School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

But if op's daughter was in hospital surely that's different? And if they've been round once and seen a very spotty child with chicken pox you'd think that would satisfy them that she's not making it up

What I'm getting a little confused by (maybe I've missed an update) is the fact that the GPs have her medical records and can verify each case as being genuine, so why aren't they?

The school are obviously safeguarding for the reasons other PPs have said.

Apologies if I've missed something.

We had issues with DS's attendance when he was 4 and in reception, he is autistic so when unwell his behaviour would be unmanageable and the school would send him home even if he didn't have a fever. He also had several chest infections.

You should have a discharge letter from the hospital admissions as evidence, the GP can provide a letter or confirmation that your child has seen a GP for illness and that is why your child was not in for the other occasions. It is not unusual for children to have a weakened immune system if they have been very unwell previously with another infection. It takes time for the body to recover.

If it persists speak to the local authority attendance officer. We did this when we got letters about DS's attendance and when they understood about the situation and his extra needs they were more understanding.

People need to calm down in these comments uncalled for!

But wouldn’t you simply think “….hang on her child seems to have an underlying health issue here?”

Her attendance is bad. Yes. But this is the UK and children don’t get medical attention / hospitalised unless they’re actually unwell.

If OP withheld a hospital stay then she could be in trouble with SS for doing that as well.

I don’t know what the answer is tbh.

Checks are made on EHE.
LA’s serve School Attendance Orders, if education is deemed unsuitable or information isn't provided.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/66bf6d2bdcb0757928e5bd47/Elective_home_education_departmental_guidance_for_local_authorities.pdf

It sounds ridiculous

I would be getting fed up with this

Hope your dd is ok

The first time I had tonsillitis I was spitting into a bucket. I have never been so unwell, I was on the verge of being admitted for dehydration. Far more painful than my c section!

Wow! My son hasn’t been able to attend school since the end of February. I’d love to see their reaction to that.

Thankfully, his school have been amazing. They call ever so often for updates, no harassment whatsoever.

Fair enough, I didn't know this was a thing (don't live in England).

Schools have policies and procedures that they are legally required to follow regarding attendance and safeguarding.

I'm sorry that you feel harassed, but they have to do this in the interest of keeping the children safe. If they don't they could end up missing something devastating, as has been shown in various news stories recently.

But quinsy is one of the most common complications with tonsillitis and the same thing can happen with that so to mock the poster for not swallowing her saliva is a bit silly.

That's what happens when people think the government is benevolent. Suddenly they own your children.

Didn't take long for a comment like this to appear. Love the way a thread about a school child always has someone turning it into an anti-home education thread. And I say "home education", as that is the legal term in the UK, not "home schooled". They are two different things, and if you knew more about it, you'd know that.

You keep on sharing those ignorant, judgemental comments about a community you know little about. If you care to look at the stats, children who attend school are much more likely to be being abused or neglected, yet home educated families are much more likely to be (maliciously) reported to Social Care.

Why has she been so repeatedly ill op? Is this being investigated? Why has the doctor not just qualified the illnesses to the school? Did you not have the discharge forms from the hospital?

well done on the school for potentially saving a child’s life

It isn't many years ago that PP’s on here and the wider community were gunning for school staff and social workers who believed the parents of Arthur Labinjo-Hughes and failed to make home visits and checks when they claimed he was ill.

Sadly, with devastating consequences.

The fact they saw your dd’s weeping chickenpox and suggested sending her back to school while still contagious is appaulling. I have heard similar stories from local schools here.
I would be writing the attendance officer a formal letter asking why they would suggest this when it against NHS advice and school policy.

Thing is though I think it can be pretty normal to have a bad period where it feels like a child gets everything going- one thing can throw off their immune system and make them more likely to get something else. Kids get sick and while schools have important safeguarding responsibilities there has to be some common sense that children will from time to time have bad bouts of illness.

Even from my own experience

child 1: had a nasty kidney infection requiring hospitalisation, not long after recovery got bronchiolitis and a secondary lung infection requiring hospitalisation.

Child 2: bad vomiting bug where by day 5 she was on a fluid diary and being closely monitored by gp to avoid hospitalisation. Got another nasty bug with similar severity 3 weeks later and was again very close to an admission.

In both these cases, they were below school age but it was a bloody nightmare. I was just fortunate to have been on maternity leave but if they were school age they’d have been off a lot in both cases.

With both children they’ve had a week off with chicken pox but got it at nursery age. All of the kids I know that had it older at school age seemed to get it much worse and were off for 5-10 days.

My older one has a hideous chest infection last year that coincided with the Easter holidays. She spent 9 solid days too poorly to leave the house. If that had coincided with school we’d have been told off no doubt.

Schools get it wrong if they check up on absent children
Schools get it wrong if they don't check up on absent children.

In the first case they might annoy an adult

In the second case they might save a child's life.

Instead of seeing this as intrusive, view it as care for your child.

You and school both want your child to be safe and well.

You might think you are funny but you aren't really. Just downright nasty. I once had the most horrendous sore throat. It was so so painful I also couldn't swallow my own saliva. I had to spit it down the loo. And of course my mouth kept filling up with said saliva. It was exhausting. Dh got me a liquid from the chemist to gargle with which was basically a liquid anesthetic to ease the pain. Never had such a sore throat since thank goodness.
An aunt of mine once got a quinsy from tonsillitis it was very serious and she was very ill.

Sorry your child has been so unwell with her various ailments. But the reality this isn't the norm and it will raise concerns. It really is just as case of better safe than sorry

As annoying as it may seem I am glad that the school is taking the appropriate steps it should with regard to safeguarding and I would be pleased to know that a child in your area isn't going to end up dead like recent cases in the news because noone bothered to follow up.

I'd personally change schools, that's not normal.

This is truly sickening that you were treated like this. What is wrong with this country? It’s time we wrote to our MPs about this harassment. I’ve been harassed this term and my daughter is on 100% attendance. It was based on last year (she is neurodivergent, sees a specialist, has orthodontist appointments you can’t do at weekends, and also, gets sick a lot!). They said ‘mental health’ is better when kids in school. No shit! Don’t they think we don’t know that! We would all rather our kids were well and we were at work and they were living their best lives! This country is MENTAL. Let’s all write to our MPs, protest to Education Sec.

I think their approach is better than a child simply going missing from school and then being in the news because they're being abused. They need to safeguard children and prolonged or repeated absence is a red flag.