To have a rule not to lend money?

[Autumnbum]

Long story short, I’m due to come into a lot of money I plan on paying off my mortgage but still should leave a considerable sum. I no longer work (early 40s) and this money is to last me the rest of my life. I won’t get a good pension because I only worked part time.
My best friends know about the fight we have been through and I haven’t disclosed the actual amount I will receive.
One of my friends is going through a nasty divorce, has stated that money is tight and she needs a new bathroom and kitchen, but then she’s dropped little comments here and there about how I could lend her money so she can sort her house out, this has all been said in jest and she hasn’t out right said can you lend me £££.
I have always believed that when you lend money it comes between you and ruins friendships, but then would she resent me for not even considering it? How do I say no without her resenting me?

OP I think you are paying off the mortgage and investing a lot for your pension right meaning all your money will the tied up?

Tell her you had to invest in stamps for your pension, or you wouldn't get any.

Don’t do it. Saying it as a joke once then ha ha funny funny. But to say it again you need to say you are sorting your own kitchen and bathroom out first and investing the rest to see you through.

Amen… the only person who knows about my finances is my DH.

Nothing good can come of anyone else knowing about it.

If your friend needs a kitchen and bathroom, she can take a bank loan or save up for it like everyone else does. As someone who has lent a friend money, I can confirm you are unlikely to get it back so just don't go there. Don't discuss your financial situation with anyone, it is no one's business but yours. As for the friend who already knows, tell her you've bought an annuity for lifetime income so won't have any ready cash. Shut this down straight away. And if she isn't your friend after that, she was a pretty poor friend anyway and you've had a lucky escape.

Absolutely this! Don't disclose your financial status to anyone. Always downplay your situation even to family and friends. Some 'friends' may turn against you or see you as a financial resource.

You tell her no, and if she resents you for it you thank your lucky stars she showed her true colours. Unless you can afford to gift it, don’t lend it.

You are well within your rights to say no and to tell her that it's not something you are prepared to discuss.
She is a cheeky cow for even considering asking you

Shut it down now to avoid the conversation later just say something like …. It’s all already accounted for or I’m afraid I won’t be opening a bank of xxx.