To think that friends should always come before partners?

[HonestBrickSquid]

I value my friendships immensely and feel that friends should always take priority over romantic relationships. Is this a reasonable stance, or is it unfair to expect others to put their friends first?

Why would it be either or? And it depends on circumstances.
Yes I’d put friends before a new partner.
No I wouldn’t necessarily put friends before a husband, but really depends on what has happened.
Im in my 50s though.

If it had been written differently, I would assume otherwise, but the OP almost sounds like some who either needs to get their own partner, is maybe inexperienced with romantic feelings, or someone who's still very much in the closet and is grappling with resentment.

I like DP more. I actually want to live with him for a start, whereas friends are absolutely fine living in their own homes, thank you very much.

If he's planning on meeting his mates, he checks if there's anything he's needed/wanted for, I do the same - it's not asking for permission or laying down the law, it's just what you do when you actually like the person you're with (rather than have somebody who wants to keep you on a leash and only focused upon their wants).

If you're in a relationship where there's a rule that Mates Come First Always, you're just not that into him. And if you're the Mate that has her nose out of joint because you don't have first dibs on somebody, that's not fair on them.

My late DH was always my priority. 🤷‍♀️

But.. but... what about Zigg a Zigg ahhh?!!

I expect my partner to arrange my funeral if they outlive me and I hope to support them to the end if I outlive them. I am religious, and I would consider life partners in our religion to be as one. 'Soul of my soul'.

Friends before a casual boyfriend. DH of 10 years before anyone. And lots of grey area in between.
But in a healthy relationship, you shouldn't have to choose.

What the actual fuck? That sounds like some serious projection and the biggest reach I’ve ever seen.

I've had more friend breakups than partner breakups, and more friends than partners

Well exactly.
Some people go out every night with their mates, stop when they get a partner.
Some cancel all friend activities when they get a partner.

What's the meaning of prioritisation here I wanna know.

If friends are your 'support system' and you're spending hours with them every day.... That's very intense.

You sound very young op.

It's quite daft to have a single rule tbh.
It should be situation dependent.

There are times you'll prioritise your partner over your friends and times you'll prioritise your friends over your partner.

Oh I can't phone an ambulance for my partner because I'm heading out the door now for a coffee with my pals...

Adults normally have the ability to assess situations and juggle relationships so that everything is balanced.

I thinking something very similar to this.
I think your age and stage in life is going to impact your thoughts quite a lot.

So- your friend got a partner and doesn't see you as much?
At some point we find a partner we are really into and usually end up doing them more at the start. Then friends get jealous, rows happen & that's that.

Usually the week end is when we make time for friends & partners.

If you're married then obviously your husband is the priority, but unusual to have to choose. They aren't filling the same position.

When you are not in a long term committed relationship then it's important not to retreat from your friends of course.

Do* you have a partner, OP?
*
This

I would certainly prioritise my friends over a new relationship and continue to do do until such time as the guy had earned the right to equal priority by proving himself as supportive, caring etc as my friends. I would never drop friendships for relationships and while realistically a relationship means there's less time for friends I'd make certain I made some. Good friends are there before during and often after a partner.

This, except for parenting the children because we were childless but including the needs of elderly parents which was massively difficult .

@HonestBrickSquid how long have you been with your partner? Are you married? Have kids?

I think there's a big difference between not serious partner and husband. Yes DH is more important than my friends. But as others have said room for everyone!
A partner of less than a year or not serious I'd expect friends to be the priority but some people do disappear when they're in a relationship

If I've decided to bring children into this world with someone you can be damn sure that trumps any other relationship with any other adult human.

You think I should prioritise a friend over a DH who has stood by my side for the last 30 years, the DF of my 3DC? I spend many weeks at a time in hospital. He keeps home life as normal as possible for our family, despite working full time and never missing a day of visiting (the hospital is an hour from home). MN tells you of the dickheads but not the ones who deserve loyalty, until you know differently.
There's something very wrong with either your friends or partner if it has to be a choice.

Easily, my partner. Surely no one in a long-term, committed relationship would choose friends over partner.

Very young people I'd expect to say friends, over a casual new partner; no one else. Even then, people can meet their life partner young.

It's important to keep up with friends, but expecting to be prioritised over a partner sounds very immature.

I think I sort of understand what you are saying. I have a close friend, known her for 20 years and every time a new fella is on the scene she disappears off the radar
She was single for a long time and I'd see her at least once a month for a catch up - she's been in a relationship for the past 12 months and I have seen her 3 times. Once was by chance in town, once at a concert we'd bought tickets for prior to her new relationship and once a proper arranged meet-up
I've been married for years so I understand the shift in priorities but there is room for everyone xx