To decline to answer what school my child goes to?

[Icicle90]

I sometimes get strangers asking what primary school my son goes to if the topic comes up in conversation and I always prefer not to answer just from a safety and privacy POV. For example the hairdresser today asked and a few weeks ago, someone else that I don't know that well asked.
Is it weird to just say I prefer to keep his personal information private when someone asks?

Do you make him put his uniform on just before entering the school gates and change him as soon as he leaves? If not, what if someone sees him in the uniform and works out which school he goes to?! Do you vary your route to and from the school to avoid detection?

Yes, it's a bit weird.

At the end of the day, though, it's up to you and you can keep it private if you want. Just be aware that others will read stuff into that choice - I would assume that your dc is adopted and needs extra protection or that you had all fled domestic violence or similar. Of course, that might actually be the case, or else you might not care what conclusions people draw. Fair enough.

If a standard school I would agree.
But it is hard in general conversation when it is something you don't want to discuss further but you don't know who will push and who won't.
Where does Tim go to school?
Oh Exeter House? Not heard of that where is it, why not x,y or z here?
Oh Exeter House that's the sen school isn't it? Why does he need that.

My own DC are adopted, I get a wide range of responses if I mention it....

Really? People actually ask why they go there? That's so intrusive. I'm not surprised you're annoyed

@ahemfem For clarity, mine were at mainstream, but I can absolutely believe people asking why a special school, based on questions I have at times had re adoption.

I think it's odd not to tell the hairdresser- I asked my hairdresser which secondary school her child moved to. It's just small talk.

very odd when someone is just asking as part of normal conversation. I have no idea what you think the hairdresser is going to do with this knowledge. I’d hate to live my life with such suspicion of people’s intentions. They probably think you’re bonkers

Big eye roll - sorry op sound ridiculous

TBH you are going to come across as very rude in normal conversation if you are that private. You literally can't even make small talk with someone who is that unwilling to share anything at all, so just don't be surprised if people become unwilling to make any effort with you.

If it's a small town where people talk, I hate to tell you this, but your obdurate answer will get them talking more. What is she hiding? It was just small talk, has she got a crazy ex?

That. If you don't want people gossiping about you, the last thing you should do is avoid giving answers to small talk questions. Because if you go all mysterious, their interest will be piqued and what they don't know, they'll make up, and then gossip about the weird client they had today.

I'm not mocking them. I'm wondering why they'd cover the badge but not think hmm.. should I be putting a picture of my child on the Internet l?

Urgh people are so rude! The circumstances surrounding adoption are no ones business.

It’s an excellent way to make sure you come across as delusional and paranoid. I have conversations about children’s school and even post the occasional post online with a school logo showing!! They are still alive and well.

A lot of people on here have clearly never had safeguarding training.

//

I work in a school and regularly have safeguarding training. I don't post pictures of my daughter at all. So my comment was if you are apparently so concerned about your child's privacy you do post but then try to remove some identifying features then that's quite a contradiction. The whole point of SM is to advertise something about your life and o other people.

Safeguarding training helps you to work out what is a concern and what isn't.

Exactly. And paedophiles do all manner of disgusting things with photos of kids. Blurring out a school logo isn't going to stop that.

But is your child's photo being used for disgusting purposes? Can you be sure?

That’s the thing. The hairdresser doesn’t need to know, it’s called small talk. She doesn’t care. It’s part of human interaction, or have people forgotten how to socialise with people these days. This is also not a stranger on the street, but a hairdresser who are paid to cut your hair and make small talk. Pretty sure that she doesn’t care where OP’s son goes to school and would have forgotten before the next customer arrived. She won’t forget the woman who refused to tell her

Yes, some people have no boundaries when it comes to asking other people personal questions.

I’ve got DC with SEN and I’ve had acquaintances and random strangers ask me some very intrusive questions when it’s come up in conversation. So if OP’s DS is at a special school and she doesn’t want to risk an interrogation about it I understand that.

Although as PP’s have said, a flat out refusal to say the schools name is unusual and will generate more curiosity and speculation, so if I didn’t want to talk about where my DC goes to school, I’d be inclined to find ways to divert the conversation away from schools, or just lie about where he goes to school.

Safeguarding is also being aware of and reporting factors which could impact the health and wellbeing of a child, minor or vulnerable adult and isn't just "privacy ".

Potentially posting our kids all over the internet en masse without their consent could in itself be a concern in years to come

I think the photo thing is different and also the people blurring the logo should not be putting pictures up at all if they're concerned about privacy.

A big issue with images of a child being public is that they can end up in the hands of child predators, and if one takes a liking to a child then they already have information about them that can help get access to them. What school they go to, information from social media about you and your family which can be used to build trust.

It's the reason I don't like seeing vloggers on YouTube including their children. It's easy for weirdos to form parasocial relationships and think they know or have some kind of connection with the child they watch.

Compare that to a hairdresser who you have chosen to go to and are engaged in polite conversation with. She had no idea who your child is or any reason to take an interest in him to kidnap him. If she were some sort of child predator on the hunt for victims at random then she could just go anywhere and pick the first child she sees. Why, in this situation, would she target your child out of all the kids?

It should be a concern now

Agree