In my view, which I bang on about at length, we do contrasting and conflicting things with children
We overinvest in 'emotions' and feelings and this adults children to a degree which is not in line with their stages of development quite often. Children are put on a pedestal. We prioritise emotions and feelings when really they can be quite unreliable as markers of what is going on for a person. Those same emotions and feelings must be minimised, so hunger must be minimised, boredom, frustration, anxiety, etc etc. If they're not minimised then they are pathologised to extreme proportions
At the same time, we infantilise children (and Im aware of the apparent contradiction in terms of me saying restrict social media!), we keep going on about their brains not having developed yet, they cant be left to do something on their own, they cant have part time jobs its too exhausting with school, they must have the same as their friends or carnage will ensue
I think the message for some children is that 'you're not ok, you're anxious, you're unsafe, the world is dangerous, you cant do this, you must be listened to above all others, you're special'
Those messages are contradictory and unhelpful and in some contexts, for some children will lead to a drive to fix themselves using dysfunctional methods.