What is with the English, affairs, and divorce?

[BoundaryGirl3939]

Everyday when I visit this website I see a post about a husband having an affair, or a suspicion that he is cheating, or an irritation that he is getting to close to a female friend. I see mumsnet as an accurate description of what is going on in English society, and the levels of infidelity shock me.

I'm Irish, and believe me that the men here are not perfect. We have high levels of addiction (alcoholism) and dysfunction (anger management) but the infidelity is definitely not as commonplace (although it does take place but not as frequently). Yes, Irish marriages/relationships break up, and adults may get a second life partner after a relationship has died, but the actual 'cheating' is not as common and is scandalous if it does take place.

I find it shocking that an average man can contently sleep with another woman, and then go home to his wife and kids. My mind boggles that a woman can feel like she has a right to encroach on another womans husband and take a father from his family.

yeah, because infidelity and divorce doesn't happen in any other country, just England 🙄

What causes this to be more common in certain societies? I know many of the French have mistresses. Like wtf?

Ireland was very Catholic up until 30 years ago. Has the commitment to partnership/children remained stronger because divorce was not legalised until fairly recently?

It is common in Ireland. As in the rest of the world. I am not sure what relevance being English has to do with it?

It happens everywhere we are just less tolerant

Er what?! I very much doubt there are fewer affairs in Ireland. Fewer divorces, but more unhappy trapped wives maybe.

I said that it does happen here but it's not as common.

I see mumsnet as an accurate description of what is going on in English society,

That may just be your problem.

I'm Irish and I can safely say you're talking bollocks.

Also (and make sure you're sitting down now) not everyone on this forum is English 😲🤯

People don't tend to rush to relationship boards to talk about their happy marriages.

It's not a representative sample.

Or maybe there's an Irish social media relationships board where everyone posts seeking advice because their husband is so faithful and amazing?

But how do you know that infidelity is less common in Ireland? I imagine the reason you think it’s more common in UK is because most Mumsnet users are based there, and so their stories give an insight. But if there was an Irish Mumsnet you might find the same quantity of infidelity stories.

Ireland has about 1/10 the population on the UK. This site is more than just the UK, and it attracts a lot of people at their time of distress. So yes lots of women come here when they discover an affair.

But I also suspect you are young or naive if you don't think it happens in Ireland.

And 30 years ago I was shocked to see the small ads advertising for affairs when I lived in Chicago. Maybe people are better at hiding affairs in Ireland?

We're all really sexy in England and can't help ourselves. Soz.

Where are your stats?
Divorces may not be correlated with affairs. Some societies are more judgemental about divorce so will have a lower rate but doesn’t mean people are more faithful.

Infidelity has simply become the norm over the last 20-30 years.

Years ago, it was normal to be faithful.

Now it's normal to be unfaithful.

It's not something that appeals to me, I share my lover with nobody. Probably why i'm single though!

Sorry to burst your bubble - affairs happen all over the world, even in Ireland.

So nobody thinks the levels of affairs is remarkably high? There seems to be post after post about it on this site.

And here's thinking we English are supposed to be frigid. 🤔

You need to think a bit more logically

Population England 69m
Population Ireland 5m

So as a very rough calculation things are 14X more likely to happen in UK including posting on this forum

And you've DNA tested them all?

Or did they sign off with "I'm not Welsh, Scottish, Northern Irish or from any other country in the world. I am DEFINITELY English"?

That is because this site is a good source of advice. And full of women willing to give you a quite hard hitting but compassionate talking to.

People come on to this forum initially for help whether that's for potty training, weaning or relationship problems.

People generally don't post on forums when their life is going well so it really isn't an accurate view of English society at all, and ofcourse some of the posts are purely acts of fiction.

I do think being single isn't as stigmatised as it would be in Ireland or being a single parent. Divorce (or never being married) and having children has been quite normal in England for a few decades now.

What?! You mean you don't have to live in England and show proof of address when you sign up to EnglandMumsnet?

Confession: I'm not in England so I used a friend's address to apply for my mumsnet username. Every time there's a knock at the door I think I've been busted.

How would you know this?

I would imagine the only stat you can go off is divorce rate - is that it? Is it lower - but that doesn't mean they're not having affairs. It only means they're not divorcing. Which is often terrible for women - stuck in miserable situations.

I know people like to be anti English but you are reaching here. Any excuse to criticise us. 😂