Does anyone else feel this way about the education system in the uk?

[Greengreenga]

My DH was privately educated, I was not. We have one dc due to start school next September so the search for a school has begun. I have always been adamant that I do not want my child to go to a private school. I get that they are brilliant in many ways but I feel very politically strongly that our support should be with the state sector. I want my child to know real people and not the top tiny percent of privilege.

Anyway… we have now looked at 5 of the closest state schools. I have been shocked. It’s not what I remember from my experience of school. These classes were chaos. In all of the schools we went to. The buildings were in an absolute state. Just the feel of the places was so awful. In two of the schools we looked at, supply teachers were in nearly all the classes, is this normal now? These were all rated outstanding bar one that was satisfactory. Three of them are meant to be really good options too, so I have no idea where it goes from there.

DH convinced me to look at the local private school. It’s so incredibly different on every level. There was calmness, order, focus. Although DH won’t push me to change my mind about private I know he would be over the moon if I agreed to it. I now feel so conflicted. I will also be hugely embarrassed if we chose to go private after everything negative I have very publicly said about the private sector for many years.

I feel shit about it. Am I jeprodisring our child’s future for my own moral compass to stay in tact? I don’t know anymore.

These principles are all very well but don't you want the best for your child?
Fwiw I did not thrive at my private achool but dd is excelling at our local comp. It really comes down to the individual child and school.
Tbh the private school you saw soumds lovely.

@CoffeeCantata o think reception can look like chaos if you're not used to 30 4 year olds in a room!

I'm saying I would be more concerned seeing a class of 4 year olds being quiet and sitting at their desks for the full day

It was the endless petty rules and infringements that drove me mad at our local state. Skirt too short - email. Watching boys have a fight - email. Late back from PE - email.

How the kids ever learned to be self sufficient I will never know.

Yes - totally agree!

I bet that was some kind of blanket policy imposed on teachers instead of letting them use their discretion about what to clamp down on. But then...if you had inconsistency, parents and students would moan about that. A teacher might judge that something could be let go from one student, but not from another and they might have a good reason for this - but perceived inconsistency would attract criticism.

Then it's down to you to make sure they mix with a wider group of people outside school 🤷‍♀️

This is according to the ONS data for household income.

'In the UK, 47% of people earn around the median household income, while 16% earn above average and 36% earn below average.'

That's an AI overview, so you might want to check the graphs.

I know nothing about SEND provision, except that every school we visited seemed to emphasise that on their open days, while barely mentioning academic achievement. No idea how good it is in practice, but the intentions and effort are clearly there.

Personally, I'd choose an independent school if I could afford it, because our local state schools aren't inspiring (London). I needed assurance that the state school we chose used sets and I'm assuming we'll need to save up to pay private tutors if necessary (DS got very high SATS results, so it's unlikely to be strictly necessary, but I worry that a school where so many children can't read fluently won't be teaching Shakespeare or Hardy any time soon!).

I agree with OP that it's an unethical system and no one should have to worry about their child's safety, happiness and education in a state school.

@Appletreepots Shakespeare is a key part of the national curriculum and I've visited 7 London state schools in the last 4 weeks and it's taught in every year group. They all had sets for maths and English too. Are there state schools in London who differ from this?

Your posts drip of hypocrisy.
You want your child to go to the local state schools to mix with “real people” and “real life” but now you have seen what that means in 5 local schools you realise that actually it is not good enough for your child and all your bleating on about morals prior to looking at schools was based on little or no knowledge of what your local schools are like - yet, you are judging parents/children who go to private school?

Wgar is your opinion of your DH who was privately educated? He has obviously managed to get on with you, who was state educated?

My kids went to a WONDERFUL state school. Sometimes lessons were really calm and quiet. Often they were not. And in Early Years only quiet for really brief periods (and even then several children could not stay quiet). My kids learned SO much about life from being at a school where expectations matched both age and need. So little ones were allowed to be noisy pretty often. Older ones, the expectations changed, but as there were always 3-6 children w EHCPs in each class, things were never quiet-quiet. What helps children to learn well isn’t necessarily what visiting parents value!

supply teachers aren’t ideal but it’s incredibly hard to recruit good people. Worth asking the HT of the school you like about why they have so many.

btw the private school kids I know have also had problems with very long term supply… this isn’t a problem that can be escaped.

Oh yes exploration is core to how small children learn. No parent or pedagog would ever say otherwise. Sitting in desks and rote learning should be a red flag (full stop but particularly for young children). But I think that’s very definitely different from a calm classroom and not at all what people mean when they say that’s what they want.

Calmness is a teacher in control, children able to listen and have space to do their learning. No sense of violence or things kicking off. It’s not code for not liking kids with EHCPs for goodness sake!

I can’t agree that chaotic noisy classrooms teach “life skills” because being educated shouldn’t be an act of endurance. If teachers are dealing with appalling behaviour that then it’s harder for them to make sure learning happens, and it’s harder to identify the children who need support and respond to those needs. For example the children in those classrooms that don’t have calm in their home lives, the children who have processing disorders so they need to concentrate especially hard to understand, children with disabilities that make them sensitive to ambient noise, children that find school work difficult so just don’t try when they can hide behind other people distracting them. And also those children - who after all are just children - who find it shocking and frightening hearing other 8 year olds call their teacher a “fucking bitch” or throwing staplers and chairs etc.

Agree, particularly with this: I can’t agree that chaotic noisy classrooms teach “life skills” because being educated shouldn’t be an act of endurance