Not allowed private room

[Spamfritterss]

for my birth I made it clear I wanted to pay for a private room. When giving birth 3 weeks ago I had a bit of a traumatic birth and was told I couldn’t have a private room with bed for my husband due to needing an extra eye kept on me. I was put on a noisy ward where I was placed at the end by the window the row of beds next to me all had their curtains partially closed so you couldn’t see me unless you walked down. I didn’t have someone keep an eye on me I had checks but no more than any one else. My husband and I had been awake for way over 15 hours so I sent him home as one of us had to get some sleep. The ward was full of people and partners chatting all night as well as crying babies. All I wanted was to be alone with my husband. I had no clue what I was doing couldn’t move properly and spent the whole night crying over what had just happened to me. 2 of my mum friends have just given birth and where able to have a private room. I just feel really resentful. I get they thought it was medically necessary but no one could see me and I didn’t get any extra checks

Have only read this far and I think some of these posters should be thoroughly fucking ashamed of themselves!
OP I hope you are now enjoying your baby and recovering well .
Our local hospital has own room with en-suite for every single patient so your expectation is not unreasonable.X

Can you write your thoughts down in a letter to the hospital?

Best of luck with the therapy

They are kept for specific reasons sometimes, my sister got one as a social worker as there could be mothers who she has previously worked with and potentially removed their child, same for her friend as a police officer.
But really in the grand scheme of things, you have just given birth to a baby, I really wouldn’t worry about having a private room. I went nearly 50 hours without sleep, it’s really not something I look back on and think about having just brought my child into the world.

This does seem a bit of a stretch!

The lack of sleep? Absolutely not, I’m a light sleeper, I got up on the morning of my due date about 7 went the whole day, had a sweep at 4pm, waters broke at midnight and baby born 7am. That’s 24 hours. Then awake all day with visitors and general adrenaline. Then didn’t sleep the next night either for general disturbances in the ward. It was a loooong slog

Move on!!!!
First world problems

They put me closer to the staff office due to a traumatic birth so quicker to get to me if I needed anything. Maybe that's why.

Her expectation is unreasonable. She thought she could pay for a private room (I made it clear - i.e. she treated the NHS as if it was a private hospital) and that in all circumstances this would be available. But most maternity hospitals have a limited number of private rooms. Also, the OP had a traumatic birth and needed to be under observation. This is much more safely done if the patient is in a public ward rather than a private room - for the patient's safety.
She objected to the noise (I have thought this myself in similar situations and once felt like getting up and telling first-time mother opposite me in 4-bed ward to take her baby back to the nursery as I wanted to sleep - but I didn't!) and also said she was not checked more than anyone else. She was at the end of the ward, so she can't have known how often other people were checked up on and she isn't privy to how the nursing staff work so she cannot know how much she was observed - it's only her 'impression'.

I doubt that is true. If we had babies over thirty years ago the odds are that we are now grandmothers and know what maternity care is like now - since we have DDs and DD-i-Ls. My first grandchild was a traumatic birth, his mother nearly died bleeding out. Her care was excellent though I thought the maternity ward cramped - remembering the spacious 4-bed ward my DGS father was born into. So that was a bad change. We will also know about the various maternity hospital scandals, e.g. Salisbury, where it was obvious that the factors impinging on poor outcomes were a) poor staffing levels, b) a culture that promoted natural childbirth over all other outcomes c) a decision from central government that caesarians should be reduced because of a perceived view that natural childbirth was better and also on grounds of cost. (I would wish to see all three of these factors addressed.)
Thus, our comments are germane to the post. The NHS has private rooms for specific purposes e.g. to house a woman who has had a still-birth, or to place particularly vulnerable women. These rooms are also available for someone who wants to pay for a private room, but this provision is tramelled by requirements for other mothers who need rather than want a private room and also by the condition of the mother wanting a private room - it is easier and safer to monitor a mother who is in the general ward, where she can be seen by every passing nurse, care assistant and doctor who enters the ward.

At that point they did not know you were to have a difficult birth and the staff with you probably did not allocate rooms, either. And you will not know whether the rooms were free later on. Also, you will not have been the only labouring woman. There might have been stillbirths or miscarriages whilst you were labouring, and some of those women would need a private room. It's not a right just because you can pay.

That is poor treatment for your SiL. I hope she has been able to come to terms with this dreadful event in some way (I know that one can never truly overcome it). The NHS does treat mothers badly. I think this is in part misogyny, which places childbirth well down the list of important things the NHS does and also lack of staff and staff training. But OP was not in your SiL's situation but did need to be where she could be observed and where an alert that something was wrong would be quick - alone in a private room a problem is less likely to be noticed quickly.

Even if it was private staffed at £500 a night if anything had gone really wrong the OP would have found herself on the NHS ward - private hospitals generally shove patients with problems back to the NHS, where the expertise is.

I ended up in a private room with both of my children. I offered to pay but was told that I didn't have too.

I am sorry that you didn't get one.

Is that a private hospital? Where is it because it sounds amazing to have a room and ensuite to myself.

These postnatal private arrangements are only ever subject to availability if a room is available. If the private wing is full you won’t be entitled to one

Things might have changed but in 2008!it was policy at Liverpool Womens that the private rooms (which I had in 2000) were not for women who had had cs or otherwise difficult births as they needed more care. But that was a load of nonsense - I got no more care and I could have managed fine in a private room.

The private room with en-suite was wonderful - nothing to pay, NHS. Liverpool Womens has lots of them - but it was policy that cs deliveries were not allowed one.

Hey OP, sending a hug, sounds like you been through it. I had a similar experience with both mine actually and was on the ward both times: one hospital kept private rooms for planned c sections when mine was emergency and another only had them for uncomplicated - natural - births. It felt like such a blow! And its a very hard time. I think you and the others on the ward are all being looked after in a more detailed way though you may not realise it everyone on your ward is getting a certain level of care that is slightly higher than normal. Once you off the high level care they may let you go? Try not to think too much about it just focus on rest and recovery xx

I know every country has problems with its healthcare system, and as an American, I’m certainly not going to claim that our system is perfect. But I still find it so shocking that the UK puts new mothers in these large wards where you’re separated from strange men by nothing more than a curtain, and you’re somehow expected to recover while surrounded by other people’s crying babies. The first time I heard about this on Mumsnet, I thought I must have misread somehow. Especially the part about having to wait in line to use the bathroom.

YANBU, because the whole concept of large maternity wards is unreasonable and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they can to get out of it.