I know IABU - just lost it over a parent and child space

[General90]

I feel awful because of my eldest child and it was so out of character for me.

we were going to our local supermarket which is always full of people parking in the child bays without children. Anyway, a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up. She was in front of me when she pulled into the car park and took the last child space and got out and walked into the shop. My DH was driving so I got out and went in where I proceeded to ask her to move her car and she was aggressive to me so I just lost it and we had an argument in the shop.

my DS didn’t witness me shouting at her but I’d tried to get her attention when she’d parked and so he knew there was an issue.

all the way home he was saying he was worried and asked if the police would arrest her. I feel horrendous that it’s by behaviour that influenced this. I know I should have just left her and found another space.

I am pregnant and hormonal, but didn’t excuse my behaviour.

Yes it may just be things have got a bit too much for you, and emotional regulation has gone a bit off. Try to switch off from it now and let it go. Try some self care this evening and if you are still experiencing negative emotions try one approach which I think is good, opposite emotion - so if sad try to smile, watch a funny video etc. also try talking it out calmly and getting enough sleep,

Well done OP. She sounds awful, driving dangerously and parking in a space not for her. Of course she should be called out. As for all this nonsense about her having her a knife…she’s just an arsehole who thinks she’s more important than anyone else not sure why she’d be going shopping armed 🙄. Just explain to ds what she did wrong and why she shouldn’t. Think I’d be more angry about the driving than the parking though. Just because really you can park anywhere with kids and manage. Maybe not as easy but it’s not undoable. Dangerous driving has far worse consequences!

She shouldn’t have parked there.

But you pursued someone into a shop to pick a fight and make an utter spectacle of yourself. While your young child was in your care.

Inexcusable.

I've had SO many moments where I briefly drifted into a daydream fantasising about doing just this. Particularly when I had a newborn, and saw children (age 12+, not in car seats, able to get themselves in and out a car) being driven into those spaces.

The absolute struggle of trying to get a tiny baby - and actually worse, a planking toddler - into a car seat in a normal space watching that used to make my blood boil.

Good on you. Yes, it was totally ridiculous to put yourself in this position, but you absolutely lived out my fantasy there....

@Smartiepants79

Gee it's almost like different people have different hormonal journeys.

You'll be one of those women who if you breeze through menopause will blithely throw scorn at women who are suicidal 🙄

Also for those saying about disability in this the man whom park in the last parent/child space parked next to an empty disabled bay (so not disabled).

You don't know that. He may not qualify for a blue badge but it doesn't mean he doesn't have a disability.

Erm I’m sure that’d help matters

A few weeks ago I got absolutely slaughtered by a woman for parking in a m and b supermarket space. I'm pregnant and I've awful Spd again in this pregnancy., where I can barely walk. I parked for 5 minutes in a mother and baby because I genuinely can't carry anything heavy very far or push trollies. I just needed a few things. I was cursed at by this lady. I did apologise and try to explain but it was just the aggression that was hard to deal with it. To be fair I get that I shouldn't have parked but I was really stuck.

That woman had no right to berate you like that, could she not see the state you were in, or something? These spaces are a courtesy, as has been said numerous times. It is a shame that people seem to be getting so twisted over them.

I actually stopped shopping at Lidl because of this exact issue when I had a young baby. Drove me INSANE. It was like a competition of who can park closest to the shop - not only in the parent child bays but even across the road towards the entrance! They’d just add their cars on to the end of a row even though it was not parking spaces. I complained and a cashier said there was nothing they could really do. So I now go to a totally different supermarket and none of this happens there! I mean probably not a good idea to follow a random person but I totally get your anger! X

Thank you, I was genuinely walking like a sideways crab. I appreciate the reply. She was so irrational, I don't think she'd have seen anything that hit her. She kept screaming at me if I had kids I'd get it. The irony is the reason I've spd so early on is I had twins last year who I lost at 30 weeks but my ligaments are screwed 😅 so this pregnancy is killing me. Tbf dh normally does the shop now but I was stuck that day

That is sad to hear@Ella31 . Nobody knows what other people could be going through, when they are venting on them over unimportant things like this.

Any of us can have a bad day but you knew she was erratic already and probably to be avoided. I also agree with the pp who remarked that with two adults in the car I don't think you should necessarily have been looking to take the last parent and child slot either.
I know why supermarkets have these slots near the front door of their premeses but it would be better for all , particularly the disabled, if they were at the back of the car park and not in prime position.

You rammed his trolley? Seriously?

You don't personally attack people, take it up with the store at the absolute most.

If it makes you feel a little better, I get triggered when people without children park in Child and Baby spaces.

My youngest child is now 15 so we haven't been parking in them for years now. But that is not the point.

Meh, you fucked up. Everyone does. Don’t be so hard on yourself and definitely don’t post here for the MN vipers to punish you for it! It’s not the end of the world, please try not to ruminate on this. It’s not worth it.

Life isn’t fair and doesn’t owe you anything and nobody follows the rules. This is what I drill into my kids on a daily. So easy to get caught up in this stuff. Child spaces are just a way of baiting people anyway, they are the same as disabled spaces. Never for the intended.

Pregnancy hormones does funny things to us girls. I once had a right go at a lady feeding pigeons at a train station... all I could think of was the germs from the birds and how they might harm my baby. No logic there at all. I would just try and put it to bed. We all have those irrational days.

I don’t imagine for one second you’d have done what you did if everything was a bed of roses for you right now and you were feeling calm in your daily life. It seems to me that there’s a bit of transference going on. Not your finest moment, but you clearly know that. Try to use this as a sign that you need to give yourself a bit of tlc.

For what it’s worth, I’ve never done anything quite on that scale, but as a wheelchair user I have confronted people over taking accessible spaces they don’t need. Most of the time very politely, but there is one I still cringe about when I think of it.

To err is human!

I had a bit of an argument with an older woman in the supermarket car park when she accused me of being lazy because I’d parked in a parent and child space. This was before I’d even got the pushchair out of the car and my 6month old grandson out. I asked her where her blue badge was as she’d parked in a disabled space. She said she didn’t have one but wouldn’t be in the shop long. I bumped into the manager who was a friend, pointed it out to him and left the shop to find her arguing with the guy from the parking company clamping her car 🤣

Probably as tired as people are of the self-appointed parking czars, I doubt the woman is remotely bothered about the OP's temper tantrum, in fact she's probably enjoying a good laugh about it.

It is when you're pregnant 🤣

Why on earth have you responded to this poster by going on about which way round she may or may not have parked? You’re coming across really badly now. Determined to show no sympathy to someone who’s had a bit of a crap experience in a car park through no fault of their own.

Also no amount of forward parking is going to help if, having found a space in a quiet part of the car park (if that’s possible which it might not be), you come back to find people have parked either side of you and you physically can’t get the children in the back. Particularly difficult with twins.

You’re silent on the question of the single man who ignored donimo and walked off. He was wrong to park in the space, right?