To have a rule not to lend money?

[Autumnbum]

Long story short, I’m due to come into a lot of money I plan on paying off my mortgage but still should leave a considerable sum. I no longer work (early 40s) and this money is to last me the rest of my life. I won’t get a good pension because I only worked part time.
My best friends know about the fight we have been through and I haven’t disclosed the actual amount I will receive.
One of my friends is going through a nasty divorce, has stated that money is tight and she needs a new bathroom and kitchen, but then she’s dropped little comments here and there about how I could lend her money so she can sort her house out, this has all been said in jest and she hasn’t out right said can you lend me £££.
I have always believed that when you lend money it comes between you and ruins friendships, but then would she resent me for not even considering it? How do I say no without her resenting me?

If people need to borrow money they should get it from a bank. If the bank won't lend it to them then they are a probably high risk. No one high risk is getting my money.

I've turned down friends and family loads due to this rule. You need money, go to a bank who can assess if you can afford to pay it back!

Tell her to get a 0% credit card like normal people do

Very sensible OP. Reading between the lines I’m guessing this is some kind of compensation and perhaps you can’t work for the due to whatever it was awarded for.

Definitley say it’s invested and you only have assess to a small amount for day to day living expenses. Never discuss your with these friends again.

I lent a similar sum to a friend who was in dire straits at the time. She never attempted to pay it back, it poisoned the friendship and I still resent it. It's just a firm no. And she's absolutely a cheeky fucker!

Tell her every penny has been put into your pension.
Then, never discuss money around friends again.

Never lend money

Either you don't get it back, or you have to ask for it back

Bear in mind your supposed 'friend' has no problem at all making you feel awkward

Something that may help you with saying no ....

Imagine that they are asking for something totally impossible ... like instead of asking for £5k they ask you to buy them a house outright. Or ask you to pay for £15k plastic surgery!

The NO without an explanation should come forward more easily!

Fuck off anyone expecting you to pay for their house renovations.

She's a cheeky bitch and no friend of yours.

Instead, invest that money in some counselling for yourself to protect your boundaries.

Your financial security is way more important than her getting a new bathroom and kitchen. She can save up herself she wants those they are not essentials.

''Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but are you hinting that you want me give you some money for your kitchen/bathroom? I'm not in a position to give anyone money, as anything I do have will be for my own long term living expenses.''

Firstly you’re mad to have told her in the first place. We’ve had an inheritance recently and I’ve told no one, not a soul. People would have no idea whether we had a mortgage or not. No one knows if our next holiday is costing 5k or 15k.

I would shut this loan business down immediately. Next time she refers to it say ‘Ha ha! I wish! It’s not that much, once I pay the mortgage off there will be enough for a nice holiday and a new sofa then it’s gone! I’ll have spunked the lot, ha ha!

Sometimes a new kitchen or bathroom pretty much is a need, but that doesn't mean it's OPs responsibility.

Lending money is a very bad idea. Don’t be pressured, OP. I can’t believe someone would expect a friend to pay for a new kitchen and bathroom. This is utterly insane and the height of cheeky fuckery.

It's a good rule which I stick to too. Though if I were to come in to a large amount of money I would consider giving some to people I cared about who were in need. However, wanting a new bathroom and kitchen is not being in need!

Tell the cheeky cow it's in trust and only released in small amounts. You'll not hear then end of it!

You are 10,000% spot on.

Just say no, a nice closed answer which is harder for her to wriggle out of and don't disclose the amount as your finances are none of hers or any other nosey persons business. This will stop her sharing your very personal financial details with all and sundry, it also stops other greedy people treating you like a walking ATM with flashing lights coughing up the cash.

Money can destroy friendships, when the borrower can't be ar$€d paying it back so the $hit hits the fan when the lender ends up out of pocket. So you will be free of all that shenanigans if you make it none negotiable.

Stick to your guns
i guarantee as soon as you give it her you’ll never see her or get any money back ever
neither a borrower or lender be

No way.

Next time the money comes up in conversation (sounds like it will!) strongly imply that it's less than they've assumed and then say it's all gone into your pension and you're so glad to have it all tied up and sorted.

Never lend money you want back. That's my rule. I treat it as a gift and it's a bonus if it comes back. So you only lend what you're happy to lose. It's served me well!

Just no. Don't even tell them.

I only lend money to those in closest to and not for things like a house remodel 🙄

She doesn't 'need' a new bathroom and kitchen, she 'wants' a new bathroom and kitchen. Big difference!
If money is tight how will she be able to pay you back what is probably going to be thousands?
I've lent money twice in my life and neither time got it back. (I know, I should have learnt the first time!) In my experience people get quite shitty with you when you remind them to start paying you back, almost with a 'how dare you ask, you know I've got no money ' attitude.
In short, definitely don't lend it. Just say it's all spoken for/ tied up, if that makes it easier. If you lose them as a friend, they were never a friend to start with.

Say your money is tied up. End of
Play dumb if she questions you.
If she wants a new kitchen she can go to her bank, not you.