To think it’s really hard to keep a child with a large appetite an appropriate weight

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I have 3 DCs. DC1 and DC2 have always had massive appetites, ate every single thing I put in front of them from the moment I weaned them, never refused anything at nursery, never lost their appetites even when sick. DC1 didn’t eat anything remotely unhealthy until she was three, but by that time was quite a chunk (99th centile BMI). DC2 we did baby led weaning with due to the health advice that babies will not overeat if they feed themselves (which we found not to be true in her case). Both DC1 and 2 started school overweight, but DC1 has turned out to have quite a talent for sport which she plays twice per day everyday and now aged 9 is a beanpole.

DC2 aged 5 however could not be more different, she’s naturally very inactive and struggles with sport (although reluctantly attends some sports clubs for exercise). She is always hungry and will eat until she is sick if allowed. She would easily eat a adult sized burger and chips at a restaurant if allowed. I think our diet is relatively healthy but she’s evidently eating too much either at home, school or both.

I think she would be fine weight wise however if there wasn’t so much crap food offered / available to her everywhere we go. I’ll give some examples:

• birthday parties - I’m the mum hovering over DC2 as the kind birthday mum and family try to encourage her to take 10 sandwiches, 5 slices of pizza, 50 chocolate fingers and 2 cupcakes at 3 in the afternoon, when half of the other kids are too busy playing to notice the food available.

• The kind parents on the sidelines at DC1’s sports sharing their kids’ sweets and biscuits with her.

• The mum who brings her child over for a play date and brings doughnuts for the kids.

• The portion size and options on kids menus at pubs which always come with an included dessert (we avoid going out for lunch as a result).

• The grandparents who do not listen when we say we’re trying to keep things healthy and please not to bake cakes for the kids.

• The stickers given out at school to children who finish their food. DC2 is a people pleaser who loves a sticker.

I don’t know how to navigate all this without other parents thinking I’m obsessive, or without giving DC2 food issues, but equally she can’t keep eating all this food offered to her.

In DC1’s school year so many of the children who had some puppy fat in reception are now obese (and many who were stick thin in reception are too). I don’t want that for DC2.

DC3 has a much less healthy diet than DC2 as unlike his sisters he is an incredibly fussy eater who lives off about 20 foods and usually refuses lunch entirely at nursery. He also seems to know when to stop eating even if it is a food he loves. He’s really slim (trousers always falling down) and will be one of those children who can eat all the doughnuts in the world and not put on weight (probably because he then won’t eat anything else for the rest of the day).

So AIBU to think DC2 is destined for a life of being overweight or with a complex about food given her appetite and all the unhealthy food thrown at her (by others) on a regular basis?

I think you are largely right my DD is a young teen and is just not a big eater, she eats whatever she wants and I'm always trying to persuade her to eat more but she won't have much or eat excessive amounts even with something like chocolate. Equally, she is really healthy by default hates beige food, not a big fan of chipsz her favourite fast food is ITSU.

My eldest can literally eat what he wants though he is just lucky and does eat loads not always the best choices.

Both of them have always walkedoads as young children to school was 2 miles and 2 miles back. They now walk all over the City, so that is a huge reason IMO for their very slim physiques. At four they were walking the 2 miles to school and going to the park after school so have always been very fit.

Not enough protein, Greek yogurt for breakfast would be just as easy as bran flakes but high in protein which fills you up and stops you feeling hungry.

I feel for you, if you don't have a child like this you don't get it.

My DC1 had no off switch, he's a lot better now he's older but I do worry about having given him a complex about how much he eats.

Definitely do a protein rich breakfast 80% of the time. Proper greek yoghurt, fruit and nut butter, or cold boiled eggs with ham, don't require lots of cooking.

Give a higher proportion of protein to carbs and up veggies to half the plate. Serve veggies or protein first if possible.

Avoid processed food.

Make sure she's hydrated.

Increase exercise - this can help trigger leptin.

Take her to trampoline park or another fun physical activity instead of to DC1 sport.

But mostly, try not to stress about it. It sounds like her diet is ok aside from the sweets.

A cooked breakfast doesn't have to take much time - if you've a microwave you can make scrambled eggs in 1 minute.

Or since she is having a cold breakfast anyway give her cold food that can be prepared before hand. A chicken thigh, skin off. Hard boiled egg, an egg mayo or cheese sandwich, a slice of Spanish tortilla and a couple of slices of tomato, , full fat plain Greek yogurt with homemade granola ( cheaper than shop and you can load it with nuts, grains, dried fruit for sweetness, oats,seeds etc,very filling )half a toasted bagel with cream cheese and fruit on top.

Aim for foods with protein and fat which take longer to digest. Use natural fats like butter and good oil, not margarine or pretend butter. Offer more filling fruit like banana, or fruit that takes time to eat like apples, pears or fresh pineapple , rather than fruit that is eaten quickly like strawberries and blueberries, keep them for a treat!

Teach her to skip, great exercise, you can do it anywhere , lots of challenges to set yourself.

Hi OP

I understand how hard this is. My oldest put on a lot of weight after stopping competitive swimming and continuing to eat the same amount of food! (competitive swimmers eat A LOT!!) But within about 6 months of my noticing his increasing waistline, a few small changes (that he didn't even notice) bought him right back to a healthy weight (and actually just this morning he was looking a little skinny, so might need to readjust again in the opposite direction now!!). His brother is, and has always been, a bean pole who can eat whatever he likes and never put on weight. So it's hard!

My oldest is shorter relative to his age, than the younger brother and I do think height makes a difference. Taller, faster growing kids do need more calories. Puberty timing is also a factor.

But just looking at what your DC is eating from your post, I'd say on a weekend cut out the snacks - if she's eating sweets she doesn't need snacks too! (or give her the choice - she can have snacks or sweets) and I'd make sure if she is given sweets, then there is a limit regarding how many sweets she has. It won't give her eating issues to be told to go easy on the sweets - it's a good opportunity to teach that these are ok as a treat on the weekend, but it will make her poorly to have too many and moderation is very important (her sister needs to know this too! Just because one doesn't put on weight from eating sweets, doesn't mean they can still eat as many as they like!!)...

Spaghetti Bolognese for dinner, as long as the portion size is nice a small, is fine (and avoid loads of cheese on the top!). Branflakes for breakfast is good! A wrap can have a surprisingly large amount of calories depending on what kind of wrap it is! So maybe just check the calories of what's in the wrap, and the wrap itself, and check u aren't over filling!

During the week, I'd say she doesn't need two dinners. Either she eats at after school club and just has an apple.or something at home, or vice versa. She doesn't need both. If she's starving give some veggie sticks and maybe a couple of bread sticks. That's all she needs after already having eaten at after school.club.

Id also maybe talk to your DC about healthy options at school - does she always need a pudding? That pizza slice? Is there a salad option or jacket potato? Can she take pack lunch? (my oldest found that he couldn't eat healthily at school, even though he wanted to, because they just didn't have healthy options he liked! So he now takes pack lunch - something like a small portion of a rice dish, or tomato pasta, and a piece of fruit for desert)

On the weekend, can you do some cooking together and take healthy snacks you've made, to sports? Getting her involved in cooking is a great way to educate about nutrition :) She can share out her homemade healthy snakcs and maybe the other kids will get on board with it and stop the sweets!

Good luck OP

Thank goodness. Someone has actually said it. The G word, I mean.

I wouldn't be giving a 5 year old bran flakes for breakfast - way too high fibre and won't keep her full at all. Try a couple of eggs cooked in a knob of butter. Something protein based that will keep her blood sugar stable and keep her satisfied and not searching around for the next thing to eat.

These threads are always good fun.

"OP it's all your fault with the awful food you're feeding her and the lazy behaviours" (never mind your skinny kid that's getting raised in the exact same household).

"OP you should swap out your crap food for cheese omelette served with cheese on a wrap, or a cheese sandwich, or sausages and hashbrowns, they're MUCH more nutritious and low calorie for an overweight child" 😂

Sorry, I thought she was about 12! I've just re-read that she's 5! That's v young. She really doesn't need sweets and snacks and things at that age! and make sure the portion sizes are not too big :) It's really ok to say no to her, and to ask her friends to stop giving her sweets (they r 5! You r in control!)

I'm.pretty sure at that age mine were never really allowed sweets, except at Halloween. Really a 5 year old is completely dependent on you and what you allow and don't allow. Be a bit stricter and more in control.

(Can you try porridge at breakfast, it's v filling and v healthy!)

I totally get it OP. I'm like your dd: if there's a buffet I can't ignore it. I'm always hungry, always have been, never go off my food. I always finish my plate. I take seconds. Thirds.
Luckily I have a strong metabolism but I know I eat 3 times more than others. Always have done, always will.

I would also try to focus on activity.

Bran flakes contains wheat and sugar. That’s it. It’s a bad breakfast. We have fresh fruit, wholemeal
toast and peanut butter and a boiled egg (cold from the fridge).

Any possibility she has a thyroid problem?

Or maybe its boredom or Routine? Just eating because.

I’d make an appointment with a paediatric dietitian and get up to date advice on portion sizes and ideas about what to do.

No point listening to people who think bran flakes are junk food but baby bels, sausage patties and hashbrowns etc are great choices.

Do some Google searches for healthy meals. There are lots. My son is also 5 and eats like a teenager but we do lots of exercise. No sweets apart from after school on a friday and on saturday. Exercise doesn't have to be sports clubs. We just go to the playground, go on walks, dance about the house, etc.

Unless you making chicken satay sticks from scratch, they are a upf. As are bran flakes.

She'd be better off with a high protein breakfast.

Branflakes are pure carbs so she will get a suger spike followed by a crash and feel hungry again.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation about what a 'healthy' diet actually is and a lot of people believe they are eating healthily when they sometimes couldn't be eating much less healthily.

If her snacks are toast and high carb fruits, they will have the same impact on her weight as sweets and biscuits albeit.

No point listening to people who think bran flakes are junk food but baby bels, sausage patties and hashbrowns etc are great choices.

Hash browns will have the same effect on blood sugar/insulin release as branflakes. Baby bels are much better in that respect and they will have very little impact on insulin levels due to a much lower sugar content.

High meat (98%) content sausages would also be a better option for the same reason.

Lowering carb intake is better for hormone balancing which reduces appetite and stops the sugar highs and crashes.

I particularly enjoyed “give her a chicken thigh to gnaw on” and the insanely complicated yet no-time-at-all protein wrap bites with multiple fillings including chopping an onion and using an air fryer, something we all have time for while getting ready for school and work, a notoriously leisurely part of the day.

If you’re so convinced that it’s the food other people offer her that’s causing a problem, YABU to keep allowing it to happen. Loads of parents are stricter with sugar these days, it’s hardly unusual to turn down offers of food you don’t want your child to eat.

I'd change breakfast to protein ( PP has said but frozen omelette bites or egg cups are brilliant) and cut all sweets / crisps/ processed snacks. The salt, sugar and all the other crap In those sends your appetite haywire.

I'd stop the sweets. Most adults don't eat sweets most weeks. Drop them and have apples as snacks. I'd drop crisps as a regular meal feature too

Yes I was similar, always had a massive appetite right from a young child, would eat very big dinners, 2 sandwiches in my lunch bag at primary! Ate the lot

Its portion control OP, higher protein and exercise will help but they are side issues, its portions you need to get down, dont get obsessive with cutting stuff out, just smaller amounts of it, I see someone was criticising a satay stick on the first page, this is obsessive, its fine, but make sure its a nibble if its meant to be a snack

When you have no off switch you learn to be really frightened of hunger, its unpleasant and overpowering, Ive learned that hunger isnt terrible, its just something that shows me I'll be eating soon, I can cope. I didnt feel comfortable with that for decades and have learned it very late

Whole foods and exercise. My kids could eat for England, but are very slim. Active and we (mostly) eat well. Avoiding UPF where feasible means more filling foods.

She has a small bowl of bran flakes for breakfast. She often tells me she’s hungry, but she can’t be right?

Of course she's hungry after a small bowl of bran flakes. Empty carbs and sugary milk. She needs protein.

I have one child who is always hungry but she is tall and skinny at the moment- I feel like I will have to watch her if her activity drops as she will always like her food and can put it away. She’s never been overweight but could be if she wasn’t active. The other child eats like a bird and is tiny- she’s got quite a different off switch. Eg she sometimes won’t eat a whole ice cream because she’s full but that has never happened with my older one.

So I think there are differences in appetite that make a difference but you also have to be realistic that most kids in reception and year 1 are tiny so your 5 year old is already an outlier and statistically you do need to do something different to prevent her becoming obese later on.