I know IABU - just lost it over a parent and child space

[General90]

I feel awful because of my eldest child and it was so out of character for me.

we were going to our local supermarket which is always full of people parking in the child bays without children. Anyway, a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up. She was in front of me when she pulled into the car park and took the last child space and got out and walked into the shop. My DH was driving so I got out and went in where I proceeded to ask her to move her car and she was aggressive to me so I just lost it and we had an argument in the shop.

my DS didn’t witness me shouting at her but I’d tried to get her attention when she’d parked and so he knew there was an issue.

all the way home he was saying he was worried and asked if the police would arrest her. I feel horrendous that it’s by behaviour that influenced this. I know I should have just left her and found another space.

I am pregnant and hormonal, but didn’t excuse my behaviour.

No one is praising the driver at all, and there is no law to state that she should not have parked where she did, so not unlawful. Those spaces are a courtesy. As this thread has shown, some people will take no notice of that fact. As a few posters have rightly pointed out, the OP could have put herself at risk by confronting that person.

Run yourself a bath, hug your son and play or read with him and forget all about it.

She should not have parked there.
You should not shout but that’s life.

You sound exhausted and overwhelmed to me. You need a day off and to start putting yourself first. Then these things are less likely to happen.

No she is ruddy well not.

What a bizarre comment.

Say "sorry" to a dangerously driving idiot? Yeah, ok 🙄

I always use the P&C spaces if i can when I've got my doddery mum with me, much easier for her to get in/out.

Never had anyone challenge me ☹️ slightly gutted tbh I'd love to just Usyk-stare through someone while they go on and on 🤣

Good for you @Megifer
You can enjoy it even more now that you know you are winding up so many indignant parents 😀

It also drives me nuts when people throw the ‘they might have a blue badge’ argument out there, we have a blue badge for my DS, just check the dashboard it’s not hard… do they have one? 95% of the time I bet you they do not! If they do, leave them alone, if they do not SHAME THEM!

DM wasn't deemed disabled enough for a blue badge despite being partially sighted and unable to walk far. I would have had no qualms about parking in a parent and child space to save her walking. I wouldn't have taken any notice of some entitled twat trying to shame me.

The woman was a fucking arse but not worth risking making a costly mistake yourself. Your blood pressure rockets, you see red and explode. But it’s just not worth it, in those moments you’re not being safe because you can’t think rationally. Fuck this woman and everyone like her. Forget it and move on but maybe get some help with how you react to stress and support in how to recognise when you are feeling these feelings as that’s when it’s time to stop and take a break.

I guess it’s more difficult because cars are bigger too. When mine were babies and toddlers, there were no P&C spaces, but the car was smaller. Still not easy to manhandle a baby and toddler in and out of a two door car though.

Don’t worry OP I have done the same thing .I asked a man with no children to move as I had to manoeuvre a car seat out . He refused saying there should not be parent and child places . His wife had gone in the shop and didn’t hear this exchange . I was fuming . I told the security guard who was useless so I stalked the man round the shop and rammed his trolley .I proceeded to rip a strip off him . His wife was mortified. They scuttled round the supermarket avoiding me but it felt great to get it off my chest!

DM wasn't deemed disabled enough for a blue badge despite being partially sighted and unable to walk far. I would have had no qualms about parking in a parent and child space to save her walking.

And there would be nothing to stop you doing so. They are a courtesy, that some people will abide by.

I mean I know it’s not a law that you can only park in a parent and child space with a child. But everyone realises those who do - when they have zero reason to are selfish cunts 🤷‍♀️. I wouldn’t feel bad about highlighting someone’s clear inadequacies.

OP, you are pregnant. Give yourself a break. Throughout my pregnancy I became increasingly intolerant of BS from the general public and I had no qualms about telling people off when they were rude or irritating. This woman's driving would have set me right off!

After giving birth thankfully I've gone back to not really noticing or caring about stupid behaviour...

Good for you @General90 in having the grace to realise you were OTT.

I hope you’re feeling calmer now.

Sorry I haven’t responded to all who have asked questions, didn’t expect this many replies. @AD1509 yes but equally my reaction and response was not reasonable nor was it fair. I should have just left it but didn’t.

@bringmorewashing and @YellowAsteroid thank you. I will definitely learn from it and model calmer behaviour moving forward. I just feel very ashamed and embarrassed of how I acted.

Why is it not “fair”. Why should you try to accommodate individuals who have intentionally inconvenienced you for no valid reason?

'a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up.'

that was quite some distance

yet your car arrived at the supermarket just behind her ?

and she didn't tailgate you as it was your dh that was driving...

Don’t beat yourself up, she sounds like an arsehole.

Well, you already know it wasn’t wise to follow the idiot selfish driver and confront her but I can understand why you were annoyed.

I see it all the time. Usually some big suv type car. Self important. I’m surprised when it’s other women though. Not really that surprised when I see certain guys doing it, sadly. It’s always the same type. The same dickhead ones who don’t stop at zebra crossings.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t think
the spaces should exist - they do. Parent and child spaces are for….parent and child. Simple as that.

Oh my goodness - are you insane? You can't attack people in a shop - parent and child spaceing is courtesy not legally binding!!
Terrible behaviour. And it will be on CCTV. I don't think you ' lost it' I think you felt entitled to the space. Why do you think you did it?

That is actually insane.

It's got nothing to do with being close to the shop. They're wider to give you space to get a baby out of a car seat and get the pram out of the car. I assume you haven't had a baby or you would know that. It's not about distance it's about space.

When the mother and baby spaces are full, I can't open my door enough to get my baby in the car seat so I have to leave my baby in the pram with the brake on, pull the car out, then get out and put the baby in while having my car blocking the drive way if someone has parked next to me while I've been gone. Totally unsafe.

Why not get your shopping delivered

It might not be unlawful to use these spaces without children but it can be enforced against. These car parks are private land and some use private firms to manage them.

The shopping centre local to us strictly enforces use of P&C spaces. You have to have a permit issued by them annually. If you park in a P&C space without displaying the permit they issue a PCN. Funnily enough it's much easier to get a P&C space there than most other places.

Well if you need a permit you need a permit, but the case in Tesco etc