DH said my job isnt a real job

[Mrsisolated]

I work in HR so my days are spent mopping up other people’s problems and dealing with very difficult situations.

I earn a decent salary which I feel is about right as the emotional weight I carry is exhausting day in day out. It caused me terrible anxiety for many years but managed to come out the other side. However I have seen many HR professionals leave because it can be exhausting.

DH says all I do is sit at home all day and send emails. I’m absolutely fuming in side.

Himself is useful is he?

He's right though, I'm with him.
Far, far too many people dwelling (in offices, or indeed at home) and not actually producing = rubbish economy.

You are intelligent enough to deal with your job and in your words mop up other people’s problems and deal with difficult situations.

You can also apply the same approach to your home life. Of course it’s going to be difficult and hard. But crickey girl you can do it.

Think of the future and what you want it to look like. 👍. Presumably not this.

Take a strategic approach, just like you would with a difficult work situation and approach and apply it here.

When I was a midwife my husband told me all I did all day was coochie coo with babies.. the arrogance of an mediocre man

Blimey that really is quite extraordinary in the extreme. Is he still your husband?

That is exactly what I thought too.

It wasn't probably said in jest at all, that's the issue. I wouldn't be married to someone who was so disrespectful, especially considering he works part time at Tesco.

You don't like each other much, do you?

Where are you getting that she’s not producing? And even if she isn’t, who do you think is enabling the people who are producing?

Why are you "absolutely fuming in side.'' I stead of telling him straight?
He's the one with the fake job then, isn't he?

@MrsTerryPratchett
Actually no he hadn't got a fake job. He's nasty for saying what he did to op but working as a pt supervisor in Tesco definitely isn't fake!

Sounds like he knows he should be getting more hours of work but doesn’t want to, so instead is trying to diminish what you do to justify that’s he’s being a lazy arse.

This! People see the act of emailing or being on the phone as easy things they themselves do. Which just shows their ignorance as it's the substance of those interactions you get paid for. The skills and intellect that makes the job a paying one, and that takes years to train for etc. My kids mimic my dh working by holding a pretend phone up going "blah blah blah" and typing on a keyboard. Meanwhile he's sorting out the financing of huge solar farms and other energy transition stuff, often in the billions.

Most people don't know the ins and outs of others' jobs, but wouldn't it be nice to look at the training involved, the demand and the salary paid, and trust they're legitimate??

Get him back to work asap, or else he will claim primary carer.
What a loser.
Get legal advice.
Don't you waste your energy arguing with a waster, focus on getting rid.

I work in finance, what are you copy and pasting?

Problem is, it started off as a little branch of accounting or the general secretariat called payroll, that then evolved to personnel in the 60's and got really out of hand when it became HR, one of those things that became a self fulfilling prophecy of more and more work made up to make work, aided and abetted by the government and cooked up professional bodies.

If you can scalp a big company or department for a nice big salary for being in HR, good luck to you, no problem with that, but its far from essential, the world turned before it came to pass.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Careful

Can he claim he is primary carer even though they're at school now?

There wasn't quite so much legislation back then was there?

A lot of snobbery on this thread, nothing wrong with working in Tesco.

Thankfully we have people like the OP doing the supporting work. What a shame that this crucial work is relegated to non-essential. Better lump it with all the other non-essential, non-producing work like nursing, social and community work as well then. Why can't people realise that everything plays its part to keep society running. Fed up with the constant minimising of people's jobs.

Ha. Also in HR. DH laughingly once said all I did all day was talk and his job was much more complicated.

Covid lands, all his IT projects stop overnight and I’m on site at work (NHS) 16-18 hours a day trying to keep everyone safe. He has since admitted that there’s no way he could do my job. He won’t even turn his camera on for meetings.

Yep, jealousy, inadequacy and feeling threatened by your success and earning power.

There is when you are refusing to work more hours despite DC all in school and are disrespecting the person who is largely financially providing for the family.

My sons dad used to do this, I'm a primary school teacher so I'd be home before 15.00/16.00 most days... I was a "part-timer" & sure what would I know about working a "proper full day" ?

It's such a reductive thing to say, I don't care if he works in Tescos or Nasa, jobs are jobs & being made to feel "less than" because you're not down the pits 14 hours a day is just so mean

He said this to you and you didn’t rip him a new arsehole? He needs putting firmly in his place the bloody arrogance of it. Quite clearly he has zero knowledge of the work that you do so should STFU basically. I’m nothing to do with HR but I have seen first hand the kind of things you deal with on a daily basis and honestly it’s not the kind of job I could do personally. The idiot needs educating.