Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know IABU - just lost it over a parent and child space

234 replies

General90 · 13/10/2024 15:25

I feel awful because of my eldest child and it was so out of character for me.

we were going to our local supermarket which is always full of people parking in the child bays without children. Anyway, a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up. She was in front of me when she pulled into the car park and took the last child space and got out and walked into the shop. My DH was driving so I got out and went in where I proceeded to ask her to move her car and she was aggressive to me so I just lost it and we had an argument in the shop.

my DS didn’t witness me shouting at her but I’d tried to get her attention when she’d parked and so he knew there was an issue.

all the way home he was saying he was worried and asked if the police would arrest her. I feel horrendous that it’s by behaviour that influenced this. I know I should have just left her and found another space.

I am pregnant and hormonal, but didn’t excuse my behaviour.

OP posts:
GoldyHorn · 13/10/2024 15:29

Well you put yourself in a risky situation over a car parking space. Which is madness.

The police might have arrested you for starting an argument in a supermarket!

Original poster
General90 · 13/10/2024 15:31

@GoldyHorn yes I am fully aware of this, as I said I already feel horrendous.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 13/10/2024 15:32

Well she sounds like an idiot but you’ve just made a complete fool of yourself in a supermarket.
You followed her in and started an argument? Did you really think she was going to turn round, come out of the shop and move her car for you?? With 2 adults in the car then I can’t say I think you need a child space either.. your DH can drop you off near the door and then go and park.
You've not made good choices this morning…

Dumptytree · 13/10/2024 15:33

I mean officially unreasonable of course... But also... Fuck her, twat, hate bad driving, hate selfish arseholes, hate entitled dicks. The problem is people that far up themselves, your words will have no effect, they don't care. The only person you're hurting is yourself.

I hope she has the day she deserves.

Whothefuckdoesthat · 13/10/2024 15:33

Well, it’s not ideal, but it’s done now. You need to try and calm yourself right down because once you’re relaxed about it, your DS will pick up on that and he’ll relax about it too.

Thehonestbadger · 13/10/2024 15:34

Honestly it just drives me nuts!
I get so cross about it.
I once followed someone who had just taken the last parent and child space off me and my 2 under 2 (at the time) and gone into the shop with her teenager who was literally taller than her by a good foot! The spaces at that particular super market were actually specified at ‘parent and toddler’ so not even the regular ‘parent and child’. The store manager got involved and actually had a bit of a go at the woman also when she fully tried to argue that her almost 6 foot teenager classed as a toddler FFS!

It also drives me nuts when people throw the ‘they might have a blue badge’ argument out there, we have a blue badge for my DS, just check the dashboard it’s not hard… do they have one? 95% of the time I bet you they do not! If they do, leave them alone, if they do not SHAME THEM!

TwinPortraits · 13/10/2024 15:35

She’s unreasonable for parking in the space but I wouldn’t get involved in a public slanging match over it. Life’s too short, and nothing you say will make an arsehole stop acting like an arsehole.

MumChp · 13/10/2024 15:35

But why?
You really need to sort out important and non import stuff. This wasn't and you shouldn't fuzz like that. You are the one to say sorry.

Autumnalfun · 13/10/2024 15:37

Often when people post stuff like this, they want a round of applause, the serves them right, they deserved it stuff. Thr reality is it’s not your job to police supermarket parking, and becoming abusive is far from acceptable.

Overtheatlantic · 13/10/2024 15:37

I wouldn’t worry. People are tired of being taken advantage of by others not following the rules.

Thehonestbadger · 13/10/2024 15:38

I also love the ‘well I don’t think they should have parent and child spaces’ like fine dude, but yourself some land, build yourself a car park and don’t have them. You do not get to dictate to Tesco or Sainsbury’s how they use their land and you don’t get to ignore socially imposed structures just because you don’t believe in them. Maybe I’ll just swan straight past you in the queue for the checkout and when you get p***d and ask me WTF I’m doing I’ll reply ‘I don’t think there should be a queueing system’

Autumnalfun · 13/10/2024 15:39

Thehonestbadger · 13/10/2024 15:38

I also love the ‘well I don’t think they should have parent and child spaces’ like fine dude, but yourself some land, build yourself a car park and don’t have them. You do not get to dictate to Tesco or Sainsbury’s how they use their land and you don’t get to ignore socially imposed structures just because you don’t believe in them. Maybe I’ll just swan straight past you in the queue for the checkout and when you get p***d and ask me WTF I’m doing I’ll reply ‘I don’t think there should be a queueing system’

And here they come op. The whole you go girl shit.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 13/10/2024 15:39

Are you OK, OP? It is unusual to get so irrationally upset about a parking space.

theeyeofdoe · 13/10/2024 15:40

MumChp · 13/10/2024 15:35

But why?
You really need to sort out important and non import stuff. This wasn't and you shouldn't fuzz like that. You are the one to say sorry.

Edited

Because she drove like an arse - which is dangerous and then parked in a M&B space without a child - which is rude, entitled, arrogant and selfish.

OP I have done exactly the same, followed them in and got them to move the car. I used to simply say that they either move the car or I will park behind it and leave it.

You just say to your daughter that you were cross with the lady as she was driving very dangerously and that can cause an accident and that no, of course the police won't arrest you as you haven't commited a crime.

Thehonestbadger · 13/10/2024 15:40

@Autumnalfun

Not at all. But would you not call out someone who pushed straight past you in a queue? If you wouldn’t then fine but if you would then this is the same thing, ignoring a social etiquette because you don’t want to abide it.

WelshPool · 13/10/2024 15:41

If your DH was driving why couldn't he have dropped you and the child off at the entrance and parked up?

Just as easy.

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGGG · 13/10/2024 15:42

The police might have arrested you for starting an argument in a supermarket!

😂😂😂😂

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 13/10/2024 15:43

I don’t think it’s that big a deal tbh. Obviously it’s not a good idea to confront random strangers as they might get aggressive but it was just an argument at the end of the day. No-ones gonna get arrested 🙃

iamtheblcksheep · 13/10/2024 15:43

I can’t believe you are putting yourself in potential danger when you are pregnant. She could have been a lunatic with a knife.

Autumnalfun · 13/10/2024 15:44

Thehonestbadger · 13/10/2024 15:40

@Autumnalfun

Not at all. But would you not call out someone who pushed straight past you in a queue? If you wouldn’t then fine but if you would then this is the same thing, ignoring a social etiquette because you don’t want to abide it.

I’d not follow them, lose it snd have a full on argument with them, no.

Trickabrick · 13/10/2024 15:44

If it makes you feel better OP, I did the same when pregnant and was honestly totally out of character for me. Not my finest moment but not the end of the world either, try not to dwell on it!!

soupfiend · 13/10/2024 15:45

Sounds like you experienced secondary road rage.

But you feel bad enough so you're not going to need a load of people going on about how you shouldnt have done this

At the end of the day the P+C spaces are just there as a thing supermarkets have chosen to do, they dont hold any legal weight although the company that manages the car park can give you a fine if you misuse the spaces.

So yes she was an arsehole and then you bought yourself down to her level, put it down to experience and know that the rest of us have done similar stupid things.

Autumnalfun · 13/10/2024 15:45

Thehonestbadger · 13/10/2024 15:40

@Autumnalfun

Not at all. But would you not call out someone who pushed straight past you in a queue? If you wouldn’t then fine but if you would then this is the same thing, ignoring a social etiquette because you don’t want to abide it.

Also social etiquette works more than one way. It is social etiquette not to go on the rampage and lose it like this over a parking space or someone queue jumping.

Maray1967 · 13/10/2024 15:46

Autumnalfun · 13/10/2024 15:39

And here they come op. The whole you go girl shit.

Show quote history

Well I’ll join in because I did have words with two women who had parked in a parent & child space at M & S. I wanted to make them aware of how antisocial their behaviour was. I was polite and calm - but thought it only fair to remind them that not everyone is polite and calm and given that they have a very expensive car it would surely be wise not to antagonise someone who might be less restrained than I was.

DespairCalling · 13/10/2024 15:49

Mother and child spaces are ridiculous anyway. They should park and walk like everyone else.