To laugh at the request to be godparents

[Woollypullover]

My friend's daughter, who we've been very close to throughout her life, has asked me and DH to be her baby's godparents.

We're both atheists and of course, therefore, didn't have our own DC christened.

She knows all of this, but still asked.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous request?

Why doesn't her mate show respect and affection for her by not asking her to do something she knows perfectly well OP doesn't agree with?

The mate is also not religious.

So if she wants a party and "welcome to the world" celebration, why not just do a secular one? Since she isn't a believer herself and the person she wants to take a role is actively against it.

I am god mother to all my niece and nephews. I am atheist. I haven’t had my daughter christened. I don’t see it as big deal.

I think your mocking attitude to what is a touching request is really unkind. Your following posts equally had a rude streak to them.
Im also an atheist and I think your attitude to somebody who obviously values you absolutely stinks.

I someone doesn't believe in god, then naturally they believe that all the books and movies written about him are fiction.

Fictional characters often have multiple authors building out the canon, like SpiderMan or Ken Barlow or Doctor Who.

It means she cares deeply for you and would entrust you with her baby should anything happen to her and dp.

No, it doesn't @laraitopbanana. It just means they want her to be a godparent.
A godparent has no legal rights as a guardian. A legal guardian can be a godparent, but it needs to be written into the will. Being a godparent does not automatically mean they are a legal guardian.

So much misunderstanding on this thread about the difference between a legal guardian and a godparent.

@CrowleyKittensorry, but christianity is the official religion of this country whether you want to believe it or not.

It's not ridiculous. Holy baptism is a solemn ceremony where the child is brought into the church. If you believe all that , and I'm an atheist, then baptism is important. You can celebrate the baby and have a party without baptism

I cant say I blame you, Im an atheists too and whist it does not have to be religious now days Iv heard off an few friends and also AIBU about parents acting entiled because someone agrees to become godparents to their child ie expecting exspensive gifts, babysitting constantly, Id maybe not laugh though and politely decline.

I think most atheists are laughing internally, sometimes gently and sometimes not, at their religious friends and their crazy beliefs.

Not really, no. I grew out of that at about age 15.

How could you pledge to support them in their spiritual and Christian life then? Or did you just say the vows in church lying through your teeth?

This

This

Because she gets to choose what she wants for her babe and asks like everyone lol. Asking someone to be a godmother is well…not offensive.

This is also not what the op said anyway. Her question was if it is ok to laugh as an answer. That is offensive so…no. Not ok.

It is really as simple as that.

True it would need to be legal to be enacted. But that doesn’t mean that the rest isn’t true. It is a special bond of influence and expected to guide as a mother would in addition or instead of the real mother.

People can choose whom they want. It is an honor really.

There are serious religious vows a godparent has to make, not to be taken lightly, OP. Decline gracefully? I was a churchgoer when I became a godparent (much lapsed now). My goddaughters' parents hopefully later realised I was maybe rubbish at the churchgoing but would have absolutely been there in any practical sense if needed.

You sound ridiculous

Read properly. It was in reply to someone claiming that non-religious people are only having christenings for Instagram.

OP, you’ve avoided answering the questions about whether you ACTUALLY laughed in her face? Did you? Because if so, yes that was unkind and unnecessary.
Whether or not you have a faith (and you seem to make it a big part of your identity that you don’t- it’s ok, we get it!) you could be respectful and supportive of the people you claim to be close to.
You could politely (if you can manage that) decline explaining that you wouldn’t feel genuine saying the religious bits, but you want to be there to support them (I assume you can set foot in church for their sake without bursting into flames?)
If you did laugh at them I hope they will have reconsidered their opinion of you anyway and no longer want you influencing their child…
I’m not a Christian, but you sound more asshole than atheist…

Exactly. It’s ridiculous to ask professed atheists to be godparents as the vows in any denomination’s baptism service will involve parents and godparents professing their faith - she obviously hasn’t realised this.

I’d explain this nicely - but I wouldn’t laugh.

@Screamingabdabz
Pretty much, yes. I lied through the religious bits.
Just because I don't believe in god doesn't mean I can't be a good role model for my godchild or wish the very best for them. I am happy to say I reject evil. Jesus promoted tolerance and inclusion, as do I.
Christian faith doesn't have exclusive rights and the only way on how to be a positive influence on that baby's life. I was asked to be a role model for my personal qualities by the parents. They know my stance on religion and still asked me - they would have known more devout people than me as they go to church most weeks......... yet still asked me, I was touched TBH

As an atheist ‘lying in church’ or ‘having no respect for the church’ wouldn’t bother me a bit. I don’t believe in god or have any respect for the church.

i do believe in community and any excuse for a party though, so if asked to be a godparent I would accept (after making sure the parents know I am an atheist of course)

Being non-religious I am instead a guide-parent, still the same function as a god-parent minus the religious input. I was thrilled to be asked and do what I can to fulfil the role. The family, friends and other guide-parents attended a humanist ceremony similar to a christening followed by a party.

As been expressed many times. The UK is a Christian country, which allows other religions to practice their faith in peace.

If the poster doesn't agree with her friend's choices, save everyone the pain and just refuse on the grounds you are an atheist and non believer. I'm sure lots of others will be happy to step in.

For those who sneer at this ritual, just wondering if you would equally sneer at Muslim, Shikh, Hindu etc customs or would you see them as charming and delighted to be asked.

For me, I wouldn't be comfortable because it's making a public promise to do something I've no intention in doing.

It goes against my personal code to promise something I won't at least try to follow through on.

And I'm not gonna guide anyone towards faith.

So they'd need to find someone else to pay lipservice to it, or a believer, or just have a secular alternative if they really want me.

to be honest it is very horrible that you laughed at this. they were essentially saying should anything happen to them both you are the one they would trust to look after their child and make sure it is alright.

from one atheist to another, you sound so ignorant, over performative, uncouth and brash. There’s no need for the sniggering way you have behaved here. You are as bad as the religious fanatics you snare at, for the sake of the child, I hope you decline. Why would anyone want someone like you to be an influence in their child’s life?!!