Things DP said to me while on holiday

[noodlewoo]

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

Get him out asap. And have a much nicer holiday next time without him.
He’s vile. Objectifying women, putting you down all the time. 🤢 Very unattractive traits in a man.

Please don’t waste your time and life with this man / boy. He doesn’t think your enough for him but will get a shock he you showed some strength and ended things . He ll only get worse if he stays because your allowing him to disrespect, belittle you . Set your bar higher , you deserve it . The fact that he refuses to be accountable about how his cruel ways are hurting you speaks enough volumes. Kick him out .

I completely understand, I was in fact in this exact situation with my DC when he was young. Couldn’t find a placement with nursery and had an uphill fight to apply for a specialist school placement. Also had to collect him from mainstream school after only two hours a day attendance. I would never have been able to work whilst all that was going on.

Luckily after years of perseverance he was given a placement at the right school to fit his needs and he was able to attend full time which allowed me to go back to work. Don’t take any notice of the comments from some of the few clueless and unsympathetic idiots on here. Your carers allowance will always be a support and safety net for you whilst you’re unable to work and financially you be okay. People have no idea how difficult it can be to be a parent of a child or children with a disability. You will get there. Take your focus and strength from your children, they will guide you through this difficult time. You sound like a wonderful mother who is kind, understanding and patient. You deserve so much more than the person you’re with now.

Your DP might love you as the mother of his children, but based upon what you've written, he definitely doesn't like you.

You've also admitted that he's mainly still living with you due the convenience of somewhere to live.

You are too young to give any more years to a man that doesn't like you.

If I knew you in real life, my advice would be love yourself more than you love him, raise your boundaries and your standards.

When you do this you'll find the confidence to tell him to kick rocks and get out.

Good luck

@Hyperbowl thank you so much x

My pleasure. I wish you the very best x

Oh my goodness, please just boot him out then! He is being emotionally abusive to you and do you want your kids picking up on that, really?

Whilst you are involved with this bellend, he is gradually chipping away at your self esteem in a cruel way and I know there is only so much you should take before you move on without him, a shadow of your former self.

That is why I suggest you talk to him, asap and tell him how he makes you feel and warn him if he continues to undermine your self esteem, like he has been doing, you could/would leave him,

Of course his behaviour/words make you feel unloved and shitty.

Thats the whole point. That is how he wants you to feel. That makes him feel good, in control etc.

SO no, I doubt he will leave and if he does he will assume he can return and will return at the first opportunity.

Get rid of him, he is a disgusting waste of space.

that's horrible OP - He's a bully. Chipping away at your confidence bit by bit so you expect less and less. Consider finishing with him. for your own self respect

What a horrible man.

he is chipping away at your self esteem.

please kick his ass out. He’s no good.

Why does it not make sense to you? He’s a twat and that’s the way twats behave. End of.
No point in trying yourself in knots trying to “make sense” of it.

I take it he looks like a Mens Health cover model, yeah? Or absolutely not!

It's usually incredibly average men who treat women like this.

Don't put up with that shit, OP. Tell him he's being a twunt and to shut his face.

You mean your ex partner don't you?

He doesn't seem to like you much. Time for him to fuck off.

I hope your husband has washboard abs, is dressed to the 9's and never ever complaints about any physical ailment. If not the case I would come on him like a ton of bricks.

@speedmop He’s a good dad I can’t fault him for that and I get on with them really well

Wow he needs to be dumped you deserve better get rid of him pack his bags and throw him out that man doesn't deserve you and it's disgusting looking at other women in front of you and then saying about their clothes etc as well tell him to go fuck off with the women he was looking at what a asshole

Wow, he's awful.
I wonder how he'd look in lycra?!
Sounds like he has terrible taste in clothes too...he wants you to wear leggings that go up your arse and give you camel toe and cold midriff?!

Being shitty about your period really is bang out of order, no excuse at all for that.

Run 🏃‍♂️ 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩

This type of bloke has an official designation.

He is a bell end.

I would ditch him.

Really really hope you told him that people would certainly think he was punching above his weight. My god. Hope you’ve dumped him already.

An essential part of being a good dad is being a good role model, including being good role model of how to communicate with your partner. Would you be happy if your DC grew up feeling that the correct way to treat a female partner is the one your DP is modelling?