School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

It’s very unusual for a 4 year old to be hospitalised for chicken pox and something else (you’ve not said) and tonsillitis AND have a burst ear drum. In one term. I’m not surprised they are worried as it is a safeguarding issue. If the illnesses are genuine then you have nothing to worry about but after cases such as Sara Sheriff I can’t be upset about a school being diligent about a young child apparently suffering so much illness.

That's quinsy..not tonsillitis..the OP sounds very overdramatic about everything. Tonsillitis can make it very difficult and painful to swallow but it would be extremely rare to literally not be able to swallow any saliva at all with tonsillitis. Just like it would be extremely rare to be hospitalised with chickenpox aged 5, but the OP thinks this is normal.

It's the same in my daughter's school unfortunately!

Anytime children are off you are to ring the office by 10am latest, if you don't ring, they call you, if you don't pick up they come knocking for a welfare check! Not happened to me as I always ring at 8.50am soon as I know my child is off and unwell. Although, it is a good thing for safeguarding, the whole attendance stress is a joke! I've had an attendance meeting myself last year because she kept getting sick and her attendance dropped to 82% and our school it has to be 95% or over. It is stressful though, even with doctors proof they are on your backs sending letters to make the school's attendance look good! Don't worry too much, like you said you have proof.

I was hospitalised due to tonsillitis as a kid. I almost died!

I don’t see why that’s so funny? The emojis show lack of critical thinking more than just “dark humour”.

Agree with this - that is a hell of a lot of time off and schools are told that such low attendance can be a safeguarding red flag.

Exactly

I bet half these "I would withdraw my child, they're so interfering" are the same people who cry out "but why did no one do anything?" when a neglected child ends up dead

The safeguarding lead probably just completed the safeguarding training. Some of the case studies are very disturbing.
I also laughed at the idea that this is the same as living in North Korea. You should read something written by someone who has escaped from there.

Yet many thousands of children are home schooled without any checks because it's the parents' right to withdraw from the education system. That's the thing I find really shocking - but thousands of Mumsnetters will defend their right to do this without anyone looking out for their children. Doubtless some of them are receiving a good enough education, but many will not have social contacts and some will be receiving a pretty rubbish excuse for an education.

I have had the same with tonsillitis. It was awful and i lost so much weight. Couldn't even swallow saliva. I was just over 7 stone at 5 foot 8 by the end if it.

You are doing great, doing what you're doing, which is what's best for your child. Try and tune the rest out as much as possible. Maybe block the schools number, when your daughter is off? If they call social services and they do a welfare check, what's going to happen? They'll come over and see that she's ill and being well cared for 🤷‍♀️ Really shitty that the school are like that though, it isn't okay and I'm not surprised you are upset x

@1993baby my DC had a few years like this and I did receive some good tips from the consultant

1. children won’t be well unless their tummies are well. They need probiotics which will help them build their immunity. Apparently they heal inside out. Boots have some which are strawberry flavoured! www.boots.com/boots-good-gut-live-friendly-bacteria-kids-30-chewable-tablets-10269388

2. washing uniform daily - another piece of advice from my consultant

Hope that helps!

This is ridiculous from the school, my daughter is 12 and had a week in hospital and then a few days at home to recover and I didn't get a single phone call from the school, I received a generic letter a few weeks later about attendance but I chucked it and never heard a single thing after that, and this is a secondary school!

It’s annoying that they are hassling you but their safeguarding lead obviously takes absence seriously. But at 4 they pick up all the germs. They should not have been calling you when she was so poorly in hospital. My children are older than yours but only left primary a few years ago and I did not ever receive this kind of response if they were off. Maybe look for another school that isn’t so ott. However you only have to look at children on the news who have been failed by safeguarding teams schools, health, social services where they have slipped through the net with tragic outcomes.

Schools are following guidance. Schools and LA’s are under intense DfE scrutiny for improving attendance rates, which have dropped significantly since COVIID.

There are triggers in the guidance for 15 days absence caused by illness, even 15 days that are not consecutive.

Did you read the guidance?

The OP can challenge the school if she has the facts and can show where the school is not following guidance. She can't challenge the school if she is unaware of the correct information.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at how ridiculous the OP is. The whole situation sounds mad. Everything that's happened is the worst case ever, but the OP thinks this is normal and can't understand why the school may be worried?! Yes, you can be admitted to hospital with tonsillitis, as you were and I'm sorry that happened to you..but it is rare. Again... You can be admitted to hospital with chickenpox... But this is also rare. These two thinks happening back to back?? Surely the school is right to check things are ok? But no,.the OP thinks it's a personal attack,."harassment", and has sought legal advice. That is worth some laughing emojis in my opinion.

They turned up at your house? Are they mental?

No, but I imagine they are worried about her child and rightly so.

Not unusual. I had septic tonsillitis when I was 24 and couldn't swallow my saliva. I had to have emergency IV antibiotics as my airways were closing up with the inflammation.

The OP and some of the advice being given out on this thread is absolute lunacy.

Some of the evidence being given at the moment in the Sara Sharif case is relevant here. There is a text exchange between her step mother and another family member saying something along the lines of ‘he beat her up and I can’t send her to school like this’. Schools have daily contact with children and are one of the better placed agencies to pick up abuse. A high level of absence is one of the causes for concern.

They are safeguarding your child. I am not sure why you are so angry about that.

Cruel!!

I've had tonsillitis as a grown adult and spat into an old jug!

Tonsils have now been removed thank goodness.

If you have never been this ill you are surely not qualified to comment.

It's not a new thing for schools to do house checks on unauthorised absence

And if OP isn't calling in each day when required to do so, then it's unauthorised

Would have thought this was ott, however have literally just read about little Sara Sharif and if her school was as vigilant as yours she might still be alive today. She had been off 4 months and school hadn’t acted.
Schools do have a duty of care for all children and even though they know how kids get ill, they have to follow their procedures.

My child attended school and had no support for either the medical issues or the SEN. We home ed because my child was suffering from inappropriate education. Self harm and mental health issues caused by school.
I believe OP because we also got pressure from school on attendance. But despite attendance being 'important' for educational outcomes my child didn't receive the legally required tutor while recovering from major hospital care. They didn't receive any reasonable adjustments they need to be able to progress. I do not believe this level of pressure in parents is anything to do with safeguarding and educational achievement. It is purely be abuse it is easier to attack us than go after the families where the child is at actual risk.
M child and OP child is seen by professionals regularly (doctors, hospitals, and other) they are not hidden

I'm sorry this happened to you, but just because it happened to you does not mean it's normal. Most cases of tonsillitis are mild.

I work in a GP surgery. I'm not clinical (just a secretary), but I attend our safeguarding meetings and complete our child protection conference reports.

It's not unusual for a school to contact the GP surgery if they have concerns about attendance. The GP would then just look at the records to make sure that the reasons given to school for the absence lined up with the information in the medical records. The only time they'd likely progress this as a safeguarding issue would be if things didn't add up - for example, if a parent had told the school that a child was poorly with asthma, but the child didn't have asthma - or if a parent had told the school that they'd been to the GP surgery 5 times over the past few months, but had never actually taken the child to the GP surgery.

I just wanted to put your mind at rest because you seemed upset that there might be notes about safeguarding concerns on her GP records - it's far more likely that the call from school has been recorded/noted, along with a explanation from the GP that her absences line up with her illnesses/attendances at the GP surgery. I wouldn't worry.

I agree that the school sounds ridiculously heavy handed though, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with that alongside trying to look after a poorly child.