Just because I'm there doesn't mean I'm free childcare

[itsmeits]

I go out once a week and take my DDs with me 7 and 13. It's a social evening thing, the girls love it, there are different activities on.
My sister has started coming fine no issue with that. Her mate is now coming with her DD 8
This is where the issue is. They swan off for 15-30 min cig breaks and leave the child unattended. Going for a cig is the announcement and off they pop.
Last night child of sisters friend was messing about and has hurt themselves, mum nowhere to be seen for over 20mins.
I am being blamed for not watching the child 😳
Apparently announcing I'm going for a cig is que for me to watch her child - never have either said can you watch DD while I nip out. Plus I don't know this child, met her a few times that's it.
When this happened I should have been sat with/watching her DD not participating in an activity my DDs wanted to do.

My sister is trying to rip me a new one and her friend has threatened to report me to SS for neglect, as it was my neglect (according to them) that has caused this hospital visit and her to be reported to SS.

Should I have watched this child
YANBU you have your DDs she needs to step up
YABU she's a single mum provide free cig breaks child care for her

What a horrible attitude you have. You think you’re a cut above them clearly. I don’t think you are judging by this comment.

Excellent response.
Your sister is a right nasty piece of work to blame you.
Her friend is a disgrace.
I would add that you have established that the CCTV is available for viewing and you will be happy to tell SS this too.

You need to distance yourself from them, and tell the rest of your family why.

Poor child, clearly neglected.

Let us know her response, OP.

I hope you make it clear to sis she is no longer welcome to join you if she asks to come again.

Good point. Write down all the times she’s left her child unattended.

Oooh @itsmeits - love your message to.your sister.

This

Bring it on I’d say

Same here. Two incidents to date are: the 3 year-old found wandering in the road alone by a passer by and the 5 year-old climbing graves and pulling a gravestone over into themselves whilst mum and dad were chatting inside the church.

Her friend is not your friend iyswim

good message to sister

I think you misread my post because that’s not what I said.

It sounds like you knew what happened before the parent. As the parent disappeared for 20 minutes. It also sounds like the child had an accident that would have happened whether you or the parent was watching. Ss are more likely to want to know what the parent disappeared for. Not you.

Yes that’s perfect!

Sorry, but what a pair of a**eholes.
SS will not even bat an eyelid at you, but that mother wants to be a bit worried.

Bravo!!

20mins for a fag. How big is this fag?

If it is true that she has been reported to SS for an 8 yr olf child having an accident in a public place, it mustn't be the first time accidents are on record. My boys have had a few accidents being boisterous out and about, including broken bones due to football accidents. Not once have SS been threatened or been in touch about it.

I think it was like this...

No no no...tell them you will have nothing to do with looking after the child. Be very clear, you weren't in charge of them, and never will be. They are being awful.

Yeah that was my thought. My daughter broke her arm falling off her skateboard at roughly that age and there was no whiff of SS involvement. There must be more to this for it to be reported to SS (by whom?).

Anyway, no, obviously you're not responsible for someone else's kid unless they've explicitly asked you and you've agreed.

Well done for not letting them bully you with this.

You’re sister sounds a nasty price of work, I’d have went one step more and suggested they curb their addiction as they are clearly putting their addiction effort the safely of their children.

I just hate smoking, especially as 20 of them were all standing outside the shops.
It’s disgusting and extremely selfish.
I’m not judging Bingo, just thought it might be.

Not your responsibility. Don't mix with the stupid cow again. She knows she was irresponsible and feels guilty.

Perfect message OP! Waiting patiently now for an update on the reply... 😂🍿

Good reply.

Good reply.

If needs be I likes @MrsBennetsPoorNerves reply as a follow up if required.

It doesn't take 20 mins to smoke a fag. My boss used to take 10 mins start to finish including getting to the smoking shelter so we didn't have to hold the fort too long. That's consideration fir others.

Inclined to think your sister is too busy smoking fags and undertaking ineffective parenting in general and needs a good kick up the backside. I think SS have bigger fish to fry though so unlikely it will be them.

If she asked you and only gone for ten mins that'd have been fine. She expects and goes for 20 and leaves you with a friends child also - not fine. Cheeky.

Maybe you should show her this thread.