Partner won’t marry me (thread 2)

[Everythingwillbeokk]

Continuation of the thread of the same name 😁

Yes that screamed at me too, that he was setting her up to be arrested.

I hope you are ok ? as you didn't come back yesterday nor this morning - yes I do realise you work and are a mother AND he was at home yesterday unexpectedly but I do hope you are ok
I know you are not accountable to ' us ' in any way but ' we ' well I anyway are concerned for you / about you.

right now I think the ' best ' update we could receive would be, is that you took your children and are safely at your Mums.

apart from waiting for an update,

@Everythingwillbeokk

do you think he may have planted some sort of device in your car when you drove the two of you to the supermarket - that's if it was your car you went in ?

Hello OP

Haven't posted on your thread before but just wanted to add my good wishes and agree with others' cautions, embodied in @DuckbilledSplatterPuff's excellent post.

When someone used to being in a position of authority starts acting strangely for him it's worth taking note. There's nothing to be lost by being extra cautious, and it could potentially save you a lot of grief down the line.

You're an inspiration. Well done for standing your ground

Stop trying to have chats with him.

No attempt at engaging now will end well. Not at all.
He will never see your point of view. He will never agree with you. There is only the potential for things to get worse, not better.

The closest he’s going to come to knowing what he’s done is you leaving.

Just quietly and civilly go about making your preparations and then leave.

I'd remind him that he should stop wasting his days off, as he will be needing them (when he has to look after his own children.....)

Haven’t posted before, but I’m also concerned the you hit me comment is a set up here. Please please be careful.

Well if he does try any nonsense with "the roll of paper tap on the head = hitting me", she can inform him that she is entitled to have her contribution to his mortgage repaid to her and that she will pursue a claim if he tries to fuck her over any more than he already has. Given that he told her that ring-fencing a house deposit was a fiction of her creation, he will probably put this in the same category until he gets her solicitor's letter. She can say she will need the money to pay her upcoming legal fees.

However, probably best not to say this to him whilst you are still living there.

How are you doing @Everythingwillbeokk ? X

Stop encouraging her to be confrontational with this man. Leaving a relationship—even if no history of abuse is yet seen—is always dangerous for women. She needs to get out fast and clean.

@pikkumyy77 - most of the posts I've seen here have been trying to persuade her not to confront him (quite right they are, too). I'm another who is trying not to find the OP's silence ominous and hoping she's just quietly going about her business and carrying out plans to leave asap.

Hi @Everythingwillbeokk
Please let us know if you are OK

@Everythingwillbeokk

' we ' are getting concerned now, you haven't been on your thread since Mon morning and you said a. you had ' hit ' him - according to him and b. he was at home instead of being at work.

I know you don't owe us anything, but just a ' i'm ok / busy with work / nothing to update will suffice and put our minds at ease.

' we ' be may overreacting but for all we know he did press charges due to you ' hitting him ' and you could have spent Mon evening or Tuesday evening in a cell or he could have become violent and you are in hospital !

I know you had friends checking in on you for Sat evening when you were due your 1st chat ( or maybe it was Fri evening ) but ' we ' don't know if these friends are still checking in on you.

Agreed.

Same - we're all just hoping that you are ok and preparing for the new house. You and your kids are in our thoughts and prayers.

I wonder if OP still plans to view the rental house today. Hope she is ok.

I hope she is ok. I hope all of the children are ok too.

I agree. OP’s two threads touched so many posters on here.

@Everythingwillbeokk

Please do just post anything. Even if you don't want to talk, that's of course your absolute right, just a thumbs up sign, so we all know you're ok would be greatly welcomed.

So many of us recognise what we've been through, and odd as it may sound from a bunch of online strangers on Mumsnet, we care more about you than you realise.

We're all worried / thinking about you. Can you at least let us know that you're ok? We're all in your corner and sending you so much love x

Starting to wonder if we've all been played for fools.

Did you get the house you wanted, OP?

I don't think we will be hearing from OP again. I've thought from the beginning she wouldn't leave him.

The insistence on talking it through with him and writing a stupid letter, dragging out the situation...and people lapping it up like an episode of Eastenders.
If it's somehow true she needs to wise up and not put her kids in such a dumb situation again.