To not like being called by forename by kids

[BreakingDad77]

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

It’s nothing, wait until in 10 years they all will send you friend’s requests on FB and will start commenting on your holiday photos.

Haha yes. All my brothers mates have my mum on Facebook. Some even bring her chocolate. I still find that very strange.

I think it's a good rule of thumb to err on the side of formality initially and that we do our kids a disservice if we encourage them not to do so. No one was ever offended by being called Mr Jones (if they are Mr Jones, obviously) but a fair few will feel uncomfortable having someone young enough to be their grandchild of child calling them Mike.

I find it very odd when people insist on Mr/Mrs in a private setting.

One of my old colleagues insisted on it claiming that the children would forget that they couldn't call her by her first name at school. Funnily enough the kids always managed with me - Mrs X at school, FirstName at playscheme (in the school hall), Different Nickname at dance class (in the school hall) and different nickname again at Rainbows or Brownies (I was a 'hellllp were short handed occasional helper).

Insisting on a formal form of address won't draw any more respect from them.

It wouldn't feel respectful to me to call someone 30 years older than me by their first name.

Doubt it, very few people born after the early 90s use fb!

Maybe we should go to calling all children little master and miss as well.

Master William could you please do your hand writing in cursive.

why certainly Mr Jones.

There's your answer, sir. 😉

It's a bit weird to be so insecure around a group of children that you need to emphases your superiority in that way.

Maybe they should just call you Grampa then??

Well, tbf, we are in the West. I accept that in other cultures Uncle/Auntie are more generic terms of address, but here in the UK they are not, and they are only for your actual Uncle/Aunt (obviously immigrant families etc can do what they want!). Personally I would not let my children call anyone Uncle/Aunt if they were not an Uncle/Aunt. It's confusing, and inappropriate.

Totally common where I grew up in Scotland, and still is now, for your parent's friends (and your friend's parents) to be Aunty/Uncle.

It's not remotely confusing or inappropriate. You don't like it, which is fine, but you could easily be less rude about things other people do daily.

And maybe don't talk for the entire UK

I was going to say that's a ridiculous argument, but it's not an argument at all really, is it? Basic manners, basic expressions of respect, don't really change. Good manners are about considering the other person's feelings and making them feel comfortable: they're not about you feeling comfortable.

People pay an awful lot of money to send their children to school to learn to write a decent script and call their teachers 'Sir' and 'Miss'. Why do you think they do that?

Doubt it, very few people born after the early 90s use fb!

This often gets said on here, but my teens and their friends all use it. As do my girls in their mid 20's.

Going by the number of friend requests I get from former pupils they're not unusual.

Oh here we go-I didn’t say that. If a site based in the say, the USA or Japan or The Philippines, where people asked a manners/culture question, it would be a bit rich for users based elsewhere to start chipping in what should happen because that’s what we do here wouldn’t it? Nothing about only Brits can use it-fwiw, I’m not British by origin but have no problem accepting a site which is UK based has primarily UK users.

Your own child calling you by your first name is odd. Other people's children - what are they supposed to call you?

It's not about superiority. It's about understanding that you're an adult and in charge and they are children for whom you are responsible.

But why do you need to feel respectful just because someone's 30 years older? Respect everyone, not because of their age.

You don't "need" to be called Mrs anything. Calling your relatives Mum/Dad/Grandma etc. is more about affection for them as your dear family member, than formality. Also, you do have authority over your own kids, you do not have any authority over your kids' friends.

Came back to 9 pages to scroll through on phone 😲😀.

Thanks for the advice, think I was just being old fashioned/baked in stuff from parents, and be more relaxed on this.

When talking to our kids (11 and 8) we will always refer to the parents of their friends as "Xxx's mum/dad" or "Mrs/Mr Yyyy", unless the parents are also our personal friends, in which case we would just use their first names. It's just a matter of respect for acquaintances who you don't have a close personal relationship with. I don't know how my kids address the parents when they're at the friends house, but hope it would be however the parent wanted to be addressed. My daughter's best friend is the child of teachers (at her school) and there is no way my daughter would voluntarily call them anything except Mr and Mrs when she's round at their house. They actually remarked how polite both our kids were when they had a meal with them once and both addressed them as Mr and Mrs and asked if they could leave the table.

Schools where we are in Canada are pretty informal- no uniforms for example- but teachers, janitors, cooks - all adults in the school, are addressed by title, not first name. Doesn't mean kids can't give them a hug either. It's just a basic show of respect and acknowledgement that there is a distance and the adults are in charge.

If the OP is more comfortable being addressed as Mr then what's the problem? Especially if the kids are in his house and he is the responsible adult!

Well I’ve learned to more relaxed, but I think some of the shaming of “ old fashioned ways that are disrespectful” is pretty ironic if you look at some of the posts supposedly championing respect on here!

And sorry I called you “ she” without checking - also ironic on a thread about addressing people!

Really? My family are as British as they come and I grew up with a whole load of "Aunties" and "Uncles" who were not related to me. My daughter is 4 and is more likely to talk about our close friends, who she refers to as Aunties and Uncles, than our actual siblings, who she's not that close to.

Well I kind of disagree. Adults do need to be able to take charge.

Np, you'll open another can of worms now 😂

Why is she in charge of, or responsible for, anyone else's children?