Need a hand hold

[Imbluedalale]

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

Morning OP, hope you slept well and glad you’ve written the list!

Hiya! I hope you are having a good day! Your lovely words have brought happy tears to my eyes - again!

You know what - I was having a bit of an annoying morning (nothing major, just work colleagues not doing stuff they should), and I then I thought, I know, I'll come on here because talking to Imbluedalale is always so uplifting! Even with everything you are facing, you manage to make the world better for other people! Thank you!!

Hi OP, I think I've seen some of your threads before and always thought what a horribly hard situation you're in and how strong you're being. Sending a big hug .

I'm so glad you got to speak to your DD last night and wow on her £250 tip! That's amazing, she must have done a great job.

I have everything crossed for you on the houses you've bid on. It'll be your time soon. Can you order something small for your new home that will be your starting point, something to hold onto that you will have or use in your new home? Just a little ornament or a plant or a spatula even! Something physical and just for you so you can look at it and know things will get better.

Keep taking each day (or hour even) at a time. I now want to go and smell your favourite black tulip perfume, it sounds amazing!

Oh TealPoet….
What an absolutely lovely poem!
I’ve just read it to one of the councillors and she wants to write it down and laminate it and put it on the wall in the living room.

So just know that the poem you lovingly sent me is going to be read by so many other people that come and go here whom are in a crisis. How amazing is that!
And strangely I was speaking about this to my mental health nurse when she called me earlier about ‘thoughts’ she said I’m bound to feel bad right now , anybody would but just remember the bad thoughts are just that , ‘thoughts’ .
I said I feel like I’m wading through mud right now and she said you have to keep going and go right through the sticky mud to get to the other side .
I managed to get a little sleep just a few hours but didn’t drop off until 4am . I’ve been prescribed some sleeping medication a different one to before so hopefully they will work , I’m just working out how I can pick them up as the pharmacy doesn’t deliver and the staff said they can’t leave here so looking at seeing if Uber can fetch it for me xx

Hi Ruralretreating.
I hope you are having a good day?
I managed a few hours but was up most of night still . Hopefully with new medication I will be able to get some sleep tonight .
I’m just sat at the kitchen table having a cup of tea looking at the trees outside xx

Hi ChoccieCornflake.

Awww you are so lovely , thank you very much!

Are you ok? I hope your afternoon goes better than your morning .
Did you have anything else to eat last night or did you stick to the biscuits?
Im just having a cup of tea enjoying the views outside .
I spoke to my daughter earlier , she’s going to a Halloween party as a policewoman! I said what’s scary about that? 😂 xx

Hi RaspberryBeretxx.
Yes I have written on here before , before I was made homeless and struggling with everything.
I only came across MN when I was in hospital and since then it’s become my lifeline and I’ve made contact with so many lovely , wonderful people .

When I was speaking to one of the councillors last night she made a comment to me . She said ‘this is why I moved into this profession, to help people like you because it’s makes everything worthwhile’ how lovely is that .

I know my daughter has just had her first payslip , she’s only part time as she goes to college but she thinks she’s rich now lol 😂. The tips are all shared out between the staff but she still got £140 in tips on top of her wages which is brilliant.

I already have a few bits for when I get a house only small things like a blue wooden handmade crate for cleaning supplies and some smellies and a handmade light in a glass which is lovely. Oh and I’ve also got a wooden spoon ! It’s lovely actually (for a spoon). When I did my first Ocado order last week I got 15% off, free delivery and a free gift so I chose the spoon for when I get a house .
If anybody looks in my suitcase in my room I’m sure they will wonder why there’s a random wooden spoon in there lol 😂

You really need to try the Shay & Blue black tulip , I got is as a free sample at M&S once and I’ve never received as many compliments or have so many people asking me what perfume I was wearing . It lasts all day Aswell xx

Ah, that's lovely that you have a few bits ready for your house. Love the random wooden spoon!

Amazing for your DD's first pay and the £140 extra! She must be so thrilled to have her own money (and it may lessen her Dad's hold as she can earn her own money which is actually more satisfying than being given it).

The staff where you're staying sound really lovely 😍 and you deserve some care and help and kindness, it sounds like you've had precious little for too long.

I'm definitely looking for the perfume next time I'm in M&S!

Hi RaspberryBeretxx.
Ive added picture of the perfume so you know it’s the right one. You won’t be disappointed.
The staff really are lovely and I’ve surprised even myself today because I have just spent over an hour chatting to one of the other residents about anything and everything (the one whom I said if I wish anybody could get better t would be him) , I told him how lovely his family is and we even managed to laugh a few times. He’s welcomed me to join him to watch telly so I’m stepping right outside my comfort zone and going to watch some tv . Wish me luck 🍀 xx

Good luck and well done for being brave!

Yay you! That’s awesome 🤩

Sorry forgot to add xx

I’m back.
You know what , I’ve actually had a nice afternoon . Don’t get me wrong I still feel terrible and upset and everything else but for a few hours this afternoon I’ve managed to talk about other things and I’ve been able to laugh which I never thought I’d do again.
We had the tv on but we didn’t watch it we just talked, about everything really from how we got here to what we like on Netflix and then we had a conversation about what we like we on cheese and crackers lol 😂 it’s honestly been lovely. And I’m more positive than ever that I really want him to get better because he honestly deserves all the happiness in the world.
My sleeping medication won’t be available to be picked up from the pharmacy until tomorrow so hopefully tomorrow night i can have a nice sleep . Hope you all have a good evening xx

That’s so lovely! Being happy for a while doesn’t minimise or negate your trauma - it’s such a good thing. TWO people who truly deserve to get better and be happy, not just one :)

Love the photo, nature has such health benefits. Highlight of my day was lunchtime walk with dog. Also need a good sleep I think!

Oh that is fantastic, I am so glad you had such a lovely time! Thank you for asking me about my day - it was a bit meh, but to be honest hearing that you have had a good afternoon has made me happier too!

I am loving that you have a special spoon! I have a favourite desert spoon (it's lovely and curvy!) and my parents have favourite ones too. There is something superb about spoons!

You know what - I'm going to get some of that perfume too!! Shay and Blue are going to be like "what's going on, we're getting a massive rush on Black Tulip?!" 😀🌷

Thank you TealPoet.
You’re so kind!
I hope you have had a lovely day?
There’s a new resident here tonight she’s only a year younger than me and she is lovely .
Ive just been sat on the patio with her outside listening to the rain xx

Awww sounds lovely Ruralretreating.
Have you got any plans for the weekend?
I did a small Ocado order earlier today I was naughty and ordered a few treats and a box of biscuits to share with everyone. Also the nice resident whom I’ve been speaking to today mentioned he can’t wait to have a mince pie so I’ve ordered him some M&S mini mince pies so hopefully that will put a smile on his face xx

Hi ChoccieCornflake.
Sorry to hear you’ve had abit of a meh day , you should treat yourself with some biscuits !
Have you been upto anything this evening?
I was telling the man resident about my wooden spoon as was telling him about Ocado and he didn’t believe that I had a lovely wooden spoon in my suitcase so I went to get it and showed him and he said ‘now that is a lovely wooden spoon’ 😂
I’ve got to keep it forever now after all it’s with me through my worse time and if I get a new home I can open the drawer get my spoon out and say ‘we made it spoon’ 😂
You should definitely treat yourself to some black tulip! I should ask for commission 😂xx

There you go again - doing nice things to make other people happy and taking a sensible step to improve your own wellbeing! One day you’ll look back and marvel at yourself! I really wish you could stay longer where you are; it’s bringing out the best in you, but that said, I am CERTAIN you can keep going even somewhere else, and people here will still be with you.

I’m not having a good day to be honest. Between disability, physical illness, medicine side-effects and OCD being at a peak, it’s all going a bit pear-shaped! But I’ll be ok, and maybe tomorrow will be better :)

I hope you can get a bit of sleep. Lots of hugs for tonight.

You really are so kind and thoughtful to everyone. It really makes me smile. And I love the idea of your future self talking happily to the spoon. Enjoy those treats, and sharing them.
Not too much planned for the weekend, they always seem to get frittered away even when I try to insist on doing something. And home isn’t very relaxing. I do a hobby for an hour on Saturday mornings so that helps.

Awwww TealPoet.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re not having a good day . Just know your doing amazing and I think your amazing and a lovely person and anybody in your life is so very lucky to have someone like you.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you .
I like putting a smile on peoples faces whether it’s buying little treats , giving them a compliment or making them laugh.
The only thing I’m worried about is because I had an ok day yesterday and a good day today I’m expecting to have a bad day tomorrow or Sunday but I’m trying not to think about it too much.
I miss my children dreadfully but I know I will see them again soon when I’m feeling better and stronger and if ex doesn’t let me I will be stronger to fight for my right as their mum to see them xx

@Imbluedalale I have been following your threads and posts since your first cry for help and a handhold. I never cease to be amazed how strong, kind and caring you are, even when you are struggling. You are one amazing woman.
I love that you have your wooden spoon that is now part of your future and has never been in your ex’s house. It is a symbol of your new start and future home and every time you use it in your new home, you will remember how far you have come. Sending hugs 🤗

Thank you so much Ruralretreating.
What hobby do you do?
I like nice chilled weekends , I’m actually craving making a Sunday roast. And doing boring things like washing my children’s clothes or mopping the floor. It’s strange what you miss when it’s no longer there.
I’ve had a jacket potato for my lunch today and a tea cake for my dinner.
Im hoping to watch a film tomorrow if I’m having an ok day , we will see xx

Hi AdmittowearingCrocs.
How are you? It’s lovely to hear from you.
Awww thank you so much for your lovely words . I will add them to my ‘nice things about me’ list. Thank you 🙏
I know it sounds silly but when I look at my spoon it gives me hope for getting a house and being able to start again . I havnt got any furniture but I’ve got a spoon so that’s a start isn’t it ? 😂
I am going through the worst time of my life but I do appreciate what I do have right now even though I’ve got nothing material wise. I’ve got an amazing mental health team , amazing support from the council , my children are warm, fed and safe . I have met 2 lovely residents whom are lovely and not only that but I’ve found all of you guys who are giving me incredible support and making me believe that things will get better.
I found out today that this place is funded by the charity ‘Rethink’ but it costs so much money for a resident like me to stay here so when I leave this place it’s going to be my charity of choice and I will be popping back one day with bags of toiletries and necessities for residents because it may have well saved my life xx