What is with the English, affairs, and divorce?

[BoundaryGirl3939]

Everyday when I visit this website I see a post about a husband having an affair, or a suspicion that he is cheating, or an irritation that he is getting to close to a female friend. I see mumsnet as an accurate description of what is going on in English society, and the levels of infidelity shock me.

I'm Irish, and believe me that the men here are not perfect. We have high levels of addiction (alcoholism) and dysfunction (anger management) but the infidelity is definitely not as commonplace (although it does take place but not as frequently). Yes, Irish marriages/relationships break up, and adults may get a second life partner after a relationship has died, but the actual 'cheating' is not as common and is scandalous if it does take place.

I find it shocking that an average man can contently sleep with another woman, and then go home to his wife and kids. My mind boggles that a woman can feel like she has a right to encroach on another womans husband and take a father from his family.

No, but I do think we should reinstate the shame culture for people (men) who bugger off and don’t pay fairly for their children. Shame culture should be rife for them.

You just don't hear about it. We're very vocal here and if we're not happy people will know about it that includes affairs! Maybe it's just kept quiet there no.

I'd say that had a lot to do with it, yes! Basically, married couples had to endure no matter what unless they were granted an anullment, and they were much more difficult to get until recently, not to mention EXTREMELY expensive. Sure we don't know how much domestic violence there was, especially due to drink, which I'm sorry to say has always been a problem here. I wonder if there was less adultery because of societal disapproval, everyone would know you and what you were at, and with being so much more devout, there'd be far fewer people willing to be affair partners, nor even having sex before marriage, so adultery-inclined people wouldn't have as much opportunity to betray their spouse and family that way? Social media and phone apps have made it so much easier; that's how my X went about it, Snapchatting young ones who were either gullible or didn't care that a middle-aged man was highly likely to be married! They might even have known and not given a damn!
Thing's ain't what they used to be in Mother Ireland!

I'd say Ireland is more culturally catholic than people literally believe it.

You just repent and all's forgiven anyway, and an affair is low down on list.

Do you think Irish people have a different human brain to the English? Of course they cheat, it's just not as openly discussed.

@Seashellssanctuary it's not pedantic at all, and I didn't say you were confused. You were being ignorant.

If you give a figure for "England" which is actually for the UK, then respond to OP's thread about England by talking about the UK, it implies you think England is basically the significant part of the UK. Happens all the time on here.

My "input" was not intended for your benefit.

English Catholic here... in the community I'm in cheating and divorce are also less commonplace. Most of my friends are married and their parents for decades, and cheating (that we know of) and divorce are very rare and when it does happen, like you said, it's seen as very bad. It might well be to do with Catholicism and the guilt we feel doing anything wrong and also being in a community where it's unusual. But maybe also the example set by previous generations.

I’m fairness, no-one comes on here to ask if they are unreasonable for having a happy marriage or unreasonable not to have an affair. It’s a skewed view.

What a load of bs.

People are shagging around in every country.

My Irish ex husband had an affair and left me. I'm Scottish. Does this help?

I might start a thread about the fact that I don't think my husband is having an affair

I'm from an Irish family. Plenty of philanderers on mine and DH's sides of the family, male and female.

What is it about the Irish and their boozing?

What a silly thread this is.

@Seashellssanctuary , Not pedantic at all. It is an insult to use England as a name for GB or the UK. I am not English at all but I am British.
Your assumption was misguided.

LTB and go NC

This board isn't representative of the population, bc your not hearing from the people who aren't impacted by affairs. It doesn't give you any kind of statistic.

No, because Italy is also very Catholic, and another country where affairs are run-of-the-mill.

Go back to school and learn how statistics work.
HTH

People don't start threads about their happy marriages- its never going to be representative!

Lower divorce rates don't mean everyone is happy either HTH

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/infidelity-rates-by-country 33% have cheated in Ireland versus 36% in the UK. So the op is right but the difference isn't that big.

Human beings are more monogamous than most mammals but less monogamous than quite a lot of birds.

If it is different in Ireland for human beings, it's down to sociocultural factors.

That’s just men. English men are a particular breed, I’ll grant you that. They treat women like dirt, always have. It’s to the point that I refuse to ever date an English man, would never do that to myself 😂

But honestly, this is just men. They don’t think like we do, women don’t believe it until they feel it.

This seems very unpatriotic of him. Perhaps you should report him to Prevent?

Are you suggesting that the Irish are more closely linked to our birdy ancestors?

It's the same thing as saying "why are there so many children with autism". It's a forum so people will come here for help and support. It doesn't mean there is an unusually high number. You have to refer to actual statistics for that