Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

Public liability probably. Stores are insured against the risk of a customer injuring themselves in the public area of the store by a can of beans falling on their heads or slipping on a patch of spilled milk. They are also insured against the risk of a staff member injuring themselves in the backshop area, and all staff will have had H&S training on how to stack boxes, how to clear floors etc. They may not be insured against the risk of injury to a customer in a backshop area, because customers shouldn't be there in the first place.

It's nothing to do with insurance.

No one has to risk their jobs for a customer. The school would have been a better bet.

Sorry you've had such ignorant and unsympathetic answers from some people here who obviously didn't read your OP properly.

It is rubbish but it sounds like their hands were tied. When I worked in a small shop I remember my manager taking someone to the staff loo in an emergency once, but she had to accompany them and wait outside the door, so maybe if they didn't have the staff they wouldn't have been allowed to do it. When I was pregnant with my second I weed in a few bushes in broad daylight... if you wear a long coat no one need see your bum.

I can assure you it is, at least partly. Mum owned a cafe and she could not let anyone in the staff areas at all because the insurance would not pay out if they injured themselves there.

On a human level that's awful. It remember being 9 months pregnant in a Starbucks and I went to use the loo. The regular toilet was occupied, I waited about 10 minutes but couldn't any more. Next to it was a disabled/parent and child toilet. As a man came out, I went to pass him into it and he blocked my way and said "this is for disabled people". And he just stood there, not letting me pass. His wife also glared at me from a table near the toilet. Eventually he gave up and I went in but people can get funny about pregnant people using loos. (I should say that he was very clearly not visibly disabled so the fact that he didn't even consider that as a reason I might need to use it... also, I may not have needed the nappy changing facilities yet but try telling my pelvic floor that didn't urgently need the loo!!!).

But yes, insurance. It sucks but you can kind of get it.

I have a medical condition which means I often need to go to the loo urgently (wee not poo). I use pads but when I have an attack pads dont work as too much wee. I have a sheewee! Which means when I have to (and only when I really have to) I can go in a car with a blanket. Obvs not ideal but better than what you went through. Sorry for the TMI!

As awful as it is OP, and I really do sympathise with you, they can't let you go. There's huge insurance issues.

Say you had to pass through the stockroom to get to the toilet, and on your way there/back tripped? They then have a massive problem on their hands.

I'm sorry you had such an awful experience.

But it's not a case of whether kindness was shown or not. They would lose their job over it. If it was a neighbour or a business owner who didn't allow you to use the toilet then maybe that's an issue of kindness. But when you ask a retail assistant in a big corporation like Co-op it's not their decision to make.

I very much doubt there is a clause in the insurance that distinguishes between the back of the shop and the front of the shop. If there's something particularly dangerous in the back of the shop the insurance also wouldn't cover the staff either.

@KnottedTwine "Public liability probably. Stores are insured against the risk of a customer injuring themselves in the public area of the store by a can of beans falling on their heads or slipping on a patch of spilled milk. They are also insured against the risk of a staff member injuring themselves in the backshop area, and all staff will have had H&S training on how to stack boxes, how to clear floors etc. They may not be insured against the risk of injury to a customer in a backshop area, because customers shouldn't be there in the first place."

Exactly. Also letting a member of the public use the toilet means a staff member will have to accompany them and leave the shop floor.

A larger store with lots of staff may allow this but smaller as less likely to. Also a potential technique used by shoplifters to reduce staff on shop floor and less eyes on them. - particularly in smaller convenience stores where there many only be a couple of members of staff working

Many years ago I was a 16 year old girl working in a Co-op as a Saturday girl when someone tricked their way into the back area, held up a gun and robbed the office safe at gunpoint. It was the scariest moment of my life and I still have nightmares about it. He looked like a normal friendly guy, face wasn’t covered, nothing about him suggested armed robber. He pretended to be a delivery man.

So whilst I absolutely sympathise with you (4 overdue pregnancies myself, also found myself in the same busting situation)…….. I would not have let you through a locked door into the secure area of the store, to risk my own safety or risk losing my job.

Were there houses nearby - would you have felt comfortable knocking on randoms doors and asking to go into their home and use their toilet? I’m guessing not, because that would compromise your safety. The co-op store member felt that same feeling.

I think it was quite degrading for the staff member to deny you of using their facilities.

It really doesn't matter about their policies, it's just a toilet.

Sorry you were put in this situation.

No you are certainly not being funny. Just lacking in basic kindness.

It's not down to the individual staff members - it's a company insurance thing.

Maternity pads or incontinence pants.

i agree with others they wouldn’t have been able to let you for insurance purposes. Do a wild wee??

I weed outside loads when I had bumps

Aw bless you, I'm sorry you experienced that.

I understand what others are saying however I know my Sainsbury corner shop lets people use the staff toilet in emergencies so it must depend on the branch.

jefl

It would only be pregnancy discrimination if they had denied her access to the toilet BECAUSE she was pregnant.

Unfortunately OP you have to work out where every loo you can freely use is.

I had to work this out for disabled relatives before I got pregnant.

It is crap if it is an emergency as you can't go, there as if you have 5 minutes you may be able to get to a loo on time.

I discovered that some boroughs have a Public Toilet scheme where pubs, restaurants and cafes allow members of the public to use their loos freely.

So for example every branch of McDonalds in the two boroughs I frequent mostly allow you to use their loos.

However it is more difficult to use the toilets at some train stations as they are behind the ticket barriers.

Even if the staff member would have lost their job by allowing her into the backshop area to use the loo?

Kindly, if you didnt even make it out of the shop before wetting yourself you likely wouldn't have made it to the staff toilet either - they often arent situated directly off the store, they could well be a 1-2 min walk away via a warehouse or even on a different floor via a staff canteen or similar.
I think you probably feel particularly upset about this due to the embarrassment factor but unfortunately these things happen.
Personally when i was heavily preg and worried about this stuff i returned home between every errand - so i wouldn't have risked popping for milk while out on the school run id just have collected and gone straight home, used the loo before going out again.
Also planned my fluid consumption a bit around when i would need to be out for more than say 30-40 min!

Would have been nice if they could have helped - but I image there are insurance and staffing levels to be considered- so I don't think you can expect it these days even with public toilets getting rarer.

You can get Urinary Incontinence pants as well as pads these days - maybe just get both for the remaining time of pg and try and put the whole horrible experience behind you..

Aww, you poor thing

You can tell who has never worked in a shop on this thread.
If you ignore the whole insurance thing the main issue would be that there will be lots of stock that could easily be stolen if random members of the public are allowed into the backshop.

Just wear a thick tena lady pad, I’m surprised you aren’t already at that stage of pregnancy tbh on your third child. I’m fairly incontinent due to birth injury and wear one most days because I know I can’t wait if I need to go.