Tmi but left sanitary towel in bathroom

[Embarrassed3]

This morning I accidentally left a sanitary towel on the bathroom side. I did roll it up as usual but it must have come undone. This has never happened before and it was a genuine accident. I normally always put it in the bin straight away. Next thing I know DP comes storming in the room shouting “are you having a laugh you fucking scruffy cunt”

I get that nobody would want to see that but it was a genuine accident that has never happened before and I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I wouldn’t have a problem at all if he’d have come in the room and reminded me not to leave it on the side but what he did actually scared me a bit

Sorry I know tmi

This kind of attitude (or similar attitudes) is exactly why women's health has not been taken seriously for too long. Periods are not to be mentioned and treated with disgust when they become obvious or god forbid are seen by human eye! I get that the comment was calling you out you being scruffy rather than directly about your period blood, but I'm pretty sure the reaction wouldn't have been quite the same if you'd left out a snotty tissue.
I'd hope he could be educated but sadly these behaviours go deep.

I have been in a relationship with someone like that and they don't get better only worse.
Pads do get left by accident in bathrooms. This will probably happen many more times to you, you in life until you stop menstrating.
You shouldn't be treated like that.

My "EX" used to come home drunk from the pub and wee in the bath instead of the loo so one night I got up and told him I was sick of him doing this and his response was "well it needs cleaning anyway because you're a lazy c*". He's my EX now! Get rid of this horrible man!

This is not ok. Please keep yourself and you kids safe. https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/#:~:text=women%20can%20call%20The%20Freephone,any%20time%2C%20day%20or%20night.

OP, I’m proud of you for taking steps to get out of this abusive relationship. I’m sure you realise that this ‘event’ wasn’t about periods, or sanpro, or your alleged shortcomings around housework. It’s about his lack of respect for you, his unkindness, his perceived sense of superiority and his need for control. No loving partner would behave like this.

I’m sending you all the strength and courage for a speedy and safe extraction for you and your DC. Be sure to lean on those around you - family, friends, colleagues - who truly do love and care for you.

Please get rid. I've done this before and when I realised I cringed and run back into the bathroom to see DH had since put it in the bin. Not a word said x

Stick it to his forehead to remind him how lucky he is he doesn’t have periods every month. Also cunts are cool - disrespecting them is not.

We've all done it!
Only difference is that some of us don't have shitty partners who think natural things are disgusting.

Get rid of him asap.

wtf?It’s a bit embarrassing, but it’s not shameful. Periods are a normal part of a woman’s physical life, but he’s disgusted by them. I’d be out of there like a shot.

This brought a tear to my eye! This should be the benchmark of a good man OP, just remember that! Stay strong and keep your kids your priority through all that's ahead - having a calm happy you will make so much difference to them and no doubt STBXH will try and guilt trip you that you're splitting up the family etc but it's him not you and you've been brilliant keeping them together as long as you have. There comes a point you have to leave for their sakes though as this toxic environment will not be good for them (in a similar position myself sadly). Good luck

He's a prick, @Embarrassed3
THERE IS NOTHING WRING WITH YOU!!!!

Just get out. Be safe. And leave bloody pads everywhere when you go. 🤬

On one hand, he over-reacted and you're right to be upset.

On the other hand, half the thread is telling you to kick him out over this, which would be just about the most disproportionate over-reaction anyone could possibly make.

Not a nice reaction. U shid discuss that with him. But he doesn't seem very nice.

Oh my goodness I thought by the title you had left it in a work toilet or someone else’s bathroom but this is your own home?? You shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed like that! We all have bodily functions ffs, his reaction was horrible what a twat.

He said it because he's a twat.

It’s massive red flags, calling a DP a c**t for a normal bodily function, instilling in the OP that she should be ashamed of herself. This is about a lot more than a sanitary pad. OP has already started the process of leaving him. She’s doing the right thing, this is just the beginning of abusive behaviour

The person who said it's a disproportionate reaction has not taken into consideration: (1) That people like that very rarely get better - only worse - as they - and you - get older and they get more disgusted by more things. (2) That if he's like that over something so small then what would be like if it was something much more than that? (3) Often it's the small things that matter. Please research a site called "Flying Monkeys - Oh My!" where you can find out if he fits the criteria for being a narcissist - in which case it's definitely best to leave the relationship as you may not get out in one piece. Although do consider that someone may not be a full-blown narc as there are percentages. There's lots of information available about narcs online now but not all is sound and there are too many self-appointed experts. I would recommend Les Carter on YouTube channel "Surviving Narcissism" who is a qualified psychiatrist.

I think u shu discuss it with someone u trust rather than a bunch of strangers

Why are you embarrassed? There is nothing dirty about menstrual blood. My husband of 37 years, we have one son and 3 daughters, would rather not see the evidence of his daughters menstruation, but he will deal with it if necessary. He is is well aware, as all men should be, that women bleed for 5-7 days every 21-28 days. My son is well aware of that - and well aware I'm more forgiving of that than horrible shit stains in my toilets ...

Good point! A woman or any person ahud not be yelled at for making normal mistakes. Every human does and it's almost not even a mistake. It's just normal

I don’t think you understand the concept of Mumsnet

I do actually i just hope she uses it just fir support and insight rather than full advice and final decision making.

Was your DP joking and laughing with you regarding the liner or was he being verbally abusive and cruel in his manner?
If he was laughing and no cruelty intended,I'd have found this amusing as this is the type of banter myself and my hubby have however,if this was said to shame or humiliate you ,then I feel he is a total wanker and I'd be saying the next time I'll stick one I his big fkin mouth to gag him 😉

Do you think she should stay with him? Would you stay with someone who called you a c**t?