To have a rule not to lend money?

[Autumnbum]

Long story short, I’m due to come into a lot of money I plan on paying off my mortgage but still should leave a considerable sum. I no longer work (early 40s) and this money is to last me the rest of my life. I won’t get a good pension because I only worked part time.
My best friends know about the fight we have been through and I haven’t disclosed the actual amount I will receive.
One of my friends is going through a nasty divorce, has stated that money is tight and she needs a new bathroom and kitchen, but then she’s dropped little comments here and there about how I could lend her money so she can sort her house out, this has all been said in jest and she hasn’t out right said can you lend me £££.
I have always believed that when you lend money it comes between you and ruins friendships, but then would she resent me for not even considering it? How do I say no without her resenting me?

Yanbu at all. Tell her the money is all earmarked and leave it at that.

I would shut any comments down and distance from them if I had to.
The absolute cheek of people these days - a new kitchen and bathroom would be thousands 😳

She does not "need" new kitchen bathroom. Nice to have.
Just say no.

I agree, don’t loan money to anyone. Put the money in an investment account and tell her it’s tied up for the next few years, she doesn’t need to know any more than that

To add - If she resents you then she isn’t a real friend and not a friend that you should have around anyway.

Stop telling people your financial business. Just make it plain that the money is being put into your pension for your future and you have no accesses to large sums of money.

I’ll always amazed by the cheek of people!

No.one needs a new kitchen.and bathroom, unless the others are not working. Even so that is not ur responsibility

Do not share your financial information with anyone, ever. Nothing good ever comes of it.

As for your friend, she is not your friend, so if she takes offence it is no great loss. Just tell her all the money is allocated, and leave it at that. Shit all conversations about money down straight away.

She’s not your friend she’s an absolute CF.

Shut down any further conversations around money and if she carries on hinting tell her it’s invested and can’t be accessed

Start a conversation about investments and bring into it that you've arranged to tie up all your money in a long term investment.

If you value your friendship... l3nding money is a receipe for disaster.

'Neither a borrower nor a lender be'...

If she knows you have come into money, it is likely she may never return this money back to you. She might think that you have so much, you won't miss a few thousand pounds. Of course if you don't mind potentially losing the money, then go ahead and lend to her.

This is an adage which many live by and it’s so true - it can ruin friendships and family. If she is a friend you can have a conversation and basically say what you have said as above. Might be “blunt” but she is being as blunt by suggesting it and to keep mentioning it - so she isn’t really joking. Next time she mentions it ( even in a jokey way ) you can say “ name, sorry but we don’t lend money to any of our family or friends. Unfortunately we have seen it before where it causes problems and puts a strain on relationships, even when the best of intentions were meant, so we won’t be able to help you”. If she resents you then she’s not the friend you thought she was

She’s stated about 10-12k!

Suggest she signs up for a genealogy site and see if she has any rich relatives....
I bloody hate spongers...

You could live another 50 years; I would find a way to shut her down. She’s not such a good friend if she thinks you should fund her home improvements - I’d probably see her less.

There’s no need at all to worry about her resenting you. If she drops hints, just say nothing and don’t react. If she asks outright, say no, I’m not going to be lending anyone money. If she then asks why, just repeat firmly, I’m not going to be lending anyone money.
Don’t make up excuses, don’t lie.
I agree with the PP who said that this “friend” is most likely after a “loan” that never gets paid back. Or she’d agree a repayment plan, then fail to pay, and do the sad face and “I can’t afford it this month”.

Similar situation here. Told my BIL who is always trying to cadge money (he's always been hopeless with money - champagne lifestyle on beer money) and that it's now all invested and I can't help him. I anticipate he'll be back before Xmas to try again as his DD has let slip he's apparently booked a fancy Xmas break for him and his new partner and maxed out his credit cards again. Tough luck!

If she asks you directly, suggest she takes out a bank loan or releases some of her equity. Otherwise, just ignore all the hints.

What a cheeky mare!

As others have said, she doesn't need either, she thinks she's entitled to some of your money.

Also agree with saying it's all tied up and you don't have any way of accessing it,

Similar thread on here earlier this year best advice I read was to tell your ‘friend’ you have seen a financial adviser and the money is locked tight. You have enough to access for your own day to day living but everything else is ring-fenced.
Your friend is a CF. If you give a lump sum now she will be back, and back, and back.
Of course you could have treated her here and there, but you don’t have to invest in her house.

YANBU at all OP

She doesn’t need a new bathroom and a new kitchen-she is a piss taker!

I never discuss my financial life with my friends. At least not now I’m older, I may have moaned about being skint until payday in my twenties.

I would never ask a friend to lend money for a new kitchen or bathroom wtaf?

why not suggest she sets up a "go fund me" page😂