I hate being ignored in shops and worry it's due to being a middle aged mum!

[iloveshetlandponies]

Went in JD sports earlier with one of the DCs . We were looking for Uggs for me and converse for DC so I was going to be spending a good £200 or more

Stood there for ages trying to get someone's attention so we could try some on and got completely blanked and ignored by the teenage staff. It wasn't even busy in there, I'd understand it more if it was

Ended up walking out muttering to dd that perhaps we'll try John Lewis instead as you get better service in there . Which made me feel even more middle Aged

Absolutely Fuck middle age and the way it makes us completely irrelevant and invisible . It really makes me feel shit . Left the house today feeling like I looked pretty good as well. But Obvs not

I just march up to people and explain politely what I want. You have to develop the middle aged woman “no shits given” superpower.

Just stand there muttering loudly to your DC ‘No bugger’s bothering’

That wasn’t OP’s issue though was it. Plenty of staff, she just need to put her big girl pants on and approach them instead of standing around like a lemon.

Why are we overthinking shopping? Get stuff done and just go ask. I don’t have time to analyze a shopping situation and just ask for what I need to get on with my day. Agree middle age don’t give a fox attitude is awesome.

I hope you left an online review.

I used to take my revenge in my late 20s/early 30s by leaving online reviews of retailers appalling customer service.

Strangely all those retailers have gone bust...

I also would email others directly to praise good service but done retailers e.g. Homebase thought I was complaining.

OMG this is so both shit and hilarious .

🤣

I've always found staff to be helpful to old and young people. When its very busy you do have make a bit more of an effort to get their attention.

Even if its not busy don't wait around expecting anyone to notice and approach you.

It's nothing personal, they can be rushed off their feet too at times.

I've always found I have to go up to them, many retail employees have no incentive to make sales or desire to see the company do well like they maybe did back in the day.
And teenagers don't notice anyone above 25! Don't take it personally OP

@thechosentwo
Same experience with Sephora in France! Although the staff were very helpful even with my appalling French.

But on the invisible note, I feel more visible with every passing year. I've found my look, my confidence, my voice! I feel like I'm really in the world of adults now and everyone talks to me.

I think I'm middle aged now so 45 but I don't get ignored, I get bothered when I accompany teen DD in shops like skincare and makeup but also felt paranoid that on Jigsaw near my Mum whig is in the Midlands and in from the South east they kept asking me if they could help, I felt like they thought I couldn't afford it - weird!

This. I had to do this in Lush. Two women deep in conversation. I was polite.

Also Yo! Sushi. Shocking bad service at The Trafford Centre. No cutlery/ condiments for 20 mins and I didn't up up getting a drink at all.

Sorry about bad spelling, grammar.

No, it's not your age, it's just poor customer service. I'm 21 and always get ignored by the staff 🤣

I dress quite low key more London and I noticed they were quite polished so maybe they thought I couldn't afford stuff.

JD is notorious for this I think. A real teenagers shop, all staff are very young and seem to be disengage half the time so I actually expect it.

It may be a thing in general with shops, hey with life - but there really is something so incredibly freeing about not being noticed or scrutinised or commented on because of your youth and general attractiveness of youth. I'm more than happy to simply be more assertive yet kind now and at least know there's no bullshit going down ( e g being treated more favourably because I'm hot and youthful).

I think it partly depends on the shop. JD and Sports Direct are crap, whoever it is. I find that if I go into shops like Seasalt, John Lewis, Lakeland etc, where I am their target demographic, they are proactive about helping me. If, however, I find myself in Superdry or Hollister, they tend to look upon me with pity and hope the old lady is OK finding her way back to where she belongs 😂

Why were you just hopefully trying to catch someone’s eye though, you weren’t trying to get the bill in a restaurant where it’s not the done thing to go up to a staff member. I was in sports direct the other day where the teenage shop assistants were studiously ignoring customers of all ages, so I went up to one of them and directly asked for what I wanted. Not hard.

On the other hand I went into Lush the other day to get a birthday present and within seconds one of the sales assistants sidled up to me and asked ‘what has brought you in here today’ and I could get out of there fast enough and did not buy anything. So I’d much rather interact with sales assistants on my own terms than have them in my face. But I suppose there must be a happy medium somewhere.

I totally agree. Yet I'm much uglier and have no style due to various ailments. But the point is about growing into yourself, your aura, your confidence and then how you perceive your interactions.

I got ignored on a flight a few days ago. I was sitting in the first row (which only had seats on one side as the galley was on the other, next to a couple.

When they started walking with the drinks trolley the cabin crew served the man, who got lots of drinks and snacks for him and his partner, didn't ask me I wanted anything and then started walking to the row behind us.

They got a very loud 'Excuse me! Why have you served the people next to me but ignored me? I'd like a coffee please'

The crew were very apologetic and said that they'd planning on coming back to me after they'd served the rest of their section (yeah, right!).

What it actually was, was the fact that I'm a woman and they overlooked me and just served the important man!

I was served by a man in there who took both of my sports bras out of the box and felt around them, saying he was checking for security tags. Is that protocol? Anybody on here who has worked there?

I was stood there holding the shoes we wanted and trying to catch someone's eye but we were definitely being studiously ignored

Just go up to someone and say "Excuse me please, we'd like to try these shoes on in a size 5".
You are 44 years old. I don't know why you'd hang around trying to catch someone's eye rather than just being upfront and direct about it.

I prefer to be left alone when shopping but the other day I was trying to get the attention of the 3/4 teens in tesco who were too busy doing tick tok dances to see that multiple self service scanners needed help.

If I didn’t find it so funny, then I’d have been annoyed.

I’m sorry you felt unseen.
This is something I’ve heard about middle aged women but I do think service has gone done hill.

I'm 45 and I don't notice being ignored, having said that I can't remember the last time I tried on shoes in a shop. I just buy shoes in my usual size online and with DCs I measure their feet at home and buy online. If it doesn't fit then it gets returned.

I never seek the attention of shop staff these days except when going to a counter to pay (and I opt for a self-checkout if that's available). I'm an introvert and I think I quite like being invisible. It lets me get away with things as I am conpletely unnoticed.