Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

[pelvicfloorisnomore]

I’m imminently due my third baby and have a massive bump. Popped to the local coop post school run and as I was checking out was desperate for the loo. My pelvic floor is pretty shot from previous 2 kids, the baby had dropped during the school run walk so I was feeling like I could not wait. The store was empty bar a couple of pensioners. I asked if I could use the staff loo as desperate, there are no other loos nearby and I was unlikely to make it the half a mile home in time. The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop. Completely humiliating and had to walk home like that and could have been avoided if a little kindness shown.

AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others.

Did posting this make you feel good about yourself? Did it contribute anything positive to anyone's day? Or did you just make a woman's already horrible morning that little bit worse?

Sorry to hear about your troubles, OP. I'm heavily pregnant too, and sympathise xx

They would have had to sign you in as a visitor, explain the fire evacuation policy and remove a member of staff from the floor to escort you.
Members of the public can't go wandering around the staff areas of shops.

During covid I was waiting for my appointment about my food allergies/possible celiacs. They didn’t let me use the loo. I had to shit in a bush. I then missed my appointment.
I feel your pain OP.

It’s pretty obvious the OP means she wet herself.

Ive worked in a Co Op. There will be one toilet and that’s near where high value stock is stored (spirits, cigarettes, wine etc) and where the safes are.

Im sorry this happened but it’ll be nothing personal or lack of empathy. They probably don’t have enough staff to monitor a customer being in that area.

I tried to make it home. I made it as far as the front door of the shop. It was pretty humiliating.

I do empathise as I have a medical condition and can confirm the urgency when there's no loo is awful. It's not the shops fault though, not only is it for insurance reasons, but often the loos are up stairs and well within the staff area- it's just not appropriate to let non staff back there and I wouldn't expect anyone to risk their job for it.

It’s nothing to do with the kindness of the staff, they have to do their job and could potentially be sacked by allowing this. Is the slight inconvenience of wearing tena lady for a few months worth someone’s job?

I have bowel disease and completely understand the need for urgency when it comes to toilets, but I wouldn’t put staff in compromising position. I use the appropriate sanitary products when I have a flare up. Is it nice? Not really, but it’s better than the alternative.

Wow cut to the chase

They should have let you use the staff toilet. When I worked in retail we often did.

OP is probably aware of what she is and what she isn't. You're not being funny, you're being rude.

Yes you are being unreasonable. It’s policy. That’s all you need to understand. The staff member could and would get into a world of trouble if they let you in unauthorised areas-especially if you were to trip. You know your limitations, you know your medical conditions, it’s on you to plan things and have a contingency in place. An employee shouldn’t face a disciplinary and potential dismissal for gross misconduct for your benefit

So sorry, OP. Be kind to yourself today x

I bought a She-Wee, practiced using it in the shower, then carried it around with me and discreetly wee'd on bushes and trees when needed. I travelled for work up until 39+3 so couldn't always find toilets when I needed them.

How could I plan better? Buy adult incontinence pads!

I'm sorry this happened but YABU! They are staff toilets, not public. For all you know, they get requests daily like this- my child needs the loo, I have IBS, my husband can't wait etc etc. Where would they draw the line? Well they draw draw that line for EVERYONE!

The onus is on you to make sure you don't wet yourself. Your attitude is entitled.

You take precautions such as emptying your bladder before you go out on a short trip or you wear those Tena pads if you think you may spring a leak.

I worked in many different stores as a student; we were never allowed to let any members of the public use staff toilets.

They told you it's policy. What more did you want from them?

Most jobs have policies and procedures. You can't expect people to break them just for you.

I also don't know why you mentioned the store being empty apart from two people you have decided are taking their pension.

Well I don't think they came up with policy to annoy pregnant women nor because they are bored

Yes I'm sure it was and I feel for you. But it's not co-ops fault.

If it makes you feel any better I peed my pants at work twice and that was in early pregnancy (due to vomiting with HG). It's embarrassing but you get over it. The Co op can't just let anyone use their toilets, it'll be against policy and probably their insurance and the staff will end up in deep trouble if they let you.

Same. Better than having to clean up someone’s bodily fluids off the shop floor.

A lot of places can't because of their insurance. I'd have been sacked for letting a customer walk through the back to the toilet.

I've had a gentleman with a can't wait card ask to use it and had to say no. He could kick off all he wanted but I still wasn't going to leave the shop unattended to escort him across a warehouse with a forklift whizzing about. Plus we all had our personal belongings out there, customers personal info, you can't just leave them unattended back there.

It's not always as easy as just let them use the staff ones.

I think many people would have done the kind thing,
I disagree here. I think if it had been a small family run independent shop the op mat have been OK but not many people would risk being fired from a national store because they haven't followed rules that's in place partly to protect them.

As mentioned, I did go to the loo before I
left. I normally do the school run everyday without an issue today but today was different. The baby dropped and I had no way of making it to a loo on time.