Page 11 | MIL strikes again

IceCreamIsTheDream · 11/10/2024 14:17

Poor GPs :( had the little fella after all (they r amazing! Hope you bought them a nice box of chocs and a bottle of wine at least!), despite you moaning about them on social media and your DC being ill! 😔

HaveYouSeenRain · 11/10/2024 15:41

againanothernamechange · 11/10/2024 14:13

just an update... he went to GP's house, he slept well and there was no need for calpol or anything else.. regular updates and he seems happy enough and he will be back home later this evening. i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps but i do take onboard that if he's ill in the future, i need to be a bit more assertive with my work!

so receptive to feedback. If you know everything better anyway why did you even post. Hope you have some gratitude for your MIL who looks after your baby regularly overnight.

MrsSunshine2b · 11/10/2024 16:52

againanothernamechange · 11/10/2024 14:13

just an update... he went to GP's house, he slept well and there was no need for calpol or anything else.. regular updates and he seems happy enough and he will be back home later this evening. i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps but i do take onboard that if he's ill in the future, i need to be a bit more assertive with my work!

I really hope that MIL didn't feel forced to abandon her plans to see her GC because of you throwing a tantrum.

If you make daft decisions that endanger your child's health, you will be judged.

Grammarnut · 11/10/2024 16:56

againanothernamechange · 11/10/2024 14:13

just an update... he went to GP's house, he slept well and there was no need for calpol or anything else.. regular updates and he seems happy enough and he will be back home later this evening. i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps but i do take onboard that if he's ill in the future, i need to be a bit more assertive with my work!

That was very kind of your MiL. She gave up time with her other GC to look after your DC when he wasn't well so you did not have to take time off work. I hope you gave her chocolates and flowers and lots of thanks. And maybe think about paying for childcare? Most of us do - and if we have GP who will look after DC we thank heaven fasting.

harriethoyle · 11/10/2024 16:59

againanothernamechange · 11/10/2024 14:13

just an update... he went to GP's house, he slept well and there was no need for calpol or anything else.. regular updates and he seems happy enough and he will be back home later this evening. i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps but i do take onboard that if he's ill in the future, i need to be a bit more assertive with my work!

Maybe take on board that your attitude towards your in laws is appalling and you need to wind your neck in?

DavidBeckhamsrightfoot · 11/10/2024 17:01

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 13:36

she has said that if we are really stuck, she will re-organise the play date with the other GC.

i just feel constantly judged by her! every decision i make about my baby and she has an opinion. I started him on solids at 4 months, and she questioned this, We've put him in his own room, she's questioned this!

She can and should judge you. If you want a judgement free life become self sufficient.

August1980 · 11/10/2024 17:37

Why are you and your child more important than her other grandchild? She does more than enough for you and your DP. Your kid is sick - stay home and look after them. If they were at nursery you would have to keep them home anyway as it’s not fair to pass on germs and make other kids sick and inconvenience their parents! Shocked at your selfishness!

PorridgeEater · 11/10/2024 17:42

Ilovelifeverymuch · 10/10/2024 13:27

Your title MIL strikes again is unfair, her point is valid isn't it that she doesn't want your sick child to spread it to the other child? And this accusation after you admit that they have helped you even more than agreed this month.

And your statement that she is being precious about her other grandchild is disrespectful and ungrateful unless you are going to claim that she treats her grandchild differently from your child or something.

Edited

This.
As others have said she is completely justified in questioning whether the child should visit - it is unfair on grandparents and the other child.

C36M · 11/10/2024 17:42

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 12:53

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

Even if you weren’t being unreasonable, it’s your mother in laws wishes. Be grateful they have your child so often

C36M · 11/10/2024 17:43

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 13:36

she has said that if we are really stuck, she will re-organise the play date with the other GC.

i just feel constantly judged by her! every decision i make about my baby and she has an opinion. I started him on solids at 4 months, and she questioned this, We've put him in his own room, she's questioned this!

Why are you giving a 4 month old solids when all the guidelines say this isn’t good for them?

Gbishywoo · 11/10/2024 17:49

100% unreasonable

if my sister sent her child to my mums poorly I’d be really annoyed! Why would you want to make another child and your mil sick?
also why when your baby is poorly wouldn’t you want to stay home and snuggle them and make sure they are ok? A cold can change very quickly in babies!

work legally have to allow for sickness in dependents

TheRoseWriter · 11/10/2024 17:50

I'm actually annoyed over this post and the OP. Weaning and placement of sleep aside. Her handling of this has been atrocious. The audacity is staggering. The fact you would actively introduce the cold virus into a house full of older people who have other children in their family that they would like to see is infuriating. Have you no common sense or common decency for that matter? Were basic manners not taught to you?
You left your child there and thankfully everything seems to have gone smoothly but that was luck and nothing more. The fact you put your in-laws in that predicament in the first place tells us allot about your character and it is not pretty

Gbishywoo · 11/10/2024 17:53

Ps

nobody has every had our 3&1/2 year old over night EVER
be grateful you have this luxury.
we pay £1000 a month in childcare so we can work and because our son is disabled he has about 8 days off out of the 20 he goes a month due to sickness, we still pay and one of us stays home or in hospital with him! You have no idea 😂 wouldn’t dream of leaving my baby poorly with anyone it would destroy me

Letskeepcalm · 11/10/2024 17:58

TomatoSandwiches · 10/10/2024 13:02

Your kid your problem, they already do you favours for childcare.

I'm absolutely astounded at your attitude tbh.

Edited

Totally agree!

llizzie · 11/10/2024 18:00

againanothernamechange · 10/10/2024 12:53

DP and I have a 10 month old, we live a 40 min drive from his dads house, we have an agreement in place that once a month for childcare reasons his dad and step mum will have GC. we have to drop GC off, he stays overnight and then GP's will drop him back home after work the following day. I admit, this month we've had to ask them to have him on a couple more occasions than usual because of mine the DP's work.

GC is due to go today, he's been off colour all week, and is now full of cold but MIL (its easier to call her that) is questioning if he's well enough for the visit! she says that she had planned for her own DD's child to be there 'for quality time apparently!!' (theres a 6 month difference), but if our son is poorly, she will have to cancel this as its not fair to pass any germs on!!!

I simply can't take time off work, nor can my DP and its just a cold!

AIBU by sending GC or YANBU.. its just a cold and she's being precious about the other GC

Perhaps it is not just the other GC. It depends on age and fitness, of course, but your child might pass it on to the grandparents, which could cause more problems, and they might not be able to have your child again for a long time if they catch the cold too.

Letskeepcalm · 11/10/2024 18:01

IceCreamIsTheDream · 10/10/2024 13:16

I think you are being massively unreasonable!! This is your partner's parents! Not some paid childcare provision! They sound amazing to have had their grandchild as much as they have!! Bless them, they r allowed to say no to a poorly child every now and again! Even if he wasn't poorly, they r allowed to say 'sorry, not this week'!

If you want regular, reliable childcare provision you will need to pay for a nursery place or childminder. In my view, grandparents are there to assist if and when it's ok and they r happy to. But you must never take their kindness for granted or rely on it. They have a life too.

My parents are dead and my in laws live over 600 miles away. You r lucky to have these kind people in your life. Don't forget how lucky you are and don't push your luck and take them for granted.

Hear hear!! 👏👏

laraitopbanana · 11/10/2024 18:02

Errors · 10/10/2024 12:59

You sound entitled to me. They’re doing you a favour by providing you with free childcare! YABU

hi op,

I am sorry but I agree with this. GPs childcare doesn’t pass on automatically your responsibilities. It looks like you want your MIL to take on your sick child against her wishes.
No good can come out of this.

Your MIL is saying no to this. If you want to continue to use her as childcare, you would be advised to hear her out. Nursery wouldn’t take your babe either. Your work isn’t more important than their health…

Good luck 🌺

hoxtonbabe · 11/10/2024 18:03

harriethoyle · 11/10/2024 16:59

Maybe take on board that your attitude towards your in laws is appalling and you need to wind your neck in?

Show quote history

This with bells on. So ungrateful and entitled. The inlaws don’t sound bad or unreasonable at all.

Some people really don’t know when they have it good🙄

Marine30 · 11/10/2024 18:03

i think lots of people don’t realise how lucky they are to have ANY grandparental help, let alone a regular once or twice a month babysit overnight.
Realistically the MIL is always going to slightly favour her DD’s kids. I do feel it’s a bit mean knowing your child has a really bad cold to pass him over. He could potentially spread it to four other people 🤷‍♀️.

pineapplesundae · 11/10/2024 18:08

If you drop off a sick child, mil is going to refuse future child care and rightly so.

Deeperthantheocean · 11/10/2024 18:13

No, you don't drop a poorly child off there, as you wouldn't at nursery. Being parents you have to work around it and one stay at home. If it wasn't for the other child and GPs willing then ok but she has clearly said she doesn't want the risk of germs. X

MagicFarawayTea · 11/10/2024 18:21

rainbowunicorn · 10/10/2024 13:01

I think you are being very unreasonable if the child is unwell. I also think it isn't very nice to say MIL strikes again about somebody that is doing you a huge favour by doing g regular childcare. You do come across as a bit entitled.

Totally agree with this ☝🏻. You sound very entitled and sarcastic in your description about her relationship with her own grandchild. You also sound like you are prioritising work over caring for your sick child. A poorly baby is better off at home with you.

PlanningTowns · 11/10/2024 18:31

againanothernamechange · 11/10/2024 14:13

just an update... he went to GP's house, he slept well and there was no need for calpol or anything else.. regular updates and he seems happy enough and he will be back home later this evening. i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps but i do take onboard that if he's ill in the future, i need to be a bit more assertive with my work!

Kindly, if you put it on a public forum or indeed discuss with people in real life, you will be judged. As humans we all make judgements on an inordinate amount of things every day. I have made many judgements about you based on your posts - surely that’s the point of these things.

you cannot stop people judging you, you can control how you respond.

pollymere · 11/10/2024 18:32

I voted not unreasonable. I think if it's just a cold, the other child will be exposed to it elsewhere anyway. However if yours is really out of sorts then they need one of you, not your MIL.

Imjustlikeyou · 11/10/2024 18:33

Even your ’we have to drop them there’ as if that’s you doing them a favour 😂 YOU had a baby. Your baby has to come before your work, give your head a wobble ffs.