Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

Insurance is the answer. They can’t allow members of the public into staff restricted areas as insurance wouldn’t cover if you had an accident

Lots of stores have this policy, I'm on water tablets and even have a card to confirm the urgency but I wouldn't expect them to bend the rules to me. Unfortunately, you need to plan better.

Even if you have a toilet urgency card/disability radar key most shops wouldn't allow you to use the staff toilet for insurance and liability purposes. This is standard everywhere.

Yeah, it would be nice if we could use any toilet we needed if desperate, but as a PP said, often the insurance prevents it.

Sorry that happened to you but they really aren't allowed- for insurance purposes and shoplifters trying it on

I sympathise, must have been awful, but I wouldn't criticise the shop for this

We should have more public toilets

I doubt it's insurance and that's it. It's security, they can't let a customer be walking around the areas where food/money/staff belongings are stored. It's sounds like a bad experience for you OP but it's not the shops fault, I hope baby is here soon and this is a past memory.

They can't let you into the staff areas, including the loo.

The problem is that you'll probably have to go through the stock room, maybe staff room etc. there might be the staff member's phones/ purses in the area.

I was awful when pregnant and needed to wee probably every 45 mins to an hour. You just have to plan where you're going. I did wee in a lot of bushes over those months.

Partly insurance and partly security. Behind the door of the backarea there is probably lots of stock, potentially staff personal belongings/bags, cash being counted in the office.

If they had let you in, they would have had to ensure you were accompanied at all times. Someone would have had to left what they were doing, walked with you to the loo, waited outside the door until you had finished, and walked you back out into the public area. Can you not see there are problems with this?

You've learnt the lesson to go straight home I guess.

I'm sorry that happened to you but remember that the person you asked is not the person who decides policy or gas the authority to disregard it.
They could have been fired if they'd let you use the loo and something happened. Maybe if it didn't.

How could I plan better?

I live in a small town. I went to the loo immediately before the school run. I don’t have access to a car during the week as my husband uses it to commute to work so my only means od transport is to walk the kids to school and was just picking up some milk before returning home. There are no public loos. The staff in that coop see me several mornings a week picking up staples. I don’t normally need the loo on the school run but the baby dropped.

Wear those nappies for adults.

Kindness has nothing to do with it - they can't lose their job for you.

When you say 'soiled' yourself are you talking about faeces? If so, I would probably speak to the GP about this- urinary incontinence is understandable in pregnancy with the bump on the bladder but I'm not sure faecal incontinence is expected in pregnancy.

I'm sorry this happened, but In those types of shops the toilets are usually behind locked doors, where the stock is kept and safes etc. allowing an unauthorised person back there would probably cost someone their job. I'd be hugely sympathetic to you though.

Buy a pack of incontinence pants just to see you through until you have the baby.

Why didn’t you ask at the school where they know you? You would probably have had a more sympathetic response. I am sorry this happened though, one of the joys of being a woman. Make sure you do your pelvic floor exercises post birth.

I don’t think the co op is at fault - the fact there are no public loos these days is not on them.

Can your husband not leave you the car for the rest of your pregnancy and get to work on public transport? And when the baby is tiny too. If it’s so rural there’s no way of him doing this, is being a one car family really practical?

Adult nappies also sound sensible until the baby comes, esp if so imminent.

Im assuming you mean wet yourself rather than soiled?

I used to work in the coop and someone got fired for letting a member of the public into the back area to use a loo! It's 100% the insurance element unfortunately.

Yes probably the school would be a better bet than the co op

Aww, that's really horrible op.
I also feel like the shop staff are caught between two considerations there and could have gone either way understandably.
I think many people would have done the kind thing, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
The world is a hard place these days with little trust for others ((for good reason often), sadly the bad apples have spoilt the barrel for others.

Return home and go back out. I'm not being funny, you are pregnant not disabled.

I had a lot of cough/sneeze incontinence during the end of my last pregnancy, I just had to wear tena pads most days unfortunately. I was once allowed to use the staff toilet in a primark, so it is always worth asking, just in case- just be prepared to be told no.