I hate being ignored in shops and worry it's due to being a middle aged mum!

[iloveshetlandponies]

Went in JD sports earlier with one of the DCs . We were looking for Uggs for me and converse for DC so I was going to be spending a good £200 or more

Stood there for ages trying to get someone's attention so we could try some on and got completely blanked and ignored by the teenage staff. It wasn't even busy in there, I'd understand it more if it was

Ended up walking out muttering to dd that perhaps we'll try John Lewis instead as you get better service in there . Which made me feel even more middle Aged

Absolutely Fuck middle age and the way it makes us completely irrelevant and invisible . It really makes me feel shit . Left the house today feeling like I looked pretty good as well. But Obvs not

Totally agree @Lentilweaver

I doubt most of them could fully staff them with adults even if they wanted to. Shop work isn't popular, and is very inflexible. People have more choices even for low paid work than a few years ago, and they vote with their feet.

You’re really reading too much into this. They aren’t ignoring you because you’re middle aged, they’re ignoring you because they’re overworked teenagers earning minimum wage in a shop that doesn’t prioritise customer service. Lots of “young people” shops are also changing the way they work so they don’t hound people who are just looking around, because most of the people who shop in JD don’t want that

I don't know a single middle aged man who thinks he is not being served in shops because he is not "hot" enough, when he hasn't actually asked for help. When my DH is ignored, he blames it on minimum wage and poor service.

It's really tragic how women value themselves solely on their youth and supposed attractiveness. I have no time for this rubbish.

We have a JD Sports and Sports Direct next door to each other, on a local retail park. Went into JD, the assistants stood at the door ignored us, blanked us when we asked a question, so we went next door and spent £150 and could not fault the assistant that helped us, he went above and beyond. It is some stores, some assistants and lack of care or interest and you can see that the general culture is dire. The worst example was a Mini showroom, a few years back. We went in to buy a new car, first ever for me. We spoke to the chap, he took our details and then he saw another couple entering the showroom and ran off and just left us sitting there, obviously thinking we were wasting his time. We left and went to another dealers and purchased the car. As he'd taken our details, the visit was followed up by the manager, as they have a system of checks on their service and to say he was less than happy with our story, is an understatement, as no other sales were made that day, but would have been.

JD Sports you say? They are notorious for young sales assistants looking bored and with thinly veiled contempt at middle aged women. 😂I have noticed this a few times as a rather mumsy looking mum in the UK.

Reversely, I went to a JD Sports in another European country and the similarly aged young man couldn't have been more helpful, bringing shoes after shoes to try on for this middle aged woman. In a trainer store in yet another European country I asked to try on some cool looking AF1s and the young man said in an "pour vous ou our les enfants"? I said Pour moi and he looked well impressed and ran around to get me different sizes which I tried on but didn't end up buying.

To round my quest for trainers up, I finally found the right pair back in the UK at JD Sports! I went on the first day after the kids were back at school and tried lots of pairs and even asked the poor lad which pair he preferred, h looked mortified but gave an honest opinion and I bought them. Love my new trainers. They are very cool 😎

Oddly I remember the opposite! As an older teenager I was working fulltime and had more disposable income that I do now and wanted to buy all the things. I was ignored in shops by middle aged staff as they assumed I was too young to have money to burn. I remember one incident in Argos after being ignored in favour of several people who queued after me where I barged them out the way and shouted at the middle aged lady at the jewelry counter 'any chance of serving me as I've been patiently waiting a damn site longer than anyone else here or am I invisible today?'....

As someone who worked in customer service for years, you basically get hardened to it - because honestly the public CAN be awful and unreasonable and talk to you like the help. You will have at least one interaction a day with someone who is really awful and treats you like shit.

Which is why I think most people have a shelf life in customer service.

I was thinking this.

I had to check again that the OP wasn't talking about Sports Direct.

The 2nd floor is completely unmanned.
You have to trail all the way back down and find the ground floor staff, then ask someone to put your purchase through please..

I notice they always have a staff member posted by the front door. To prevent theft from the self-service shop most likely.

I was in John Lewis recently. Entire floor of make-up, perfumes, etc. Various concessions.
Place was deserted, staff chatting to each other. Stopped at 2 of these concessions to ask about products. Ignored completely at 1st, had to wait at 2nd for staff to finish their convo.
These were not teenage staff. I am grey- haired, but the demographic they shoud be targetting
So not jus you, OP!

Please don't just take your custom elsewhere, leave a negative review when stuff like this happens. Many people, including myself, check and reject places based on such feedback. It's very helpful.

That's exactly how it works, and I absolutely hate being hovered over by pushy shop floor staff.

You make your selection and then actively ask for help if you still need it rather than standing there like a lemon expecting them to be psychic and then complaining that you are an invisible middle aged woman when they aren't. . It's the hands off approach that most of us really appreciate. I love being invisible. It works to my full advantage really and is exactly what is needed.

So, if staff approach customers and ask if they want any help they're accosting people, harassing them, annoying them, think they're shoplifting and using it as a reason to watch them. It's shit customer service.

And if they don't approach customers then they're ignoring them, probably because they're an invisible middle aged woman, don't care about customers, shit at their job and...... It's shit customer service.

So in essence the shop assistants are supposed to look at you (but even then that might not be acceptable because you might well take offence because of how their face is arranged in that moment and they're probably glaring at you for daring to exist, or conversely they are just looking for someone to pounce on) and know instantly what approach you want, and deliver that approach, but also know the instant you change your mind about the approach you want should you suddenly wish to be left alone or want assistance.

When did 'The customer is always right' become 'The staff are always wrong'? And when did mind reading become an essential skill in customer service?

No wonder there's a don't care attitude when you're complained at or about whatever you do 🤷🏼‍♀️. If you want a personal shopping experience tailored to your individual needs then you probably need to hire someone to do that.

I'm 42 and don't feel invisible, if I wanted help I would go up and directly ask them. I hate overly helpful staff or being bothered if I haven't asked for help.

This. Like you turn 40 and just like that invisibility cloak. Found this quite a silly post

Totally agree. I'm 52 and have never felt this invisibility thing at all. You need to assert yourself OP, and if it's still rubbish, go elsewhere (and leave a bad review).

This is indicative that customer service is declining generally. M&S used to stake their reputation on friendly and attentive service. If even their staff are behaving like doctor's receptionists now then you don't need to worry OP - it isn't you, it is genuinely all the others.

The best customer service I am receiving in any shop at the moment is in 'The Card Factory', of all places. I go there (different branches, so it isn't a "Oh Mrs window you're back again, how are you?") type scenario. The ladies are absolutely lovely, they range from young to 60ish, and couldn't be any nicer. They are always smiling, cheerful and friendly. I don't know if anybody on here works there if so, you're doing an amazing job. I love going there for birthday and Christmas cards, and wrappings/balloons etc, and know I'll get fixed up. I think so many complaints are made, but rarely compliments, when shops do get it right. This has reminded me to put in a good word with who ever managed the chain!

Aww 🥰 my friend manages one of them

Perhaps she has served you !

Why would you never go into an apple shop

Well tell her she is amazing, and to keep doing what she is doing.

Honestly I was feeling particularly down one day while choosing a father's day card (for my df who died, it was the first one). I know it sounds crazy, but I wanted to put it on his grave. After he passed, I had just encountered so many rude ignorant people, everything going wrong. I guess I was easily irritated, and pessimistic given the situation.

The lady was just so lovely on the till, obviously I didn't tell her about the situation lol depressing the poor woman for the rest of her shift, im sure! She just had such a nice way, and I left knowing there is some good in the world. I'm in my very late thirties so I guess similar to op's age.

Minimising op's (and others on here) experience doesn't help

@Allfur, I've never been in an Apple shop. Why would I need to go into one?

@WeRateSquirrels , you're probably not self aware enough to notice it.

I utterly despise JD Sports but I also realise that they are staffed by kids on shit wages because they are cheap bastards. Shocking service when trying to buy two pairs of trainers for my kids - so I gave up and went to Schuh kids instead where the customer service was absolutely superb

Do companies not use secret shoppers any more?