable stress.
Talk to your LA attendance team for support managing the contact and to log your concerns

Ringing you everyday when your child is sick in hospital IS harassment and totally not acceptable. It beggars belief that anyone could think it's OK.

I'm glad you got legal advice. I would channel the stress and anger into an official complaint.

@Oldermum84 it is not unusual at all. Children can get really ill with chickenpox. It’s unusual to not be able to drink water with tonsillitis? Have you ever had tonsillitis? The last time I had it, I couldn’t swallow my own saliva never mind water! People can be hospitalised with tonsillitis, it can turn into quinsy which is life threatening. Probably people like you working in these schools!

You have to call every day to report they are still sick

And by making such a fuss, kicking off at the Safeguarding Officer, you've probably flagged yourself as a concern as you might be "hiding something"

Don't you have to call every day?

Not necessarily. When DD had chicken pox , I rang once , they said to send her in when she's better. Same with Covid.

Is there something else you haven't mentioned? It seems quite extreme that someone is coming to your house every time your child is unwell. I've never come across this before when I worked in schools. Maybe when a child was at risk or had a period of unauthorised absence without contact with parents, but not for standard self reported absence.

Have you looked at the DfE attendance guidance I posted @1993baby .

It will explain the school role, other partners roles (GP), sharing of information, working together, safeguarding etc.

If it was as you say it was, then that’s ridiculous especially for a child of that age. Sounds like the school is under pressure to improve attendance - don’t take it personally!

Spare a thought for parents of children unable to attend school due to anxiety/mental health reasons.

Your poor kids and poor you. I am so angry on your behalf!! I’ve had similar but nothing like you. How fucking dare they question you? I think you need to get a GP letter and be firm when they speak to you. Don’t let them put words in your mouth or bully you. Document illnesses with photos. I took a photo of the thermometer next to my child‘s obscured face. Kick back but be polite.

We don’t have to call at all. DD had chicken pox last year in Reception. I emailed on the Sunday to say she wouldn’t be in the next day, got a reply from the office manager to wish her well a couple of days later and I sent her back in when she was well. Chicken pox ripped through the whole school, attendance was below 50% for weeks and no one gave us any hassle.

I am sorry OP but she has missed a lot of school. And it doesn’t sound like your GP supplied you with medical certificates to send to school to back up those long term periods. So that is going to bring up massive safeguarding alarms.

Your DS school doesn’t have the rights to you daughters medical records, but they can say ask the GP to corroborate any absence, the GP doesn’t have to give an answer to the school - but if they see they haven’t approved any that will flag up as a safeguarding concern

You couldn't swallow your own saliva?! Wowee... What were you doing with it then 🤣🤣🤣

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I've had the GP asking exactly this when one of my dc's has had a bad illness. It's not safeguarding flagged by the school, it's entirely concern for you and the situation to make sure that you are able to care for them (and other dc) appropriately.

First time I had a baby at home and a rapidly going downhill 8yo with antibiotic resistant pneumonia, and dh was doing a lot of working away due to a project he was on, and it was summer holidays so all children at home. So they talked things through with me, with options etc to make sure that all was as easy as possible for all of us.
Having explained why it was difficult, the GP suggested rather than bringing the 8yo into the surgery twice a day for testing, or the normal option would have been admitting her, he'd pop by first thing in the morning, and then at lunch time and phone to see if I thought she needed checking in the evening, which saved me bundling 3 dc to the surgery each time.
So by being honest they worked with me to make things easier.

Spitting a lot. Crying in pain as you do swallow

I've had the same. It's awful.

This is the future of this country? North Korean

Of course it's the school. Most schools aren't calling parents of a child under the age of 5 every day when they've been told she's in hospital.

If you read newspaper reports about children who have been abused and killed, they all have really bad school attendance. Once you dip below a certain amount, it raises concerns. Most abusers have perfectly reasonable excuses for their child being off. I understand why you are upset about it but with attendance that low you will be flagged as a potential safeguarding risk. Nothing anyone says on her will change that.

Yes, the last time someone made accusation of why I spend too much time in school instead seeing the nurse ( medical boarding school ), it was the communist leaders telling the matron that the Party needs me at school, the Matron telling the party leader to fuck off under her breath and leave the kid alone to have some lunch in peace and take her meds

This thread is ridiculously dramatic. A few phone calls from the school = North Korea 🤣🤣🤣

The school has a duty of care. Removing a child from a school setting can be a sign of abuse and they need to check all is well. Abusers manipulate and hide things and ensuring your version is a true and accurate reflection of a situation could save a child that is being abused.
Dont take it personally

a bit unclear, but imagine another country under communism. Even that was not that bad and I laughed my heart out at their exchanges. Here the government officials who have not got any clue what child's health is, make the parents cry. That is worse that what I have seen under communism

I’ve had tonsillitis turn into quinsy and it’s awful. And no, you can’t swallow your own saliva. When I was hospitalised with it they kept having to use suction to clear my mouth. It can actually be fatal, but you crack on with the laughing emojis.

It does seem a lot of things going on in one year for the poor mite.. ruptured ear drum, ear infection, chicken pox and tonsillitis. Don't you have any documents from hospital for these things to show the school. I can see why they have raised eyebrows at this but can easily be proved no?

laughing at people who could not swallow with laughing emojis is toxic and evil. I have had many throat and lung infections in my life which made it difficult also. Also saved my own daughter of choking many times, she had other issues. People on this site are vile