To have not reminded him it's his washing day?

[Thfrog]

We have a complicated work schedule and various kids to juggle so my husband does his own washing. He asked if he could have a day allocated for him to do his washing. That was Saturday. That way it has a chance to dry on the airer inside. He hasn't done it and is now saying WHY DIDN’T YOU REMIND ME. As he now has no clean shirts.

I did think yesterday oh the airer is free I might do some washing but I just assumed that meant he hadn't needed to do washing on Saturday.

AIBU to have not mentioned it?

If you'd reminded him, it would allow him to opt out of remembering himself. Then it would become another job for you.
Hopefully, he'll remember independently now

So expecting men to behave like adults is petty?
Resentment is what kills relationships.

The answer is not "just do it yourself"
The answer is men stop with the learned helplessness and grow up

Funny that, because I couldn’t live like you either-needlessly putting others down for running their relationship in a way that suits them. This post isn’t about you and how you “couldn’t live like this”
Either answer the question that was asked and move on, or keep your petty put downs to yourself (you might think you couldn’t have a petty relationship, but you sure as hell behave in an incredibly petty manner to other women-do better)

I did think yesterday oh the airer is free I might do some washing but I just assumed that meant he hadn't needed to do washing on Saturday.

I would have mentioned it at this point. It's not your job to remind him but everyone can forget stuff.

How does he manage to remember tasks at work?

FFS you're not his bloody Mum!

How can a grown man not be aware when Saturday has arrived.

Perfectly put.

Why should it be the woman who bears the mental load? Does his penis stop him from remembering it’s Saturday? Ah the poor lamb.

Of course its not on you to remind him BUT if you thought he hadn't done it would it have killed you to say "did you do your washing?"
If you did notice and didn't remind him on principle then it was a bit of a dick move but if not then fair enough

What's petty about assuming a grown man knows when he needs to wash his clothes without needing someone to remind him?

Man here, not sure what your DHs issue is - I often forget, at which point the old collar sniff test on the spent shirts comes into play, you can often get away with a extra day with a spray of deodorant, its no biggie.

Sounds like the kinds of arrangements and pettiness I experienced when I shared flats with people in my early 20s, rather than a functioning relationship

@WhimsicalGubbins76 oh do shush now. No one cares about you trying to be nasty. It's Monday morning. Cheer up, don't start your week in such a negative way.

I said I hope she finds a better way to live. You don't have to live like this. Life is short.

I'll bet you that he's never once had to remind her to do laundry.

We generally put stuff that needs washing straight into the machine and when it's full switch it on.
Can't be arsed with his and her washing in my home. It's all just clothes that need washing.

Ah yes, the sort of team where he only washes his own stuff and not OPs or the kids.

Where’s his team playing or is it just the women who have to do the heavy lifting?

I get it OP. Yes, ideally you'd work as a team; one big happy family. But in reality it often gets to the stage where one person (read woman) is doing the lions share whilst the other gets used to being told what to do. It's exhausting for the person running the house.

So I don't blame you. If he forgot, fine, we all do, he'll have to bung it all in today, have it dry overnight and improvise today.

Does he put reminders on his phone? Sounds like he isn't helping himself but expecting you to take on more and more.

You have to draw the line for your own mental health and I totally understand that. Good for you.

This!

Not your job to remind him. Just puts more mental load on you.

Until you realise you're the only one ever doing it.

That only works if both partners genuinely split the load, though.

In OP's case, it sounds like it would just add even more work - I mean, this is a man who doesn't even wash his child's uniforms, his wife has to do it!

If your marriage is so petty then you r got bigger issues to address.

if he’s not pulling his weight generally then address THAT properly rather than this passive aggressive tit for tat.

Three laundry baskets - colours/whites/darks and do a load every day. Never backs up, no sorting required. That’s the practical solution.

But it solves nothing if you’re doing all laundry and he’s doing fuck all.

What do you suggest then for the hundreds of thousands of women in the UK who find themselves being ladden with the majority of household tasks, despite asking partners to step up and do more?

Hmmm. Except he’s not much of a team player if she does all the laundry for everyone else is he?
Presumably he’s doing his own laundry because she had enough on her plate and was fed up with doing it all, but instead of him thinking “oh gosh yes, we’re a team I should do half the laundry workload here for the whole family as an equal partner and teammate” he elects to do only his own and then can’t even manage that. And then blames her.
There’s someone in this situation who isn’t a good team mate but it isn’t OP.

New rules. You all do washing. As yoh are mire on it, ou put the load on then ask him to hang it out or put dry laundry away. It's not fair that you do 3 people's laundry and he does his own. Ridiculous situation.

I'm not surprised you didn't remind him. Sounds like a man child.

@Thfrog Lol! he only has 5 shirts then, does he????? 😃