DH said my job isnt a real job

[Mrsisolated]

I work in HR so my days are spent mopping up other people’s problems and dealing with very difficult situations.

I earn a decent salary which I feel is about right as the emotional weight I carry is exhausting day in day out. It caused me terrible anxiety for many years but managed to come out the other side. However I have seen many HR professionals leave because it can be exhausting.

DH says all I do is sit at home all day and send emails. I’m absolutely fuming in side.

Reminds me of when mil described my job as being for “pocket money”. Im
a solicitor and a higher rate tax payer not doing a paper round 🙄🙄.

And he has the nerve to belittle your job. Seriously taking the piss!

Outrageous!

👏👏

@LovingCritic how you do think companies produce goods, services and IP without anyone working in their adminstrative, operative and personnel functions? What makes you think the OP's work does not contribute to "production?"

HR does have a bad reputation. However you shouldn't have to experience those put downs within your relationship. It sounds like your partner is a bit insecure about you out earning him.

He's right though, I'm with him.
Far, far too many people dwelling (in offices, or indeed at home) and not actually producing = rubbish economy.

This is such an out of date and lazy response.
What exactly should people be 'producing' to be considered valuable?

Gosh, this sounds familiar. My ex, who stacks shelves part-time in Asda (no ambition to even become a supervisor because "I don't need the hassle") also said I don't have a real job. I am site manager for a process plant, responsible for the safety and wellbeing of 23 people. Go figure.

Eventually his jealousy and feelings of inferiority escalated to downright controlling behaviour and I LTB.

If he adds nothing to your life, you're making the right choice, OP.

Maybe you should be fuming on the outside. He's either stupid or deliberately trying to belittle you. Neither is great

I hate it when this happens. Your partner should be your biggest fan.

We are a similar set up. But DH totally respects my job. He fully admits that he has a very nice life as a result of it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a drip feed should be.
Top work OP.

I keep hearing about these jobs but can never find one! In the meantime I'll just have to keep plugging away at my job spending hours preparing complex financial reports, researching and giving guidance on financial issues to other staff and answering constant queries. Though to be fair I do attach the reports to emails to send them out!

I'm an HR Director and my DP constantly says how hard I work and how emotionally draining it is, and he is in the navy doing drug busts! Your DH doesn't respect you and it sounds like he is chipping away at your self worth. Was it a one off misguided banter thing or is this a common pattern?

Me too, all I do is type on a computer. Mostly I don't even type words just numbers.

@flowergirl24 , you make futures. Hats off to you, its a hugely difficult job you do

Minimizing your work in this way makes me think that he is either jealous or insecure. Either way he’s putting you down to make himself feel better.

What else does he say to you, OP?

Best bit is you work in HR, your entire job is about making hard decisions and moving people on.

Use those skills wisely and get rid of the nasty little prick.

I'd be livid.

I work in the creative world and get a load of bullshit about my job, mostly banter, but people can't fathom what I do and how I earn big money.

Everyone with a brain knows HR is super stressful. .

Yes OP, begin by putting him on a Performance Management Plan!

So he's a part time people watcher. He's clearly putting you down to lift his self esteem. What else does he do? I don't believe this is an isolated example. I bet your life would be easier and richer without him. Get your ducks in a row and see him off OP x

How can you even bear to listen to such a load of shit from a lazy prick who works part time in Tesco? I’d laugh in his face and tell him he might want to up his hours if he’s going to pay for a home all on his own.

My DH once told someone who asked him "what does your wife do" - she doesn't do anything.

I was pregnant, running my own business and looking after our toddler at the time. It was 11 years ago and I still haven't forgiven him. He had no explanation for why he said it, just "dunno".

After that I started keeping the money from my business to myself, seeing as he thought I did nothing.

Please don’t allow your broodiness and longing for a fourth child (as per your other thread three days ago) keep you shackled to this shit man.

Tell him you're going to get a proper job. Part time on the checkout at Tesco.

Might change his mind when you tell him the money you'll be earning...l

Why is this always an answer. How about having an adult conversation.

I ran a business employing 80 full-time staff. I worked 80 hours a week. My DB told me that it wasn’t stressful because it was ‘just admin’.