Need a hand hold

[Imbluedalale]

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

Hi ChoccieCornflake,
Yes the security are actually ‘doormen’ because there is lots of parties there and it gets rowdy. One of the residents sons went there last year and he is an 18 year old lad and she said even he was scared and people were banging on his door all night and it’s full of piss heads 24 hours a day. There’s also no window in the room I was told. I just can’t go there knowing that 98% of the residents are men and not just men but ex prisoners, drunks and migrants xx

Massive hugs. is it worth calling the team back and mentioning the shower / disability aspect? I suspect, cynically, that something with legal weight behind it (ie disability discrimination) might get further with the council.

Can anyone at the place you're staying help at all @Imbluedalale ? I really feel for you and can't believe the council are saying it's OK. I agree with Choccie that it might help most to emphasise the disability side with the shower and lack of lift. Obviously the DV side should be just as important and valid but I'm not sure everyone thinks that way :(. Massive hugs, something has to come through for you xx.

Hi ChoccieCornflake,
They said I don’t necessary need to use the shower as long as there are water facilities which there are! So basically have a sink wash is what there telling me. I have just been told from one of the councillors that the MDT team are currently holding a big meeting about me as they are disgusted at where they have booked me into and they think it is completely inappropriate for my needs and also with the DV. It’s also a drug haven I’ve been told where most of the drug dealing happens in Doncaster . Also is used for lorry drivers and hookers so I’m very against going. If they can’t get me anywhere else I will just have to live on the streets because being in that hotel will absolutely send me over the edge xx

Hi RaspberryBeretxx,
I have told the council one of the main reasons it is unacceptable is because of the shower situation and they referred this but it has come back that I don’t necessary need to actually get in the shower as long as there is washing facilities . Also they don’t deem my fear of men to be a valid reason xx

So many many big hugs. I'm really glad the MDT team are doing something

I know this is extreme but is there a 24 hour supermarket you can at least go into tonight if necessary? Grab a bite to eat and just keep safe? I can find a Premier Inn in Doncaster but I have no idea if it’s near you and it’s very expensive for an accessible room. I don’t travel so I don’t know where to look but surely there must be somewhere cheap (ish!) that’s safe and nearby.

If need be, the waiting room at A&E can be a safe place to be overnight

That's good that the MDT team are having a big meeting. It is really shit that the council are doing this to you - I can't believe they don't think access to a bath/shower is a necessity! Let alone the type of place it is. Still rooting for you and crossing fingers that they can come up with something better.

Still no luck, the MDT team couldn’t come up with anything. The team here have been advocating for me but the home treatment team have said no I can’t stay longer and the council won’t listen to them as they are a charity (rethink) and they are unable to accept recommendations from charities. I was told before I came here that it wouldn’t affect my homeless case but it has I’ve also been told if I don’t accept the accommodation then I will be removed from the homeless list . I have to psychically check in and check out for audit purposes Aswell as for the council to see I have accepted the accommodation provided. I’m not going there so I will just have to go on the streets I’ve no other option xx

Oh god, I'm so sorry. Can you check in to that hotel, just to tick the box, and then go somewhere like A&E? Shelter are still open for phone calls (until 6pm) so it might be worth calling them

I also reckon the hotel, however grim, will be better than being on the streets. Once your room door is closed, you are safe, even if there is all manner of stuff going on outside. You can wedge something under the door if that makes you feel safer

That madness

Sorry pressed to soon!

I would grit your teeth and go for the one night, then start the fight again tomorrow....you shouldn't be in this position and I'm so sorry
There has to be somewhere better xx

I'm so sorry @Imbluedalale . I agree with @ChoccieCornflake , can you check in and then go somewhere safe? Or check in and see how it seems? Maybe with it being a Tuesday night it will be lighter on the stag dos although I know that's not the only issue. It's ridiculous that they expect you to go there - totally crazy, like they've found the worst place for you :(.

Phoenix domestic abuse charity is in Yorkshire, have you been in contact with them? Here's a page for their refuge: https://www.phoenixwomensaid.org.uk/women-refuge/

I’m sorry but I’m not going to that hotel everybody here and my support workers think it will be unsafe for me and also have a detrimental effect on my mental health. Is full of men and it’s loud and the thought of being in that close proximity with a lot of men makes me shake with fear. I feel like the work I have done here the last 10 days has been completely wiped out by this . My mental health team have even emailed the council to say it is really not suitable due to fleeing DV and it will significantly impact my mental health . The council have now left for the day. We have spoken to shelter and they have also emailed the council . I have to leave here soon and I will have nowhere to go I haven’t even got a coat! xx

Hugs. According to their website, the number for the council out of hours is this: 01302 737199.

the phone numbers for the MPs for Doncaster are here - they might also be worth a try: www.doncaster.gov.uk/services/the-council-democracy/mps-and-meps

Thank you ChoccieCornflake.
But i have given up .
Thank you for all your help I do appreciate you all . They won’t budge it’s that or nothing xx

Massive massive hugs. What are the people at the place you are at now proposing to do? I mean, I would not walk out the door unless someone actually makes you. Even if you sit in the kitchen / Reception / lounge all night!

Thank you ChoccieCornflake,
The people here said I need to leave as was meant to be gone by 12. They said there hands are tied and there’s nothing they can do. Council have asked me to stay at that hotel until another hotel becomes available but that could be weeks/months. All the refuges here are full. Only other option is a hotel in Bradford , I won’t be able to take that as I will have to make my own way there and will be unable to attend my appointments at Sheffield hospital nor receive ongoing support from my mental health team xx

You poor love, keep holding on, this is so scary for you! If you possibly could check in just to keep your place it might help, but no shame on you if that’s a step too far! Maybe go to A&E and report that faint, so you can get checked out, meds you need, and stay safe tonight? I can’t think of much else this late in the day. Do try the out of hours team!

Good idea from TealPoet - check in to the hotel (tick the box so the council can't say you're not homeless), and then go straight to A&E. I've been in A&E overnight (I was accompanying someone who was ill) and it was actually ok.

Maybe try the council out of hours, and see if they have somewhere in Sheffield near the hospital? Surely as Sheffield is big there must be somewhere with space

I’ve had to leave house I’m currently at a bus stop with my suitcase don’t know where I’ll go . Thank you to you all for all your help xx

Oh god, this is so awful. Can you go to A&E? It's here:

Doncaster Royal Infirmary, Armthorpe Rd, Doncaster DN2 5LT

I'm so sorry. Can you call the Phoenix DV refuge number 07932069153?