School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

MsTada Thank you for taking the time to write your kind post. Yes, that is what upset me really as it is unfair as she’s been seen by medical professionals throughout. We have been to 2 different GPs over the last week and they both mentioned school so I assumed it is put on her record permanently? Thank you for your reassurance x

I would be making a formal complaint. I would not rest until they apologised and promised not to behave in this way again. They are actually putting children who are unwell at risk of neglect. It’s totally unacceptable.

This country is MENTAL. Let’s all write to our MPs, protest to Education Sec.

you want us to do this because a school is checking a child isn’t being abused? No thanks. If the ops child is genuinely ill then the doctor can clear it up. But even the doctor is asking if everything is ok at home she states, so…maybe everytbjng is, but someone needs to check.

have you actually seen the story of Sara Sheriff @AMonkeysUncle

Thank you for the supportive replies.

Just to add, whenever she has been off school she has always seen a medical professional. Whenever there has been an absence it is corroborated with a visit to GP/A&E...
Every single instance.
so it’s not just me keeping her off.
school have been sent proof. They saw her chickenpox.

they KNOW there is no safeguarding issue
on the “safeguarding” home visits, they are giving us attendance warning letters. It’s nothing to do with safeguarding. It is harassment about attendance figures.

I disagree. It’s not annoying an adult, in our case it’s distressing a family. And also, it signals to children that it’s not ok to be unwell or have a medical condition that singles you out. So children might then fake wellness and hide symptoms. My child is anxious when they get sick and they don’t want to be off. Sorry, I want my colleagues to be off when they’re sick, it’s not good to come in, for them or anyone else! Schools aren’t social workers.

People are mentioning some awful cases, but whilst sad they aren’t linked.
See chicken pox Monday? Seeing it again on Tuesday and Wednesday doesn’t change the picture.
In hospital? Well, they are safeguarded well whilst there, no need to call back. Just wish well.
This kind of heavy handedness is the reverse of safeguarding. So many children with chronic illnesses or needs end up off rolled because of their mental health or physical health at a time when they need support because their parents feel cornered and scared of fines.
I’ve seen many kids withdrawn from school as parents avoid fines or simply crack under the pressure. It’s half the bloody home Education community lately, kids who have needs, parents who want them in school, but get hounded so much they leave.

What is wrong with you?

We have been to 2 different GPs over the last week and they both mentioned school

did you ask them why? If I understand the GP is asking you why she’s not at school?

I remember many years ago now, when I was in year 4, I had a really bad case of chicken pox, I had also previously had tonsillitis and had been pretty unwell with it (I get it chronically) not too long prior to the pox.
I remember the school sending my parents threatening letters about my attendance and checking up on us via phone and email ( but not in person thankfully) for the entire duration of the illness.
It is awful. They should NOT do this. I understand visiting for long term absence if no doctors note or professional communications as to why they are off. However when it is clear and evident said child/children are unwell, and evidence presented they are visiting the GP, or the hospital there is absolutely no excuse!
It's awful and I really sympathise with you OP, but it's certainly not a new thing sadly.

Not really... Most children never get hospitalised in their whole childhood but those who do are likely to be several times due to underlying conditions.
Chickenpox lowers the immune system for several weeks so getting something else bad straight after is entirely normal.
It's not just random chance that determines whether a child gets badly affected with common viruses.
And it's definitely harrassment to phone daily when a child is in hospital and to ask that they return to school even though still unwell, repeatedly visit the home etc.

Sometimes, kids/parents have really really bad luck in terms of illness and when it’s relentless like this it’s bloody hard. If you’re a parent who’s had fairly healthy kids then well done you.
I had 2 of my children during lockdown, which meant they weren’t exposed to anything for the first year and then bam, every illness under the sun! OP isn’t talking about any rare diseases here, tonsillitis can be AWFUL, hence why it sometimes requires an operation. Chicken Pox is horrible, ear issues are horrible.
it must be very stressful for you OP. Maybe you could set up a meeting with the school?

Wow, this is nothing but harrassment, i've heard so many stories like this lately. It was bad enough when my children were in school, but it's really ramped up the last few years. Makes me see exactly why my daughter is going to homeschool my granddaughter as she has cerebral palsy and other brain issues.

My dgc got comments after genuine illness., she was 3 and legally not school age. Think it is getting beyond ridiculous

@Righteouspuppy I think it’s likely you don’t have kids in school right now. Social problems exist but if a parent is clear in their communication then in most cases, trust needs to be involved, as in the case in point here. The child you mention was known to social services and is unconnected to this.

My dgc got comments after genuine illness., she was 3 and legally not school age. Think it is getting beyond ridiculous

from who? She wasn’t at school!

Yup. And last year, she was four and in Reception.

I think it’s likely you don’t think you have kids in school right now

eh? What does that mean.

Chickenpox significantly weaken some people's immune system for a long time, so yes bad chickenpox have a bigger than average chance to be followed by another bad illness soon.

Calling every day while the child is hospitalised isn't making anyone safer, so yes, it can be seen as harassment.

Your logic is worth some vomiting emojis in my opinion.

NHS guidance is to wait until the spots have become scabs usually 5 days not “until the scabs have healed” . That would take much longer . Was this partly why she was off for so long ?

It's got to this point because you've allowed them to carry on like this. I've heard of other people being harassed when their kids are in hospital. But I said why on earth would you answer the phone to them in that situation. Just blank the life out of them and say you don't answer to withheld numbers. Kids have times in early years where they seem to be always ill. You've kept them updated and they've taken it too far. It's like a form of bullying from them. As I said you've allowed the schools behaviour to get to this instead of setting firm boundaries.

Edited. Forgiving soul?

Ridiculous and completely unnecessary. They may have targets they have to achieve, and obviously a safeguarding role to check where children are if they are absent, but that approach is batshit. Coming to your house is unacceptable unless they have genuine safeguarding concerns. My children are at two primaries and neither is anywhere near as strict as that.

I find overzealous attendance targeting completely unacceptable - children, and adults for that matter, are ‘allowed’ to be unwell and recover from their illness. Nothing good, physical or mental, comes from denying time off school for this.

Good luck OP. Thank you for raising awareness of this increasing problem in schools. I feel for you, we are ten years on you but this is awful to be treated like this at a vulnerable time in your lives.

There's in between options though, aren't there. It's not a choice between doing absolutely nothing for 4 months and asking a parent to send a child with chicken pox or tonsillitis to school every single day.

"well done on the school for potentially saving a child’s life" 😂sure, it was all down to the attendance officer for saving this child's life, not the doctors at the hospital that cared for her 🙄

Pretty sure this mum and her GP have got the child's medical situation in hand, if anything, the school have put her health at risk. Didn't you read about her hearing loss due to the school forcing her back AGAINST doctor's orders?