To not like being called by forename by kids

[BreakingDad77]

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

I’m in the UK and agree all of this except our Dc do have uniforms but surely we can slide that formality through as equality!?

I hate to bring class into this thread-but this is Mumsnet I suppose🤣. But auntie and uncle for unrelated adults is most definitely not-posh.

Born in 80s would never have DREAMED of addressing an adult by their first name, family members by their 'title' uncle/aunt etc.. and especially close family friends would be called Uncle X, Aunt Y etc.. Obviously that changed as got older but def not at primary age...

Tell them you want to be called 'My son's name'
It is rude to address an adult by their first name, particularly uninvited.
But clearly their parents have not taught them manners

@Roosnoodles nobody is arguing it wasn't the done thing in the past.

It's 2024.....:

Born in 80s would never have DREAMED of addressing an adult by their first name, family members by their 'title' uncle/aunt etc.. and especially close family friends would be called Uncle X, Aunt Y etc..

It's fascinating to me how culturally-dependent this is. Where I grew up it was always first names. Never auntie or uncle anything unless they were. I'm 47.

Because children are not just small adults

Even at 63, I call my uncles/aunts Uncle x, Aunty Y, etc, despite a couple of them asking to be called 'x'; (doing that seems so disrespectful)
But then again, we are in times where children are supposed to be the centre of everyone's bloody universe, and thus we should pander to each and every precious little whim

@OneRarelySeesABrazierTheseDays but they are small humans 🤦🏽‍♀️

Humans is the overarching category. Adults and children are not the same.

Would you stress a child with your mortgage worries? We owe it to them to treat them differently.

Are you usually so uptight.

Has someone claimed that it is? It's heavily regional in my experience. Normal in parts of north England and Scotland. At my playgroup as a preschooler in the early 80s we were expected to address the staff as 'Auntie'.

I went to schools (independent) where all teachers were called by their forenames (Christian names) so would feel really weird if anyone called me Mrs BotterMon. My DC friends always called me by first name and I always called my parent's friends by their first names too in the 70's onwards. YABU and a bit stick up your backside.

@OhTediosity "Has someone claimed that it is? It's heavily regional in my experience"

Nope-it just amused me that there doesn't seem to be a single Mumsnet topic that class isn't potentially part of!🤣

That is also a Fair point.

You wouldn’t have been calling a random lady aunty who wasn’t such she would have been Mrs/Ms Pennyfold or if well aquatinted and allowed Julia.

Aunty is more cultural or working class for not actual relatives. If you are going class wise.

My youngest is 28 and all his friends called me by my 1st name. No one called me Mrs Lottery!
I grew up in the 60's & 70's and all my friends' parents were Mr/Mrs Surname.

they do, they don’t use it very much but they still use it.

If it comes with a general lack of respect, then I don't like it. It also feels weird when it comes from someone decades younger! But otherwise it doesn't bother me (much).

On average, someone who has lived 30 years longer than me will have contributed more to society than me, which deserves respect. Again on average they will have experienced more and learned more.

I think the concept of respect has changed over the last half century, from something which is earned, and not everyone will achieve (the respect you give to a top footballer, a person who has done obvious good, or a "national treasure" for example), to something more akin to basic human rights, due to everyone.

This may explain why many older people find it hard to understand they should respect a 5 year old as much as a 50 year old. Of course both have the same right to have their opinions heard (new definition) but if you were seeking advice on how to deal with a blocked drain, you may place more credence on the 50 year old's suggestion than the 5 year old's (old definition).

This may all be rubbish, I've only just thought about it.

Yes, yes they are.
But not fully rounded, and not entitled to grown-ups privileges

I call my father by his first name. It was too confusing to continue to call him "Dad" when DC knew DH as "Dad". and I wasn't going to call him "Grandad" because he's not my grandad. So I use first names for all of us, and DC resolutely use Mum/Dad/Grandad.

No I don’t think it’s rubbish. There is definitely a quality in the concept of respect that ties to our humanity, young or old.

BUT I do think the way that respect should manifest is different depending on our age.

Children have unique rights that need respecting, and in return I do think it’s healthy that children are brought up knowing they have adults in their world with valuable knowledge and experience who will protect them, guide them and yes sometimes discipline them or have thd ultimate say over their actions ( like sleeping in a tent in the garden when it’s minus 3) .( The sad and unacceptable fact that some children are failed in this regard is another topic) .

But any honourable ( and self-respecting) adult would know that respect for a child’s right to life trumps theirs in a scramble for lifeboat type situation. So all are respected. but the fundamental differences in situation of adults and children impact what is appropriate respect.

Nasty
What is wrong with expecting some courtesy?

But any honourable ( and self-respecting) adult would know that respect for a child’s right to life trumps theirs in a scramble for lifeboat type situation. I wouldn't see that their right to life trumped mine, I would see it as equal. But their right to a lifeboat place trumps mine because they are less able to survive without one.

No I don’t think it’s rubbish. There is definitely a quality in the concept respect that ties to our humanity, young or old. It wasn't the concept of respect I was suggesting might be rubbish, it was that the way that concept was understood has changed over the last half century.

Well you’re certainly not pandering to your relatives who have asked NOT to be called aunty or uncle. That’s disrespectful.