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Original poster

Tmi but left sanitary towel in bathroom

451 replies

Embarrassed3 · 12/10/2024 08:45

This morning I accidentally left a sanitary towel on the bathroom side. I did roll it up as usual but it must have come undone. This has never happened before and it was a genuine accident. I normally always put it in the bin straight away. Next thing I know DP comes storming in the room shouting “are you having a laugh you fucking scruffy cunt”

I get that nobody would want to see that but it was a genuine accident that has never happened before and I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I wouldn’t have a problem at all if he’d have come in the room and reminded me not to leave it on the side but what he did actually scared me a bit

Sorry I know tmi

OP posts:
Roundthemoon · 14/10/2024 01:07

MidnightMeltdown · 14/10/2024 01:06

It doesn't matter what you've done. If a man called me a 'fucking scruffy cunt', for any reason at all, then the relationship would be over.

Honestly, I don't understand why some women are willing to put up with being spoken to like that. In the nicest possible way, you need to find some self respect OP. He clearly doesn't respect you at all.

Yeah it's horrendous.

And you always get shocked at why the women just don't leave.

There is a lot of psychological intricacies to abuse. Where the victim gets totally worn down and believes its her fault.

pineapplesundae · 14/10/2024 01:11

Mercy me! Give him the boot. Life is too short to put up with rude people. And you don’t want your boys picking up on that behavior.

Opentooffers · 14/10/2024 01:12

Geez he's showing you that you'll do fine without him by doing nothing for you. Might as well kick him out. I bet you'll be financially better off without him. Does he even pay his share of all bills including children's needs? You'll get 25% council tax discount and can claim cms off him, which should seem more attractive than him being there.

Codlingmoths · 14/10/2024 01:13

don’t feel bad for what you said!! Wonderful the house is yours, I’d ask him to not come back. You have an absolute right not to ever be spoken to like that in your home.

Nuthatches · 14/10/2024 01:20

So the house is yours and you would be financially ok without him? I think you know the answer. I would use the footy time to back him some bags and tell him not to come back. Horrible and abusive pig! Please get rid. Life is too short. Don't toughen up. You deserve better but so do you DC. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for them.

Melonjuice · 14/10/2024 01:25

I’ve done this !!! Dp saw picked it up and binned it like an adult
ex boyfriend used to say to me that when he lived with his mum he never knew when she was on her period so I had to hide my pads . I left one out then too and he shamed me - Some men are so vile
tell him to F off and that you don’t complain about his skiddy boxers and if it wasn’t for women and periods he wouldn’t have been born . Horrible twat and no man should call his partner a cunt- why are you even calling a twat like that a “dp”

surety135 · 14/10/2024 01:32

Like a couple of pp's I did this once and my first husband reacted very similarly. Said he "shouldn't have to see that", very shaming and disgusted. He's a doctor that specialised in women's health so I'm sure he's seen far worse. It was the start of awful treatment and a definite early red flag. We are long divorced now. You should take this and the rest of his behaviour as a sign to leave asap.

MelodyFinch · 14/10/2024 01:51

Start making a full proof exit plan . This man is an immature, woman hating, bastard. Get as far away as you can. Your sons do not need this as a role model. Get a solicitor.

MelodyFinch · 14/10/2024 01:55

Your partner is a misogynist. Start making an exit plan. He doesn’t like you, or any females really. He is a terrible influence on your children. Talk to a solicitor.

zileri · 14/10/2024 05:20

He sounds beyond horrible. Any man who called me a c would not be speaking to me again. Really the lowest if the low here. He has no standards or self-respect, let alone respect for you. I'm sorry, you need to proceed with your life without him. It's not your job to make excuses for him. Really nasty piece of work. I've never met a man who would call the mother of his children that. You can do so much better.

GrimpenMire · 14/10/2024 05:53

Jifmicroliquid · 12/10/2024 09:29

Do you have a daughter? Is he going to say the same to her when she forgets to bin her sanitary towel?

What a horrid human.

This. I would leave any man that called me a cunt in anger. Non negotiable.

How is he going to be if you get ill and need him to help you? A sanitary towel would be the least of his problem and this sort of thing needs to be taken into consideration when you share your life with someone.

DG and I have had to do some freakishly weird things when nursing each other.

GrimpenMire · 14/10/2024 06:01

I would never be able to have sex or a loving relationship with someone that called me a scruffy cunt over some non event like this so the relationship would be done anyway.

I would certainly never be able to step up and help them if they were to have a stoma bag or be ill or anything as I would know they would never help me in those circumstances. It's all too uneven going forward.

Champers66 · 14/10/2024 07:00

Embarrassed3 · 12/10/2024 08:45

This morning I accidentally left a sanitary towel on the bathroom side. I did roll it up as usual but it must have come undone. This has never happened before and it was a genuine accident. I normally always put it in the bin straight away. Next thing I know DP comes storming in the room shouting “are you having a laugh you fucking scruffy cunt”

I get that nobody would want to see that but it was a genuine accident that has never happened before and I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I wouldn’t have a problem at all if he’d have come in the room and reminded me not to leave it on the side but what he did actually scared me a bit

Sorry I know tmi

Oh my god. Do not feel embarrassed! He should be embarrassed by his reaction! He sounds vile. Get rid

dcthatsme · 14/10/2024 07:12

It’s not ok to humiliate you. It’s period blood. In our culture we are made to feel ashamed for our periods - that they are somehow unclean. Without periods there’d be no new life. I’m sorry he has been so disrespectful and unkind. You apologised- what more can you do? Please don’t let feel ashamed any more OP.

Lavenderblue11 · 14/10/2024 07:25

Oh OP, this was not your fault at all, it could happen to anyone. What a nasty piece of work your 'other half' is. Does his shitty attitude spill out into other aspects of how he treats you as well?
You need to tell him he's bang out of order, what a complete arse hole he is.
💐

Nothanks17 · 14/10/2024 07:29

I have made an accident before leaving it out and its unrolled... my other half just didn't mention it to not embarrass me. I knew he had been in the bathroom a few times and I was mortified. (We have an upstairs and downstairs loo). But then ai thought about how he has just pretended to not see it and how kind it was... I asked afterwards omg did you see that in the bathroom and he asked what I meant - I could tell he was pretending to save my dignity 🤣🤣

Your DH could have just said 'you might wanna go back in the bathroom'

Lavenderblue11 · 14/10/2024 07:32

Embarrassed3 · 12/10/2024 10:15

The house is mine and I guess I’m feeling bad because I’m a genuinely nice person but I know I need to toughen up

Please don't even consider leaving him in YOUR house and moving in with your mum like you said in an earlier post. This loser needs booting out, you shouldn't be even thinking of letting him stay in the house while you and the kids have to leave.

whathaveiforgotten · 14/10/2024 08:02

TheMamaLife · 13/10/2024 23:16

Just want to add that it’s not always perfect at home with my caveman husband.. he comes across a bit selfish too sometimes as he doesn’t lift a finger at home, and if I bring this up, an argument kicks off, blah blah blah… but even being that much of an asshole, my husband would never speak to me like that or see to make me feel awkward…

Your partner sounds really aweful.. it’s not acceptable. Don’t accept it. Don’t let your boys grow up seeing you belittled by this piece of shit.

It's sad you think that you should tolerate this and that your children aren't somehow being affected by being taught that women should do all the cleaning and cleaning etc and if they ask for a man to do their share he starts an argument.

Whether your kids are girls or boys, it's such a damaging and toxic environment that will cause them to think this is normal. The longer they're around it the more likely they are to replicate the dynamic as adults 😞

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 14/10/2024 08:21

WTAF… the way he spoke to you I would have left him there and then! Hell to the no…

I have done this on The very odd occasion and my DP hasn’t bat an eyelid because, guess what women have periods, that’s part of life!

Bet he’s left plenty of residue in the toilet for you to enjoy cleaning in the past though!

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 14/10/2024 08:32

Embarrassed3 · 12/10/2024 10:15

The house is mine and I guess I’m feeling bad because I’m a genuinely nice person but I know I need to toughen up

Then he needs to come back to find his shit packed sitting on the doorstep!

WireItBackToZero · 14/10/2024 08:43

Dh would have rolled it up and put it in the bin and never mentioned it to me. He also checks the toilet after every use, just like we have taught our two sons to do and deals with anything he may have accidentally left behind.

Do you think he is really upset about the sanitary pad or do you think he looks for opportunities to take you down and make you feel bad? I mean he thoroughly deserved to be reminded of his hygiene habits if he is pointing out one error by you.

Your relationship doesn't sound great. I would be considering what sort of role model he is setting for your sons on how men treat the women they are supposed to love and care for.

SliceoCakeAuntSally1 · 14/10/2024 08:52

Is he always so brusque? Why does he speak to you in this way? This isn’t the normal way people in a loving relationship speak to each other, perhaps something is going on in the background. I would leave it a couple of days, let things calm down then talk about it and see why he reacted that way.

Icebreaker911 · 14/10/2024 09:01

Similar thing happened to me a while back, my DF inadvertently 'left me a present' in the unflushed toilet.

I knew she would be absolutely mortified if I mentioned it to her - so I kept my gob shut & discreetly flushed on her behalf...

Original poster
Embarrassed3 · 14/10/2024 09:49

Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all the comments. I’m currently in the process of ending the relationship. He doesn’t know this yet. I won’t lie, it’s not easy as despite how he treats me I do love him and it’ll be strange not being with him but I know it’s something I need to do.

This might sound like a non issue but I’m just wondering what people make of this and why he reacted this way. I won a competition on Facebook. Loads of Christmas goodies for the kids that we can use on Christmas Eve and for stocking fillers. I told him I had won and showed him the picture of everything I’d won. He tutted and called me a weirdo. How does that make me a weirdo?

OP posts:
Turnups · 14/10/2024 09:53

It doesn’t. He just wanted to say something hurtful and as there was nothing rational to criticise, he just said the first nasty thing he could think of. Good luck.