Need a hand hold

[Imbluedalale]

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

Good morning!! I'm thinking of you today, and have all my fingers crossed for a nice hotel for you and then a house as soon as possible! You are so wise, you really are. This is just so awe-inspiring:

"I’ve just accepted that at the moment I have no control of my life or where I’ll end up and that I’m going to feel really unsettled for a while but this path I’m walking on means I’m closer each day to getting a home so I have to keep walking until I get there."

That, right there, is positivity, strength, and courage!!

Hi nornironlady,
Thank you very much for your kind words.
I’m just on hold to the council , hopefully will know soon where I will be.
Tummy is in knots this morning but I know I have to do this there’s no other choice so I’m going to get through it and be as strong as I can be.
It’s been 3 weeks today since I’ve seen my children too , I miss them desperately more than I ever thought possible. But I keep saying to myself that today I’m a day nearer than yesterday to seeing them and that helps xx

Thinking of you today @Imbluedalale, hoping you get a good result with the council and they provide a decent hotel for you. We are all here rooting for you. Today is one step closer to getting your new house.
Glad you managed to sleep some last night. Once you have your meds, hopefully you will sleep better. Sending hugs 🌺

Hi Ruralretreating,
How are you today?
I’m doing ok thank you. Just trying to stay resilient as much as I can. It’s the not knowing that’s the worst , as soon as I know I can try and get my head round it.
Thank you for the strength and luck it really means a lot.
Im hoping a house comes up soon too and not having to live out of a suitcase. Still on hold to the council hopefully will get sorted soon xx

Thank you RaspberryBeretxx,
I hope you enjoy your coffee meeting.
Thank you for checking in on me that’s very kind and thoughtful, thank you 🙏
Yes I’ve felt ok since I fainted I’m putting it down to lack of sleep too but I will get it checked out if it happens again.
I hope you have a lovely day xx

Glad you’re feeling ok in terms of the fainting. You’re doing so well with taking things a day at a time and I can’t imagine how much you must be missing your children and I’m sure they’re hugely missing you too.

my boss is running 10 mins late and they brought me smarties with my coffee :).

wishing you all the luck in the world, you deserve it 💕

Good morning ChoccieCornflake,
How are you today?
Thank you very much for thinking of me and for your lovely , kind words.
All these lovely supportive messages are helping me so much right now I can never thank you enough and I mean that from the very bottom of my heart.
And I like that word ‘wise’ I’m going to add it to my nice list, thank you 🙏
So I’ve just been on hold to the council and whilst I was on hold Andrew from the homeless team called me and I put my call on hold and answered he said he’s on it as I sent him email yesterday as he had day off. He said he is trying to sort me accommodation out as we speak so that’s a good sign. Just got to wait for an email or phone call to see where it will be xx

Hi AdmittowearingCrocs,
I hope your ok?
Thank you for your lovely , kind , thoughtful words and for being there for me during this difficult time.
One step closer ….keep walking …..
Thank you 🙏 and thank you for the hugs.
I hope you have a lovely day xx

RaspberryBeretxx that looks so good! What a nice way to keep in touch with your boss yet WFH!

Imbluedalale I hope you don’t have to wait on hold for too long. One thing my friends and I do to encourage one another is pair comforting scriptures with related pictures. I made one for you - let your special spoon remind you :)

RaspberryBeretxx,
That coffee looks absolutely amazing , I could drink something like that and with smarties ! I love chocolate (too much) I hope you enjoy it!
Thank you for believing in me it really does give me strength that I never knew I had and helps me try and get through the difficult times that I never thought I’d have to go through.
You all make me feel weightless in a world that has become so heavy xx

Awww that’s so lovely TealPoet,
Thank you very much . And what a good idea to pair them, you are very creative!
I hope today is a better day for you TealPoet, sending you a hug balloon filled with strength xx

You are indeed very wise, and also lovely! Proper, super, exceedingly lovely!

My day is going ok thanks! Working from home today, and I have two mugs of tea on my desk, as then I can get more tea drunk without having to walk to the kettle again. Not efficiency or wanting to avoid time out of work - just pure laziness! I reckon I could give sloths a run for their money!

I hope the council come through with a lovely hotel, and then house, for you very soon!

Thank you ChoccieCornflake.
Glad your day is going ok.
I love that you have two mugs of tea at your desk , to me that means you’re super organised, efficient and sensible! There’s no sloths around here lol 😂
My day isn’t going so great, I’ve had the council ring me back and they have put me in a hostel/hotel place. She wasn’t aware of my disability (partial paralysis) even though it’s on all my notes and I also have a letter I sent them from my oncologist regarding this and saying that careful consideration needs to be made where they put me. Anyway this hotel has no disabled rooms nor has a lift .
I have just spent time looking up the hotel and whilst I know I’m homeless and beggars can’t be choosers but it really really isn’t suitable for me. First off there’s no disabled rooms, the shower is a tiny shower and a lot of the reviews say the floor is super slippy and the doors on them are flimsy and fall on you . The hotel is used a lot of stag parties and people wanting to go for a piss up around Doncaster as it’s a cheap hotel . So a lot of men . Also it houses immigrants and is used as a halfway house for when male prisoners get released from prison so again a lot of men . Given I’ve just left a DV relationship that really isn’t ideal for me. Also there is no facilities nearby so I won’t be able to get food etc nor do they have any food facilities apart from a continental breakfast. People have stated you can’t get no sleep as people banging about and you can hear people when they walk past your door. It’s also filthy and people have stayed it’s infested with flies. There’s a lot of other things wrong with it too. I just know if I go there it’s going to have a massive detrimental effect on my mental health . I’ve just rang Andrew to say that this really isn’t ideal for me due to mental health , DV, cancer and mobility and he is going to look into it and call me back. What do I do if they can’t do anything?xx

Well done for delegating to Andrew, to get some professional input. I’m no expert but would think council have to make sure accommodation is suitable for your disability. Don’t panic yet.

@Imbluedalale I am really cross that your notes/history wasn’t read and the council think the placement is appropriate.
Could you contact Womens aid or speak with your your domestic abuse worker to see if you could go into a local Womens refuge? That would provide you with a more supportive environment.
Hope “Andrew” can sort aa better placement if not!

So sorry @Imbluedalale , that's really terrible of the council. Hopefully the fact that it is so blatantly unsuitable will work in your favour and Andrew will be able to help.

I also agree with PP who suggested Women's Aid. From Google, it looks like there are a couple of domestic abuse charities in Yorkshire/Doncaster who have refuges. I don't want to overwhelm you with links etc but just a suggestion if Andrew doesn't come through.

Thinking of you and sending you all the luck in the world to get a decent place.

@ChoccieCornflake love the 2 mugs of tea on the go at the same time! There was a "favourite mugs" thread on here a few days ago and someone linked some 1 pint mugs 😳.

Oh mate, this is the last thing you need! I really hope Andrew can sort this out. I also would assume the council have a duty to provide accommodation that is suitable. Hang on in there - it's going to be ok in the end.

Thank you Ruralretreating,
I’m not expecting 5star I know but not this , I won’t be able to get in the shower due to how small it is and I’ll be panicking all the time about all the men there. I know not all men are like ex but I’m still very uncomfortable around them until I get to know them. And I’m worried about my health with the damp and peeling paint. It’s just everything that could be wrong with it , is!
Im waiting to hear back off Andrew the woman I spoke to was quite abrupt and basically said ‘take it or leave it’ . I’m actually starting to think that being on the streets would be a better option for me xx

On a lighter note - if you get insulated mugs, your tea stays warm even if it takes you that bit longer to drink it 'cos you have twice the normal amount! Mind you, I will happing drink tea in all stages of heat from boiling to stone cold - no tea is safe from me :)

Hang on in there. They won't put you on the streets, and that would not be safe. Let Andrew see what he can do, and if no luck, there are the refuge links posted above. It's horrible, but it will be ok

Oh no, that’s dreadful! Please do advocate for yourself - that isn’t ’not ideal’, that’s completely unsuitable for your needs and they’re failing you on a protected characteristic (disability). If they take longer than today to sort it out is there a budget hotel or travelodge nearby that we could maybe get you into for a night or two?

Shelter may also be able to advise:

england.shelter.org.uk/get_help/helpline

Thank you AdmittowearingCrocs,
I feel cross too that somebody hasn’t bothered reading my notes. I have just heard back from the council and they have said that they deem it suitable accommodation for my needs. It’s called Primelodge Doncaster if you want to take a look and see for yourself xx

Blasted council! Has Andrew had any luck? Shelter (link above) might be able to advise, ie whether there is any way to make the council see it's not suitable.

The one good thing I took from those reviews was the presence of security. Not generally a good look on a hotel, but at least you know there is someone there to ensure everyone is safe.

Thank you for all the links I really appreciate it. I have spoken to my domestic abuse team and explained that the accommodation really isn’t suitable for me for a number of reasons the main one being lots of men there and they have said there is a waiting list for accommodation with them. They are suggesting I go there for the night to see how it is and then ring them tomorrow. But I can’t go there I’m shaking about the thought of it . I really don’t know what to do xx