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24
hotpotlover · 11/12/2024 18:36

PumpkinSpicePie · 11/12/2024 15:44

It's so shocking what people are allowed to do and still get custody of children

11 January 2013
Sara Sharif is made the subject to a child protection plan at birth due to her father, Urfan Sharif, being accused of attacking three women including her biological mother, Olga Domin, as well as hitting and biting children. Sara is allowed to remain with her father.

22 February 2013
Social services and police are told that Sharif has slapped a child around the face.

7 May 2013
A social worker spots a burn mark on a child’s leg and Sharif claims it was a barbecue accident. Sharif failed to report the incident, contrary to a social services agreement. Five months later, a child is seen with a burn mark sustained from a domestic iron. Sharif tells social services the child had knocked into the iron.

2014
A child tells a social worker Sharif smashed up a TV and punched Domin.

November 2014
Sara is taken into foster care for a short stint after a child tells a social worker about a bite mark. A note from a social worker reads that Sara flinches when Sharif tells her off during a supervised contact session and appears surprised when he picks her up and cuddles her. Sara is later returned to her father.

December 2014
A child tells a social worker they do not like Sharif because he punches them all over their body and gives them lots of bruises.

29 January 2015
A social worker is told that Sharif waved a knife around at home in what he claimed was a “zombie” game. Social worker records from 2015 note allegations that Sharif hit and kicked Domin and the pair threatened to kill each other.

February 2015
A child tells their foster carer that Sharif used to hit them on the bottom with a belt.

2015
Olga Domin tells social services that Urfan Sharif tightened a belt around her neck. Sara is returned to Domin’s care later that year. A social worker who worked with the family around this time said female colleagues found Sharif “coercive”. One reported that Sharif told her she must have a mental illness. A social worker notes Sharif would get easily irritated during supervised meetings with Sara and she would shout at him to go away when he went over to her. In September 2015, a child is heard to say that Sharif hit and kicked them every day.

October 2019
Sharif applies to Guildford family court for custody of Sara. Sara has accused Domin of abuse, it is alleged during the trial, and it is understood that Surrey county council supports her return to her father because that is Sara’s preference.

6 June 2022
A teacher spots a bruise under Sara’s left eye, which is recorded in the school’s child protection online monitoring system (CPOMS). Sara initially does not reveal what happened, before saying another child hit her. The teacher raises concerns with Sara’s stepmother, Beinash Batool. A week later, Sharif informs staff he wants to homeschool Sara. She does not return to school until the start of the next academic year.

10 March 2023
A teacher spots Sara with bruises to her chin and right eye. Sara says she fell on roller skates and tries to cover her face with her headscarf. When she gives a different story to a safeguarding lead, the school contacts Surrey council’s children’s single point of access (CSPA) safeguarding line and makes a referral to social services. Sara is known to authorities but there has been no contact with her family for four years. Social services categorises the case as the second-highest priority and makes requests for information from wider agencies, before closing the case after six days.

17 March 2023
Batool is overheard referring to children as “bastards, motherfuckers and whores” in the playground. A report is logged on CPOMS and the school contacts CSPA on 20 March but a written referral is not made.

28 March 2023
Batool claims a mark on Sara’s cheek, which appears to be a bruise, has been caused by a pen. The teacher tells the school safeguarding lead. It is recorded on CPOMS.

17 April 2023
Sharif informs the headteacher that he will be homeschooling Sara with immediate effect. It is recorded on CPOMS. The school contacts the CSPA line for advice and is told to make a referral if there are concerns. Staff see Sara later that day at school pickup and she seems fine, even though Sharif has beaten her earlier that day, according to evidence heard in court. A referral is not made. She is never seen outside the home again.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/dec/11/sara-sharif-death-what-were-the-missed-chances

Fucking hell, is this a joke? The social workers involved in this need sacking and investigating.

TheTwirlyPoos · 11/12/2024 18:38

I hope they are tortured every day for the rest of their miserable fucking lives.

YourAmplePlumPoster · 11/12/2024 19:17

How in Gods name was he ever allowed to get custody of this child? Are the social services and Courts that thick?

YourAmplePlumPoster · 11/12/2024 19:18

Was it fears of being called racist or what?

EasternStandard · 11/12/2024 19:23

I had managed to avoid details but saw some on headlines alert on phone. Evil people

So awful. Just no words

Penguinmouse · 11/12/2024 19:24

This is an awful case. Taking Sara out of education when concerns had been raised is the worst part - there needs to be a safeguard against withdrawal from education when there are concerns and regular contact. School is sadly the safest place for a lot of children.

bombastix · 11/12/2024 19:24

Evil people enabled by the family court.

Lalgarh · 11/12/2024 19:26

YourAmplePlumPoster · 11/12/2024 19:17

How in Gods name was he ever allowed to get custody of this child? Are the social services and Courts that thick?

Supposedly Sara had said she'd preferred to be with him, it said in the summary.

It's possible he coerced her to say that, or the poor girl felt the violence she knew was preferable to her birth mum. He's supposed to have got her or another child (it's a bit vague in the description) to say the mum was a junkie

YourAmplePlumPoster · 11/12/2024 19:27

I hope he and his relatives are deported to Pakistan so UK taxpayers dont have to pay for their incarceration. Somehow, i doubt it.

YourAmplePlumPoster · 11/12/2024 19:29

Although they might be let free in Pakistan knowing how women and girls are treated in that country.

Stuckinlimmmbo · 11/12/2024 19:38

PumpkinSpicePie · 11/12/2024 15:44

It's so shocking what people are allowed to do and still get custody of children

11 January 2013
Sara Sharif is made the subject to a child protection plan at birth due to her father, Urfan Sharif, being accused of attacking three women including her biological mother, Olga Domin, as well as hitting and biting children. Sara is allowed to remain with her father.

22 February 2013
Social services and police are told that Sharif has slapped a child around the face.

7 May 2013
A social worker spots a burn mark on a child’s leg and Sharif claims it was a barbecue accident. Sharif failed to report the incident, contrary to a social services agreement. Five months later, a child is seen with a burn mark sustained from a domestic iron. Sharif tells social services the child had knocked into the iron.

2014
A child tells a social worker Sharif smashed up a TV and punched Domin.

November 2014
Sara is taken into foster care for a short stint after a child tells a social worker about a bite mark. A note from a social worker reads that Sara flinches when Sharif tells her off during a supervised contact session and appears surprised when he picks her up and cuddles her. Sara is later returned to her father.

December 2014
A child tells a social worker they do not like Sharif because he punches them all over their body and gives them lots of bruises.

29 January 2015
A social worker is told that Sharif waved a knife around at home in what he claimed was a “zombie” game. Social worker records from 2015 note allegations that Sharif hit and kicked Domin and the pair threatened to kill each other.

February 2015
A child tells their foster carer that Sharif used to hit them on the bottom with a belt.

2015
Olga Domin tells social services that Urfan Sharif tightened a belt around her neck. Sara is returned to Domin’s care later that year. A social worker who worked with the family around this time said female colleagues found Sharif “coercive”. One reported that Sharif told her she must have a mental illness. A social worker notes Sharif would get easily irritated during supervised meetings with Sara and she would shout at him to go away when he went over to her. In September 2015, a child is heard to say that Sharif hit and kicked them every day.

October 2019
Sharif applies to Guildford family court for custody of Sara. Sara has accused Domin of abuse, it is alleged during the trial, and it is understood that Surrey county council supports her return to her father because that is Sara’s preference.

6 June 2022
A teacher spots a bruise under Sara’s left eye, which is recorded in the school’s child protection online monitoring system (CPOMS). Sara initially does not reveal what happened, before saying another child hit her. The teacher raises concerns with Sara’s stepmother, Beinash Batool. A week later, Sharif informs staff he wants to homeschool Sara. She does not return to school until the start of the next academic year.

10 March 2023
A teacher spots Sara with bruises to her chin and right eye. Sara says she fell on roller skates and tries to cover her face with her headscarf. When she gives a different story to a safeguarding lead, the school contacts Surrey council’s children’s single point of access (CSPA) safeguarding line and makes a referral to social services. Sara is known to authorities but there has been no contact with her family for four years. Social services categorises the case as the second-highest priority and makes requests for information from wider agencies, before closing the case after six days.

17 March 2023
Batool is overheard referring to children as “bastards, motherfuckers and whores” in the playground. A report is logged on CPOMS and the school contacts CSPA on 20 March but a written referral is not made.

28 March 2023
Batool claims a mark on Sara’s cheek, which appears to be a bruise, has been caused by a pen. The teacher tells the school safeguarding lead. It is recorded on CPOMS.

17 April 2023
Sharif informs the headteacher that he will be homeschooling Sara with immediate effect. It is recorded on CPOMS. The school contacts the CSPA line for advice and is told to make a referral if there are concerns. Staff see Sara later that day at school pickup and she seems fine, even though Sharif has beaten her earlier that day, according to evidence heard in court. A referral is not made. She is never seen outside the home again.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/dec/11/sara-sharif-death-what-were-the-missed-chances

This absolutely sums up just how much the family courts hate women. Also Surrey County Council supporting the change in residency, despite the long history of abuse against multiple former partners of his and children. I have personally heard (in my professional capacity) several social workers state that “abusive partners aren’t abusive parents.” I suspect this was the opinion of the social worker who supported the move to his care.

I would also question if they explored why Sara was expressing a preference to living with her dad. Was this the result of coercive control that they should have been live to?

EasternStandard · 11/12/2024 19:44

The list in @PumpkinSpicePie post is devastating

She was already unsafe and hurt then withdrawn from school and had less protection

It's too upsetting

Lalgarh · 11/12/2024 20:10

In the pictures of them going through airport security, there are 3 other children with them

Also, Sharif was working as a cab driver during this time. He had known allegations of violence against him from 2013. Why was he given a license? If he was cab driving, was he getting fares from the education authority to drive some kids to specialist schools outside their usual catchment area? Isn't this sort of stuff supposed to be checked in DBS checks?

historyrepeatz · 11/12/2024 20:35

YourAmplePlumPoster · 11/12/2024 19:27

I hope he and his relatives are deported to Pakistan so UK taxpayers dont have to pay for their incarceration. Somehow, i doubt it.

I hope not. They might not serve long in Pakistan or might get better treatment if they have any influential friends or family.

fashionqueen0123 · 11/12/2024 21:01

hotpotlover · 11/12/2024 18:36

Fucking hell, is this a joke? The social workers involved in this need sacking and investigating.

Them and the judge.
All a total waste of space if someone can do that and get custody of their child. What more do they have to do to not have them? Seems like killing them was in this case.

fashionqueen0123 · 11/12/2024 21:04

Stuckinlimmmbo · 11/12/2024 19:38

This absolutely sums up just how much the family courts hate women. Also Surrey County Council supporting the change in residency, despite the long history of abuse against multiple former partners of his and children. I have personally heard (in my professional capacity) several social workers state that “abusive partners aren’t abusive parents.” I suspect this was the opinion of the social worker who supported the move to his care.

I would also question if they explored why Sara was expressing a preference to living with her dad. Was this the result of coercive control that they should have been live to?

Just unbelievable. How can they seriously think that. If you can abuse the other parent of your child then you are an abusive parent!

Elleherd · 11/12/2024 21:43

Penguinmouse · 11/12/2024 19:24

This is an awful case. Taking Sara out of education when concerns had been raised is the worst part - there needs to be a safeguard against withdrawal from education when there are concerns and regular contact. School is sadly the safest place for a lot of children.

School is where Sara was when she was being battered "black" according to her stepmother.
School is where Sara was throughout the majority of the abuse, before too many questions got asked but not enough action taken, and she was withdrawn.
School is who decided not to refer her withdrawal to SS as concerning when she was withdrawn as they saw her later in the day and thought 'she looked ok.'

SS can't even decide whether to bother or not, when school decides not to refer based on their unqualified opinions.

A child's public demeanor isn't any accurate indicator of what's being done to it.
Abused children are trained from a very young age to protect their abusers and accept the abuse is caused by themselves and deserved. The more they can see that others are investigating but doing nothing, the more it reinforces the child's view that the shame is their own and amplifies the need to keep it secret.

She wasn't safe in school, and she certainly wasn't safe at home.
Neighbors were more concerned with protecting themselves than her.
The systems meant to make her life safer didn't.

School isn't the wonderful supposedly 'protective factor' for abused children any more than the other supposedly protective factors are.
It wasn't for me either, neither was being placed in the 'care' of nuns, or the 'care' of a legal guardian, or being returned to my original situation.
I am alive literally through luck, not care. A sibling wasn't so lucky. But so many people made their living from dealing with our continued abuse.

If Sara had survived she wouldn't even have been able to talk about what she'd been through when she got older because she'd have known she wouldn't be believed and it would just mark her out as unsuitable to parent.

The torture, abuse and death of children by men and women, will continue as long as most people reach for simplistic one size fits all talismans against their violent abusers.

MSLRT · 11/12/2024 22:05

MyPithyPoster · 11/12/2024 16:27

I went to family court with not one but three restraining orders against my ex who was seeking 50-50 custody to avoid paying child-support
They were given nothing more than a cursory glance. Social services weren’t interested.
I absolutely do blame them for Sara ‘s death individually and collectively

Same. They are just as guilty.

PumpkinSpicePie · 11/12/2024 22:17

School isn't the wonderful supposedly 'protective factor' for abused children any more than the other supposedly protective factors are.

Why do you think the parents took her out of school for her final 4 months then? It looks like you believe they could have just continued to send her to school with all the extreme abuse she suffered after they took her out. Wearing a nappy and with hoods on and broken bones/neck and burns and bite marks. Theyd have had to carry her into school. And no one would have noticed as it makes no difference whether children are hidden away or whether they have professional eyes on them every day right?

Lalgarh · 11/12/2024 23:00

C4 news earlier had Cathy Newman ask if there's an Optimism Bias at play in social services. "They said she was fine so maybe things will work out". And also "the father went on a domestic violence awareness course so they believed he'd be a better father".

Yes. Urfan Sharif went on a DV awareness course.

And this is why I am really really wary when rehabilitation and stuff like restorative justice gets pushed by well meaning people

Elleherd · 11/12/2024 23:09

PumpkinSpicePie · 11/12/2024 22:17

School isn't the wonderful supposedly 'protective factor' for abused children any more than the other supposedly protective factors are.

Why do you think the parents took her out of school for her final 4 months then? It looks like you believe they could have just continued to send her to school with all the extreme abuse she suffered after they took her out. Wearing a nappy and with hoods on and broken bones/neck and burns and bite marks. Theyd have had to carry her into school. And no one would have noticed as it makes no difference whether children are hidden away or whether they have professional eyes on them every day right?

Edited

No that's not what I believe. The abuse clearly ramped up after they took her out until she was dead.
But 'professional eyes' as you refer to them where already on her all the time she was being beaten up at school.
They where on her when she was so badly battered that Batool said she couldn't send her in as she was "battered black" and it made no difference.
They where on her when she was withdrawn and those same eyes decided not to refer her withdrawal to SS because she 'looked OK' to them.

They were rightly concerned but not enough, partly because this idea that as long as a child has been red flagged and people are aware, that alone somehow makes it safer for the child. It doesn't.

She wasn't hidden away, she was known to be at home where those professional eyes felt she was ok to be, even though they were concerned when she was at school. Neighbors could hear her screaming, so not that hidden.
Daniel Pelka is another well known abused child who school were very aware of the condition of him but weren't a protective factor to him.
Being known about and schools as 'professional eyes' isn't enough.

Lighteningstrikes · 11/12/2024 23:55

THIS
They are all culpable.
I cannot believe how these so called professionals are so utterly inept.

PumpkinSpicePie · 12/12/2024 02:37

Elleherd · 11/12/2024 23:09

No that's not what I believe. The abuse clearly ramped up after they took her out until she was dead.
But 'professional eyes' as you refer to them where already on her all the time she was being beaten up at school.
They where on her when she was so badly battered that Batool said she couldn't send her in as she was "battered black" and it made no difference.
They where on her when she was withdrawn and those same eyes decided not to refer her withdrawal to SS because she 'looked OK' to them.

They were rightly concerned but not enough, partly because this idea that as long as a child has been red flagged and people are aware, that alone somehow makes it safer for the child. It doesn't.

She wasn't hidden away, she was known to be at home where those professional eyes felt she was ok to be, even though they were concerned when she was at school. Neighbors could hear her screaming, so not that hidden.
Daniel Pelka is another well known abused child who school were very aware of the condition of him but weren't a protective factor to him.
Being known about and schools as 'professional eyes' isn't enough.

They where on her when she was so badly battered that Batool said she couldn't send her in as she was "battered black"

Yes, exactly, Batool couldn't send her to school as she didn't want the teachers to see her bruises. She was kept off.

Likewise she was removed from school when the abuse severely ramped up for her last 4 months so the teachers didn't see.

Anyway, let's not engage further as we are going round in circles and it's getting repetitive. I don't think they should have been allowed to remove her from school and hide her away, you disagree.

YourAmplePlumPoster · 12/12/2024 07:08

Sara's mother was also involved in abuse both of her and her sibling.

Elleherd · 12/12/2024 07:38

I'm sorry to respond when its suggested not engaging further is preferred, but what I'm actually saying has been misrepresented. I'm not asking for a response to my rebuttal of that.

For the record: I'm saying that when a child is in school and both seen to be bruised, and being kept home when too badly bruised, insufficient is done, because it is felt that the child attending school is enough to ensure this can't be happening, even though it is.

We now know that many of the serious injuries where pre Sara's removal from school. She was attending school in pain and with them.

It isn't that I believe 'they should have been allowed to remove her from school and 'hide her away' as you claim I do, it's that I believe other things.

I removed my child from school after broken bones, culminating with them being shot at. There was no dispute as to what had been happening, but the school went to some lengths to try prevent removal, despite talking about planning for the next serious incident. Not how they'd prevent it happening, they said that wasn't within their power, but how they'd deal with the immediate aftermath to stop Dc feeling suicidal about the violence. The focus was on the schools role in what they considered inevitable.
They actually tried to claim I wasn't allowed to remove them, and demanded their return.
LA belatedly tried to use what had happened to me as a child when I took them to court. Little was centered around my Dc or genuinely safeguarding them.

Some schools aren't fit for purpose, many are already just totally overwhelmed, and many simply incapable of joining up the CPOM dots, or correctly following policies. Relying on schools to be able to protect children is fatal for some children.

An ill thought out one size fits all policy is generally dangerous for some.

When their are concerns about a child, individual focused attention needs to be paid to the child and it's situation. Schools are rarely able to do this, and can act as a barrier when expected to.

A child with suspicions about it, suddenly removed from a school, or kept home from school, or suddenly removed from home ed circles, after questions have been raised, should cause a ramping up of concerns and should be immediately followed up, and we should be prepared to pay for it. We aren't and look for systems that wont cost, to supposedly manage concerns instead.
A swaddled supposedly poorly child at a mandated health appointment should be examined by the Dr anyway, even if it will need to be repeated. A child visited by SW's should have the chocolate on it's face removed and seen before they leave. A skeletaly thin hungry child eating out of the bin at school, should require evidence of a medical condition/investigation, not Mum's word.

Social workers already have power of entry via police accompaniment, if a parent refuses to produce a child or they have sufficient concerns about conditions. The mechanisms exist, professionals have to be together enough to use them. That means investing time, organization, and money, and available police. Instead we get chaos followed by 'look over there, don't look over here.'

Are children "hidden away" by being on holiday from school? Is being at home "hidden away?"

Should we say children who there are concerns about shouldn't be allowed to not go to school during school holidays? It's obviously not workable, but instead of looking at what would work, we ignore what already hasn't worked and say having more of it and not being able to leave it would be enough. It won't be.

I am saying that children there are concerns about, should always be properly followed up, and those specific big red flags such as sudden removal from normal activities following raised concerns, should always cause increasing urgency and attention.

The fact that something isn't allowed, such as not attending a school when enrolled at one, doesn't stop abusers, or automatically protect children, and can lull everyone into a false sense of security that 'someone knows' so 'it can't be that bad', and nothing really bad will happen.

'Protective factors' are entirely subjective and often far from protective.